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posted 1/8/2011 2:30:12 AM |
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  sawduster

I got in tonight to see my bro and talked to his night nurse. Took him some books, and talked with him a little. I could see an improvement in him with just the oxygen, the blue tinge to his feet and fingers was gone. He seemed to have a little more strength to his voice as well.

Still don't know all of what is wrong, but COPD, emphysema, depression, muscle deterioration, lost appetite, possible pneumonia, and I have little to no idea of what else, are are good candidates for his present situation.

Some people may deride me for not doing this sooner, but until you have lived with him, go suck a rock. It took him getting to this point for me to be able to do it. It may be too little too late, but it has been his decision up until now. No matter what I said or suggested, he either blew me off as always since I didn't know what I was talking about, or he didn't want to see no friggin doctor that would just tell him he needed to quit smoking and yada yada yada. And that was when he was just being nice.

Well, Friday morning, I had to do something and called 911, told them it wasn't life threatening, but my brother had to get to the hospital, one way or another. When the emergency crew showed up, he didn't fight, but he wasn't overly happy to be going. So finally, if he will give up the pity party he has been having, maybe he can get out and do something this year besides lay in bed and deteriorate the way he has been. And he is bad. His muscles have atrophied to the point he looks like he is starving to death. And I know, he is going to fight tooth and nail over any form of physical therapy to get any tone back or strength.

This is just brief glimpses of what is going on, but those of you that have dealt with similar situations know what is going on, those of you that haven't, well, one day it may slap ya in the face, so be prepared for a very rough time for a while anyway. There are no instant cures for something that has been building for years. It is going to take time, and he has to put in the effort to get better, if he doesn't, my next step will be to have to place him in a nursing home, under heavy protest i'm sure.

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Comments:

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RJ53

Jan 8 @ 4:53AM  
I am glad your brother is doing better. Hope he continues in that direction.
Wordsofwit

Jan 8 @ 5:03AM  
Hopefully his attitude changes and he gets proactive. How old is he?
Lisa46

Jan 8 @ 8:59AM  
Sorry to hear about him Saw, isn't he the one we met at the MD cookout? I wish you lots of luck. I know if someone don't want to do something it is so hard to make them. I'll say a prayer for you guys
sawduster

Jan 8 @ 9:11AM  
my bro is 69, and one other thing that doesn't help, chronic depression runs in our family. i seem to have bypassed the worst of it, but depression does hit me at times. but i don't just shut down and wait for the end to find me. as long as i have a brain that functions to some extent, and there is something to see or do that i want to try if at all possible, i keep going in one direction or another, or try to anyway.

and because of a misunderstanding with someone on the other side of the fence here, unless i point out who a specific comment is pointed at, don't take personally anything i say. diplomacy or being nice just leaves idiots room to misconstrue what i'm saying too often. so i try to keep it simple for them. saves me explaining later.
DoctorFunkenstein

Jan 8 @ 11:30AM  
Some people may deride me for not doing this sooner, but until you have lived with him, go suck a rock.

All too often advice comes from those that have never really been in a situation. Video-game playing morons believe they know everything about combat, and people who have seen a few episodes of "House" are pleased to give all sorts of medical advice.

The real truth of it all is that caring for those who you love is a deeply personal event and you have to balance your feelings with medical practice, and often enough those two things are at odds with one another.

If anything, the youngsters should be paying closer attention. It's so easy to ignore that in thirty or forty short years they will be in your brother's bed, and they will be wishing for a caregiver like you.
sugarnspice005

Jan 8 @ 6:05PM  

Some people may deride me for not doing this sooner, but until you have lived with him

Not me..I wouldn't "deride" anyone in that situation. Like I said, I saw what Mick went through with his mother, and, it's a judgment call on when to do what YOU feel is right. I don't know how it is in your area, but, here, I remember Mick taking his mother in against her wishes, and when she got to the hospital, she refused treatment, said nothing was wrong..and, doctors let her go home. Doctors told him that as long as she was well enough to make that call herself, they have to honor it. You are doing your best, remember that.

If you really want him placed in a nursing home, may I suggest getting guardianship over his care. Otherwise, you take him there, and he's the one who can call the shots, as soon as he says he doesn't want to be there, they have to let him leave. But, if a guardian puts him in there, he can holler all he wants, but, he can't leave unless you say he can.

I wish you and your brother the best. What you have done for him is wonderful. But it sounds like it may be time for him to have 24/7 medical help.
redbronze

Jan 9 @ 1:04AM  
Those are hard shoes to walk in, sounds like he is just biding his time and in his head I can almost bet he is dead already..

This time for him to be in the hospital will give you time to think and the suggestions I have read here so far are good ones if you can get power of attorney guardianship what ever this would be good also a living will of sorts so he can tell the docs what he wants and expects.

He is not that old really but we are each walking our own path towards death and who are we to sit in judgement of anyone. Even Christians are supposed to believe that God has final judgement and that no man is supposed to.. Smile.. Remind em I hope I have..

You have and are doing the best in your situation if some one says anything then they need to buck up move into your place and walk in your shoes... We are human and many of us have not delt with life in all of its ugly and messy ways... We trudge or plow along to the best of our ability because there is no class on any of this..

Maybe it is what we should be teaching in school how to be born, live, and die in society... Smile Cyber hugs to you for doing the best you can in a difficult situation....
RJ53

Jan 9 @ 2:19AM  
As my mother's caretaker for the last 11 years, I know it is not east to care for someone who is ill and depressed. All you can do is the best you can on a day to day basis. I had to finally go to court to get a guardianship over my mother to force her into physical therapy after her fall. I hope they can do something to help him. They might be able to do something for his depression which will help with the rest of his treatment.
RJ53

Jan 9 @ 2:20AM  
As my mother's caretaker for the last 11 years, I know it is not east to care for someone who is ill and depressed. All you can do is the best you can on a day to day basis. I had to finally go to court to get a guardianship over my mother to force her into physical therapy after her fall. I hope they can do something to help him. They might be able to do something for his depression which will help with the rest of his treatment.
theSkwirl

Jan 9 @ 8:20PM  
All I got for ya is hugs babes.. I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.. and that he's going through it. All too often depression is the end of life determination. They might could go on but if they don't have the will there isn't any way to make them.

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