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I Sold My Soul To Dr. Seuss

posted 12/13/2010 4:00:09 PM |
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  theSkwirl

I’m shortish

and oldish

and cranky and grumpy

my knees have grown crooked

and shaped rather lumpy.

It hurts when I walk

it hurts when I sit

it hurts when I lay down, roll over or s*it!

My heart palpitates when I over exert

the corns on my toes are much older than dirt.

My breasts are all saggy

and jiggly and floppy.

My belly is jelly

all wiggly and gloppy.

My ears are all clogged

my eyes full of clouds

if you want me to hear you

you’ll have to yell loud.

My back is all twisted

my gait kinda skwiggly

my butt is enormous

and all higgly piggly.

My hair’s turning greyish

and getting all poofy.

My teeth are all falling out

and I look quite goofy.

So what can I offer

to the young and all knowing?

To the folks whose wild oats

are just waiting for sowing?

I offer a shoulder that’s soft for your tears

the wisdom of living half one hundred years.

I offer my place in the race with the rats.

I offer a brass ring for young folks to grasp.

I lay down my seeking for fortune and fame,

I lay down my need to make myself a name.

So, while you’re out racing the rats in the maze,

I will look on with a curious gaze.

But, if you think in that game I will play?

I got news for you, I don’t play that way.

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by theSkwirl:
My Dearest Baby Brother.,, :P
Merry Christmas and Harpy Nude Rear
The Case of the Ancient Arm Eater
Taz: the little ball of fluff that could. (another pet story)
A Charley Horse! (a pet blog)
I Sold My Soul To Dr. Seuss
Two things.. a thank you and a story.
The Infamous Carrot Fiasco, and other stories
Lessons Learned (yeah another remeniscence)
Crocus for Grandma


Comments:

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Wordsofwit

Dec 13 @ 4:37PM  
cute
funnywhapper

Dec 13 @ 5:01PM  
bravo/encore..ole' o'lay...now for your magic beans trick...
sawduster

Dec 13 @ 5:46PM  
i'm with you skwirl girl. no more rat race for me.
RJ53

Dec 13 @ 6:42PM  
Love it.
redbronze

Dec 13 @ 7:09PM  
This is the BEST thing I have ever read... Love it...
onehornytoad69

Dec 13 @ 7:15PM  
Good one!! There's a lot of truth in all that!
lunanegra

Dec 13 @ 7:30PM  
ksk72

Dec 13 @ 8:49PM  
Awesome...green thingy to you
theSkwirl

Dec 13 @ 9:31PM  
Duster, you .. me... rockin chairs.. you in?

Glad y'all enjoyed my insane rantings.
B9CC1D

Dec 13 @ 9:37PM  
But will you stay the night if I make you green eggs the next morning?
padreroyalataol

Dec 13 @ 9:53PM  
That was T-riffic ...
I hope you and yours have a "cool yule"
R.
sharedwifeinmo

Dec 13 @ 11:53PM  
Love it!
soft_touch938

Dec 14 @ 1:03AM  
How'd you see my REAL picture Skwirly Girl???

Good writin' from one jelly belly to another....nutz to ya!!!
sugarnspice005

Dec 14 @ 7:01PM  
Very good!

Here's a green nut for ya.
tassie1

Dec 21 @ 4:56AM  
I'm gonna steal that and send it to my momma
PeachyKeen

Dec 21 @ 1:14PM  
Fantastic Skwirl!
Be sure B9CC1D gives you some ham with the green eggs.

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I Sold My Soul To Dr. Seuss