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Jeff Foxworthy knows Michigan

posted 1/11/2011 4:39:12 PM |
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tagged: humor

I just got this in a forward from my sister and some....oh ok!! Most of it is so true I had to laugh!

Are you aware that Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan?
R ead on. (Pretty funny and accurate!!)

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, and you know the owner, you might live in Michigan.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan.

If someone in a store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you might live in Michigan.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you
Might live in Michigan..

If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan.

You know you're a true MICHIGANIAN/MICHIGANDER when:

1. "Vacation" means going up north on I-75.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10.Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11.You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
12.You can identify a southern or eastern accent.
13.Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
14.You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
15.Down South to you means Ohio.
16.A brat is something you eat.
17.Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.
18.You go out to fish fry every Friday.
19..Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
20.You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21.You find 0 degrees "a little chilly".
22.You drink pop and bake with soda.
23.Your doctor tells you to drink Verniers and you know it's not medicine.
24.You can actually drink Verniers without coughing.
25.You know what a Yooper is.
26.You think owning a Honda is Un-American.
27You know that UP is a place, not a direction.
28.You know it's possible to live in a thumb.
29.You understand that when visiting Detroit , the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.
30.You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Michigan friends!

And y'all thought I was strange when I called soda "pop".

disclaimer: this is posted for FUN no grumpiness allowed.

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post a comment!


Jan 11 @ 4:50PM  
Those are pretty good.

Jan 11 @ 5:13PM  
Heck, I'm from Colorado and now live in Texas and there were still a bunch of those I can't agree with.

Jan 11 @ 6:02PM  
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan.

Same here in Philly

"Vacation" means going up north on I-75.

I love vacationing in the UP

And y'all thought I was strange when I called soda "pop".

You also forgot to mention buying your milk in bags.

Jan 11 @ 9:13PM  
i moved to michigan from Los Angeles.... and again suffered culture shock.

I drank Soda, got offended when the boy, pumping my gas called me Mam...
I don't think he had a sarcastic bone in his body... and was afraid of little bitty me... Pissed off at perceived slur and dressed in leathers.
Had to to try all the funny named beers... like Blatz!
I did not know how to play Euchre... still don't...Was treated like a slow cousin for that one.
Had the information operator correct my pronunciation not once but twice..
When trying to get a # in Milan... not the Italian city apparently, but MY Lan!
Also, not Lima like peru... but more like the bean...

But had people stop to help me without provocation or harm in their heart.

All and all, if other parts of my life hadn't been such a Black Hole of pain, I might have adapted.

Jan 11 @ 9:56PM  
Oh... and when I moved there... I hadn't been or driven in snow for 6 years...
and drove 30mi to Jackson... fountain of culture and education... in penal code!

I didn't own a coat... other than my leathers... and motorcycle boots...

Good thing that was before I grew Tits... or I would have froze them off

Jan 13 @ 8:03AM  
15.Down South to you means Ohio.
Could be worse. We have Kentucky!

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Jeff Foxworthy knows Michigan