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Before the Wedding and Honeymoon.... ;-)

posted 1/20/2011 11:39:34 PM |
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  casuallylooking


Since Straddle is doing marriage blogs..... and my daughter just got married yesterday... my thoughts are pretty much on weddings, receptions and such.
So...

Should a bride to be have some say so in the choosing of her engagement ring...or should he pick it out and completely surprise her with it?

What if he picks it and she hates it? (I have a friend that happened to and it couldn't be exchanged because he had it designed and made for her.)
Is she morally bound to wear it the rest of her life...if the marriage lasts that long... or should she tell him?
Ladies, what would you do?

And if they pick it out together, then he would have asked her without a ring....would that be a disappointment to most women?
Men, would you pick it out on your own... with help from someone else...or you and her together?
If you were going to surprise her with it, would you pick what you thought she would like...or what you would like to see her wear?

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StraddleMyNose

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Jan 20 @ 11:52PM  
Since Straddle is doing marriage blogs..... and my daughter just got married yesterday... my thoughts are pretty much on weddings, receptions and such.
So... Congrats to your daughter.

Should a bride to be have some say so in the choosing of her engagement ring...or should he pick it out and completely surprise her with it? I think he should go online shopping for one and pick one out that he thinks she would like, and then have her look at it to see if she indeed likes it. And if she does then he can go purchase it with or without her and then pop to question to her if she is with him or at a later time.

What if he picks it and she hates it? (I have a friend that happened to and it couldn't be exchanged because he had it designed and made for her.) That's pretty risky to try it this way. I would make sure I knew the color of the ring, and possible gems she desires before even attempting this.
Is she morally bound to wear it the rest of her life...if the marriage lasts that long... or should she tell him? They both need to know the likes and dislikes with rings.
Ladies, what would you do? N/A

And if they pick it out together, then he would have asked her without a ring....would that be a disappointment to most women?I don't think all woman would have a problem with this, as long as they're both on the same page with any discussions they may have had about this subject.
Men, would you pick it out on your own... with help from someone else...or you and her together?Again, I would have to know what type of ring she wants as for the color of the ring itself, and the type of gems if any.
If you were going to surprise her with it, would you pick what you thought she would like...or what you would like to see her wear?Absolutely, but I would have to have a pretty good idea on what she likes.
Wordsofwit

Jan 21 @ 12:00AM  
Congratulations on a unique and interesting blog I don't have an opinion on any of it really.

Secondarily, and I certainly may be mistaken as I don't pay that much attention, but I really can't recall any women that have worn their engagement ring after they have gotten married. Most have a wedding band as well as a wedding ring and wear the latter when going out somewhere on special occasions.
StraddleMyNose

online now!
Jan 21 @ 12:08AM  
can't recall any women that have worn their engagement ring after they have gotten married. Most have a wedding band as well as a wedding ring and wear the latter when going out somewhere on special occasions.
Actually there are a lot of women that wear their engagement ring with their wedding ring that matches each other.
casuallylooking

Jan 21 @ 12:17AM  
but I really can't recall any women that have worn their engagement ring after they have gotten married. Most have a wedding band as well as a wedding ring and wear the latter when going out somewhere on special occasions.

I'm not sure what you mean by a wedding band as well as a wedding ring... to me they are one in the same. Most women that I know...or have seen..If they have an engagement ring, wear it with their wedding band, and then just refer to them as their wedding rings..
As Shawn said, they are usually a set or at least coordinate to wear together.
PeachyKeen

Jan 21 @ 12:57AM  
Should a bride to be have some say so in the choosing of her engagement ring...or should he pick it out and completely surprise her with it?
There used to be a romantic notion that a man should know precisely what kind of engagement ring his true love desires. Some still go along with the fairy tale and if it works so be it.

My personal experience is what I preferred... we discussed marriage including him letting me know how much money he had put aside for an engagement ring. I was thrilled knowing he had thought about it enough to know what he could afford. We shopped for the ring together... it was a marvelous day and we found the perfect ring within the budget and I was proud to wear every day along with the matching wedding band.

I worn both rings quite awhile after he died, but finally just wore the engagement ring. Then I lost weight and can't wear it any more. I still find myself rubbing my fingers where it used to be because it was such a vital part of me. I'm saving it to pass on to the eldest granddaughter.
1bunny629

Jan 21 @ 2:20AM  
Never heard of wht Bruce said. maybe he is talking about an anniversary ring. Anywhoooooooo...I would expect the person I was envolved with and planning to marry to know my taste. I wouldn't worry a minute that he would pick out a ring that I wouldn't appreciate.
RJ53

Jan 21 @ 3:46AM  
I never had an engagement ring other than the pink topaz ring that I blogged about getting back after all these years. I would have been happy if I had received a proper proposal and a ring of any kind. And guys "Hey you wanna get married with your mouth full of hamburger helper is not a proper proposal. Neither is I guess we might as well go ahead and get married while she is helping you change the oil in your car.

If the guy picked it out that would be fine with me. If he wanted to marry me he should know enough to pick out something I would not hate. If he did not know my taste then perhaps we should be getting to know each other a little better before walking down the aisle.
KitKat25

Jan 21 @ 6:09AM  
Should a bride to be have some say so in the choosing of her engagement ring...or should he pick it out and completely surprise her with it?
I think the guy should have an idea of what his girl likes. If he hasn't a clue...then he could ask one of her girlfriends for help. This way he can surprise his gal...and get her a ring she will really wants.

What if he picks it and she hates it? (I have a friend that happened to and it couldn't be exchanged because he had it designed and made for her.)
This is a tough question because you wouldn't want to hurt the guy's feelings. I would say that the specially designed rings should be saved for the couples who really know each other's ring tastes.

Is she morally bound to wear it the rest of her life...if the marriage lasts that long... or should she tell him?
I hate to hurt anyone's feelings...so I would probably wear the ring for a few years. Eventually...I would start dropping little hints for an "anniversary ring" when our big day was just around the corner. If I did receive an anniversary ring...I would simply start wearing this ring in place of my wedding ring.

And if they pick it out together, then he would have asked her without a ring....would that be a disappointment to most women?
I've been asked when there was no ring present...and I wasn't disappointed at all. I was so caught up in the moment...that the ring was the last thing on my mind. I guess I was in love.
RevDocLove

Jan 21 @ 7:40AM  
As somewhat of an expert on this subject..6 times..as I recall we both went and picked out the rings together because we wanted a natching set
sugarnspice005

Jan 21 @ 11:07AM  
Congrats to your daughter!

Should a bride to be have some say so in the choosing of her engagement ring...or should he pick it out and completely surprise her with it?

I go for the surprise cause after all, it's coming from the heart. I'm one, who, even if I wasn't crazy about how the ring looked, I'd still appreciate it because of the love put into it.


Secondarily, and I certainly may be mistaken as I don't pay that much attention, but I really can't recall any women that have worn their engagement ring after they have gotten married.

My Mom wears both her engagement ring and her wedding band. Her engagement ring has a diamond in it, and her band is silver. It is a set. Cost my Dad a months worth of paychecks saved up.
DangerousCurves999

Jan 21 @ 6:56PM  
Congratulations on your daurghters wedding.

I just got my engagement ring last week after getting it resized. We went to about 35 stores in Seattle while on vacation after he dragged me into the first one in the mall by surprise.

He knows me well enough to know that I wanted something different but specific and I would know it when I saw it. And I did... 2nd case I looked in and I said "That's the One!". Platinum ring with a diamond shaped sapphire flanked by 6 small diamonds on each side arranged in a triangle pointing away from the sapphire towards the band.

He wasn't prepared to risk that ..."Oh thanks" comment and have me not wear it.
ladybootscooter

Jan 21 @ 9:00PM  
First wedding we picked out the rings together. It was probably the best day of our entire relationship. Going from store to store and trying on rings together until we found just the right ones. I've always preferred white gold to yellow and they were perfect! White gold with a swirl pattern, sitting atop the swirl was a cluster of diamonds. One large in the middle and six smaller ones surrounding it.

The second one, he had to go out of town for work so he gave me the money and had me go pick them out. He said all he asked is that if possible we go with Black hills Gold as it was his favorite. Little did he know I would pick out rings with pink roses! They were beautiful with pink roses, green and gold leaves with a half carat diamond on my engagment ring, which I did wear after we were married. In fact I had the rings (both sets) attached at the bottom with a small weld at the jewelers so they didn't turn separately on my finger!

ladybootscooter

Jan 21 @ 9:12PM  
Oh and if I wasn't so sick might have remembered to say Congrats to your beautiful daughter! I wish her much happiness!

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Before the Wedding and Honeymoon.... ;-)