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Redneck's Letter From Mama

posted 1/13/2011 10:32:33 PM |
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  RevDocLove


Dearest Son

I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home, so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address because the last
Gander family that lived here took the house numbers
when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice.
It even has a washing machine.
I'm not sure about it.
I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain.
We haven't seen them since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

Auntie Maude has sent you a pair of socks she knit,
she put a third one in because she heard you have grown
another foot since she last saw you.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Jimmy locked his keys in the car yesterday.
We were really worried because it took him two hours
to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Bobby fell into a whiskey vat last week.
Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.
Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back.
They drowned because they couldn't get
the tailgate down.

There isn't much more news at this time.
Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

Your Favorite Aunt,

Mom


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Comments:

post a comment!

LadyRamRod

Jan 13 @ 11:22PM  
I like that one doc, have a kudo on me
hog77297

Jan 13 @ 11:51PM  
I've heard it before, but it made me laugh again this time too!!
tassie1

Jan 14 @ 4:42AM  
Your Favorite Aunt,

Mom

is that WOW standing on hiss head again ?
sugarnspice005

Jan 14 @ 10:45AM  
An oldie but still good!!
KitKat25

Jan 14 @ 12:59PM  
I've seen this one before...and it was just as funny the second time around. Thanks Doc.
LadyRamRod

Jan 14 @ 10:25PM  
Silly aussie, you really crack me up tassie

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Redneck's Letter From Mama