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Are You the Type of Person Who Holds a Grudge?

posted 1/17/2011 10:09:28 PM |
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tagged: life, thoughts
  KitKat25

I've recently been trying to get my son to move forward with his life...but the G-word has been getting in his way a LOT.

You see...my son has recently re-connected with a long-lost family member who is very much wanting to be a part of his life. The problem is that my son can't seem to let go of the past...and grab onto the future.

Just to give you some background on the story...this person fell out my son's life back when he was very young...and although this person made repeated efforts to locate us...they were simply unsuccessful with their attempts.

Now I do understand how my son needs time to re-adjust to this new person in his life but IMO...he just doesn't seem to get the concept that life is way too short to be this petty...and we simply cannot predict the future. I'm really afraid that by him stonewalling this person now...he maybe losing some very valuable time with them in the here and now.

The situation with my son has really got me thinking about the whole topic of grudges in general. I've know many people who were never able to forgive and forget...people who were never able to let bygones be bygones...and people who were simply unable to start over with a clean slate. These kinds of situations really make me sad because I think they are a complete waste of time.

So how about it Pervia...Are you the type of person who holds a grudge?

Me? I used to hold grudges when I was younger...but as I got older...I found the whole situation a complete waste of time. For me...it was about the trust in our relationship being broken. I either learned to forgive and forget...or I ended the relationship. End of story. IMHO life is simply too short to get caught up in these kinds of feelings...and if you're really unable to trust the person again...and you don't want to give them another chance...why bother with the relationship at all?

Your turn...

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Comments:

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Wordsofwit

Jan 17 @ 10:18PM  
For me it is rarely the emotional issue of debating if I should forgive and forget. It is more a "so what", ignore and move on approach. Though perhaps not relevant in your son's case, in most issues with people in my past, the importance has come and gone.
sugarnspice005

Jan 17 @ 10:21PM  
Being young and hot headed...oh yeah, I'd hold onto grudges. I'll be the first to admit to that.

But, like you, as I've gotten older, I've come to see that as a waste of time and energy. There's more important things in life to focus on than staying mad at someone. Get over it..move on.
StraddleMyNose

Jan 17 @ 10:26PM  
Holding grudges can be like cancer. It can just eat you up inside. Life is way too short to hold them. It's not easy just letting things go sometimes, but I hope your son will come to realize this before he gets any older and it's too late.
selectusername

Jan 17 @ 10:29PM  
Grudges are fun! My ex-wife and I get together occasionally

for some good old fashioned grudge-fucking!
PinkToeNails

Jan 17 @ 10:46PM  
Yeah... I tend to hold a grudge for a long time sometimes...................................but there's nothing better than a good grudge fuck sometimes to help me get past it either!
KitKat25

Jan 17 @ 10:50PM  
Ahem...I love a good grudge fucking too ...but that's not what this blog is about.
orzie

Jan 17 @ 11:17PM  
Hi Cupcake
Dont love the grudge but the grudge loves me.
just all the bloggies who have me on block......lol
lunanegra

Jan 17 @ 11:42PM  
No.
somnium

Jan 17 @ 11:43PM  
Are you the type of person who holds a grudge?

Naww... it's silly- waste of time and emotions- doesn't accomplish zip and just causes more grief... what's the point??


soft_touch938

Jan 18 @ 12:31AM  
I don't hold grudges...I don't have that long of an attention span.... But....if someone piss me off and gets on my bad side, I won't forget it and I will adjust the way I receive and/or approach that person from then on and I'll never trust them again.

But stay angry at them? I don't have the time or energy for that.
RevDocLove

Jan 18 @ 7:10AM  
I'm with Softie on this issue
KitKat25

Jan 18 @ 7:41AM  
But....if someone piss me off and gets on my bad side, I won't forget it and I will adjust the way I receive and/or approach that person from then on and I'll never trust them again.
Perhaps my definition is different from Softie's and RevDoc's definition. I've always felt that when someone holds a grudge against another person...they don't necessarily stay angry at that person forever...but they simply won't forgive and forget...or ever trust the person again.
sharedwifeinmo

Jan 18 @ 8:43AM  
For me, it depends on how I was wronged. I try not to sweat the petty stuff, instead petting the sweaty stuff.

In a ll seriousness, I still have a major grudge against a few people who's wrongs have cost me the most. Other than that, once a wrong has been made right, it is usually done and over with...and sometimes laughed about together later.
PeachyKeen

Jan 18 @ 2:06PM  
Generally I do not hold grudges... as many have stated it's a waste of time and energy. However, if the action is a betrayal of trust, I do not factor that person into my life any longer. I have been able to forgive, but it usually takes time and the relationship is not ever the same.
Wordsofwit

Jan 18 @ 2:47PM  
they simply won't forgive and forget...or ever trust the person again.

I think that is a common theme combined with banishment from the individual's life, if possible. It does get to be problematic when it involves a family member (which it often does), of course.

What can disturb me and some others I know, is others pushing for reconciliation when we have made our decisions/judgments and are not interested in reconciliation with the offending party.
shellsmack

Jan 18 @ 8:00PM  
Heck no, I'm as easy going as they come. Whatever it is will happen an hour ago and the next I'm not understanding why you're still upset.

Work it out, deal with it upfront and move on!!
RJ53

Jan 20 @ 1:56AM  
The only person you are making miserable when you hold a grudge is yourself.

On the other hand if someone screws me over once I am not stupid enough to put myself in a position where they can do it again. That is not holding a grudge that is just not being an idiot.
RevDocLove

Jan 20 @ 8:17AM  
I've always felt that when someone holds a grudge against another person...they don't necessarily stay angry at that person forever...but they simply won't forgive and forget...or ever trust the person again.

Kat, after rereading Softie's answer and your requote several times,I do believe that your opinion and ours is almost exactly the same

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Are You the Type of Person Who Holds a Grudge?