AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

Joke don't judge just laugh!

posted 12/23/2010 7:00:51 PM |
2 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
  hog77297





1) I'd just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said 'I' haven't eaten for two days' I told him 'I wish I had your f**king will power'.


2) Top tip; if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next tent tells you that because it's so hot she will be sleeping with her flaps open, it's not necessarily an invitation to casual sex............. Wish me luck; I appear in court next Monday.


3) I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.. Apparently the instruction 'finish off on her face' didn't mean what I thought it did.


4) A fat girl served me food in McDonald's at lunch time. She said 'sorry about the wait.' I said 'don't worry Chubby, you're bound to lose it eventually.'


5) Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance with a face like that!"


6) I have a new pick up line that works every time. It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'


7) Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since almost all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!



8) I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were not the correct answers



Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by hog77297:
Damn Red Tape
Redneck Holywater
The Bear!!
Winning the prize!!
A LOVE STORY?
Joke don't judge just laugh!
Ed&Sam!!!
OH My heart bleeds for this guy!
Doing the laundry!
The End Of The World!


Comments:

post a comment!

hog77297

Dec 23 @ 7:25PM  
Ok so you can all give me hell for this one!
PinkToeNails

Dec 23 @ 7:32PM  
You are such a bad boy Hog!


redbronze

Dec 23 @ 7:40PM  
tick tick tick deafning silence... GRIN..... but ya know each and everyone of us who read this, at least one joke here has made us laugh.. Smile.... Dare guess which one for each person who responds LOL...
sugarnspice005

Dec 23 @ 7:59PM  
Got a chuckle out of this one:

3) I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.. Apparently the instruction 'finish off on her face' didn't mean what I thought it did.

PinkToeNails

Dec 23 @ 8:03PM  
I pick this one............

7) Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since almost all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works best!


Just cause I love to be politically incorrect some times! And I wouldn't have to share my bacon! .............
sharedwifeinmo

Dec 23 @ 8:09PM  
6) I have a new pick up line that works every time. It doesn't matter how gorgeous or out of my league a woman might be, this line is a winner & I always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'

I think I might have to use this one!

Huge kudo!
sharedwifeinmo

Dec 23 @ 8:11PM  
Of course, I would be using it on unattainable men...
hog77297

Dec 23 @ 8:26PM  
Ok Then Share, I'm not in the least bit interested.
redbronze

Dec 23 @ 9:22PM  
8... could also read potheads and hookers.... Smile... Cells......
Wordsofwit

Dec 23 @ 9:52PM  
I can't believe that you posted those.
aftershox

Dec 23 @ 10:41PM  
Um.. I guess you aren;t trying to impress Santa Claus.

Some made me chuckle, some made me groan.
NightOfOld

Dec 24 @ 1:25AM  

Quote

Of course, I would be using it on unattainable men...




Who says I'm unattainable ?
justme4u

Dec 24 @ 4:18AM  
tassie1

Dec 24 @ 5:16AM  
I reckon they're all thigh slappers
kudo's for the laughs
PeachyKeen

Dec 24 @ 9:31AM  
Not being a Saint has it's advantages!

I'm with Shoxie on this one... a few smiles and a few groans.

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB01
Joke don't judge just laugh!