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why are we not MOVING!!!!!

posted 1/22/2011 2:03:58 PM |
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I roll out of the lot and head down the street - reverse commute, homeward bound
there's a car or two ahead and I'm wondering how long the wait might be to make that right - turns out there's little if any traffic - the outdoor temp is 3 and it's more than a bit windy so my wait should be minimal
a jumbo sized SUV eases out of the White Castle lot, directly in front of me
I give it no thought -
I glance left and there's nary a vehicle to be seen so I'm ready to continue the commute - start it, actually - but
the SUV hasn't budged - not even a bit and it's straddling both lanes - that being the left turn and the right turn
I sit for a sec or so and wonder - "what the fuck???" - but I'm still in a chill kinda mode
traffic picks up a bit and then clears and there I still sit - so - I pop the horn - just a quickie tap - no response from up front so I tap it a pair of times
and I get a wave around
now from where I'm sitting there's no around - both friggin' lanes are blocked so I sit for another little bit - which wasn't really long and decide
gonna step out and get his/her attention and ask if they'll move
a sharp rap on the roof - a bit of a glare - maybe a somewhat stern "MOVE!!!"
and I'll be on my way
I stepped out - clad mostly in black except for the goats that faithfully warm my hands from the cold - black boots, pants, hoodie, jacket and - because it's more than a bit windy - raybans - even though it is a chunk past 6 in the p.m. dark
got a sinus thingie that's been buggin' me and the glasses block the wind - they're a nice effect too
I wander up front and what to my wondering eyes did appear but a massive, hulking, fill this jumbo SUV and then some momma and she's sorting through bags and bags of food - arranging her "this oughtta hold me til I get home" feast - she had enough laid out to feed a family of 6 - DAMN!!!!
I watched for a sec and just as she almost had everything where she wanted - I smacked that top
pure friggin' panic set in and I swear she shit - her head snapped my way - eyes filled with "HOLY FUCK!!!" - she caught sight of me and what followed was friggin' priceless - food, every bit of it, flew everywhere - nary a spot in that mega-mobile was free of it - and that massive shake she was sippin' just launched - she slammed that thing into gear and BAM!!! - gone
I walked back to the car - put it in gear and FINALLY continued on my way - wearin' just a bit of a smile - which warmed me nicely
I did wonder for just a sec how she'll ever clean that shake from the headliner - but
only for a sec

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Jan 22 @ 2:09PM  

Jan 22 @ 3:59PM  

Jan 22 @ 4:34PM  
I'd have been rollin' on the ground laughing!!

Jan 22 @ 6:48PM  

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why are we not MOVING!!!!!