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I Had A Dream...
posted 12/3/2010 12:33:30 AM |
I had a dream about you peeps last night...and I thought I would share it in Pervia this evening.
My dream began like this...
I was sitting at the breakfast table...and
was manning the stove. I could smell the bacon before I saw it...but then he turned around and I just about fell out of my chair.
I don't know how many pounds of bacon he cooked up...but I guarantee you that it was more than any 1 person could ever eat.
While I was contemplating an easy way to tell
how there was no way in hell I could eat that much bacon...
walked in from her night on the town. She was still talking about duct tape and pipes...and how they make her horny
slid into the chair beside me...and began talking to me about the pitfalls of vanilla sex. I admitted to her that I really wasn't as bendy as I used to be...and that one guy at time was all I could handle these days.
I last saw
exiting out the back door...and they were still talking about sex.
sauntered over to the table carrying a yummy cup of coffee...that's when I noticed
. She was busy looking in closets...and underneath furniture.
When I asked who she was looking for...she said "
...have you seen him"? I then admitted to
...that I wouldn't be much help to her since I'd never seen
face...and if he had taken the blue shirt off he was wearing in his latest picture...I would be absolutely no help at all.
That's when I heard the click...clack...click...clack...of some very sassy red pumps...as the owner entered the kitchen.
quickly sat down and began talking about her grandchildren. However...halfway through her tale...she noticed
still searching for
. That's when she said..."
to the store to get some more bacon (WTF!
) and that he would be back shortly".
relaxed at this point...and then quickly asked
if she wanted to go for a walk.
said she did...but that she would need to change into her sneakers for that type of journey. Once
were gone...I continued to admire
sassy red pumps until I just couldn't help myself any longer...and I simply had to try a pair on.
I couldn't believe my luck! They actually fit...and they were super comfy as well.
eye-balled my new footwear...and then quickly told me that
didn't share her pumps with ANYONE...so I'd better be taking those pumps off before
returned from her walk. I looked at
and began to pout
...but then I decided he was right...and returned the pumps to the place that
had put them before she left.
This is where my dream gets a little weird.
magically appeared and told
she'd love a cup of coffee. When
sat down next to me...I found myself looking into the face of a beautiful cat.
Now even though I was asleep...I knew a cat's face did not belong on a woman's body...so I quickly got up...and headed for the living room...fast.
That's when I encountered
. He was busy working on one of his famous roasts. When I tried to get him to divulge the next roast-of-honor...he was quite secretive
and said I would find out later that week.
That's when I noticed some really nice tunes coming from the den. I popped my head around the corner...and there was
. She was completely engrossed in my collection of CD's and records. I think she even liked some of my collection...but I did catch a few eye rolls right before I decided to leave and go outside.
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Dec 3 @ 12:35AM
had promised to pop over and fix a leak I had discovered in my garage earlier that week...and I wanted to see if he was able to fix it. Upon my approach...I could hear several male voices talking. That's when I happened upon
. They were all busy yapping (yes...guys can yap too
) about whose motorcycle was the fastest. Apparently...
was the deciding vote in this debate.
if he had fixed my leak yet. He quickly told me how he had gotten distracted...and that he would take care of it right now. When I left...
were still sharing motorcycle stories...I mean...fantasies.
As I was walking to my car...I heard a noise coming from the workshop. I peeked in the window and spotted
hard at work on another one of his masterpieces. I was going to talk to him for a moment...but that's when I saw the sign on the door.
It said: I only want to be bothered for sex. If ya ain't offering sex...don't bother knocking.
You don't have to tell these chick-a-dee twice.
On that note...I hopped into my car and headed over to
. Last week...
had graciously volunteered to give me a pedicure. When I arrived...
was there too. We gabbed for a few minutes and then
said it was time to choose my nail color. Well...to make a long story short...she thought pink was the best color...but
felt red was the way to go. In the end...I decided to compromise...so when I left
house...the toenails on my right foot were pink...and the toenails on my left foot were red. My fingernails were purple...but that's a whole other story.
While on my way back to my house...I spotted
trying to round up her dogs. I noticed that two dogs were already loose and giving her a run for her money...when I looked up and saw another two dogs sitting on top of the roof.
When I rolled down my window and asked if I could help her...she told me that I hadn't seen nothing yet. That's when she informed me that dog #5 was in the house preparing to give birth to another litter of puppies.
She then proceeded to ask if I wanted one of the puppies after they were weened. I told her I would think about it...and then I quickly rolled up my window and speed away.
When I was 2 blocks away from the house...I noticed
busy in the park looking for nuts. In fact...I'm pretty sure I passed her on the way to
house...so I'm thinking she spent the whole dream looking for nuts...and although she seemed to have lots and lots of nuts...she still wanted more.
Since she had a very determined look on her face that let you know that she meant business...and because I knew it was best to leave a foraging
alone...I continued past the park...and arrived back at my house.
On my way into the house...I passed
...who was busy setting up a telescope in my front yard. I stopped to ask him what he was going to be looking at later...and he just smiled slyly and said..."You'll see".
I walked in the front door...and that's when I saw
working on my computer.
When he saw me...he stopped and got onto me for surfing unsafe websites. Yanno...porn sites.
When I tried to explain to him about how my curiosity got the best of me one evening...and how I was checking out a new sex position
...he didn't seem to care since I had inadvertently caught a few computer bugs in the process. When I promised not to do it again (while crossing my fingers behind my back
)...he decided to give me a break...and to finish fixing my computer.
When I popped my head into the kitchen to take a peek around...I discovered it was full of peeps. However...this time it was
who was busy cooking. She was making yummy Frye bread for everyone...while rocking out to Ozzie Osborne.
All I can say is...the bread smelled delicious...and I loved her colorful tie dye shirt.
When dinner was ready...all the Pervians I had seen that day...were right there in my kitchen...and we were all sitting down to have a super delish meal.
During my absence...
had dropped by. He started passing out bruskies
...and crackin' jokes as usual. Of course...when he mentioned the joke about the moles...I've never seen a room clear out faster.
It was truly amazing. However...I really think most of the peeps left because they had simply finished their meals...and they needed to get home to their families.
At this point...I realized just how tired I really was...and I decided it was time to call it a day. As I pulled the beautifully handmade quilt that
had made for me up over my shoulders...I wondered what my dream would be about this time...before I nodded off to sleep.
But then I woke up...and I could swear I smelled bacon in the air.
Dec 3 @ 2:40AM
...I seriously doubt Ynot saunters...but hey...it was your dream. Mine???...wasn't a dream.....Shane Battier was at Bardog and he was looking pretty! I said hi cause I used to wait on his girlfriend and he years ago at Grisanti's...they are now married...she is a cuttey pattutie and her name is Heidi...anywho...I had a fun night at work and after and am still trying to figure out how Aftershox and I got your leaked fixed being that I wan't even in the vacinity of Bacon!...oh yeah...Usher will be in the house on the 29th....do I care...not really...but, hey...he is pretty too!
Dec 3 @ 2:53AM
...so I am gathering that you are feeling better?! I am so excited you shared. I was downstairs trying to cram some food in my mouth since I had nothing to eat today and just rangled up a message as I was reading. Between you and Night and Rj and Dangerous Curves I have no idea...oh yeah and Softie...who the fuck is more talented...Sugar stands out as well. Hey I love you kids and all your skills. We all have something to share and you tied it up in a big bow and let us have it. What a read...that was great....hugs...thanks for a fun end to my night and am glad you are kicking it with us. M
Dec 3 @ 3:21AM
Now,.... I'm wanting some bacon and fry-bread!!! WTF?
So..ummmm did I get your leak fixed? Or did I cause you too,... get wetter?
A Very Creative and fun read!
Dec 3 @ 4:08AM
they never could handle a good joke
Dec 3 @ 4:49AM
I loved your story, Kat!
If I could give you 10 kudos I would! You're a very talented writer!
Dec 3 @ 7:51AM
Great dream Kat!!! Very vivid!!!
I seriously doubt Ynot saunters
bunny just kills me!!
Dec 3 @ 11:40AM
Of course...when he mentioned the joke about the moles...
What a coincidence... he must have been making light of my Mole Hill Manor I have going on in my back yard and now seems to be branching off to my neighbor's front yard!
An interesting and read Kat!
Kudo for you!
Dec 3 @ 11:42AM
An interesting and read Kat!
Oops... should have read: An interesting and fun read Kat!
Dec 3 @ 2:03PM
Hey Kat, it was a good read but all I want to know is if DKW and OHT ever admited I had not only the fastest but also the best looking bike!!
Kudo for a great read!!
Dec 3 @ 4:29PM
Here's a pretty green nut, just for you! You gotta lay off the twinkies before bed if this is the kinda stuff you're dreaming about.. I'm jus sayin.
Dec 3 @ 8:21PM
That's one heckuva dream there Kit!
btw...no worry about my dog having any more puppies...both males are fixed here...and there is NO WAY any of the females are allowed out of the fenced yard when they are in heat.
Dec 3 @ 8:54PM
You were really a busy girl in that dream, liked it
Dec 4 @ 7:37AM
ohh I am a cat lady and you should see ynot eat bacon
I hope you had enough for your dinner. Great story I loved it here's your cookie
Dec 6 @ 9:45AM
Very cute blog. I have a feeling I had better get some more flour.
Dec 6 @ 10:41AM
What a dream!!!!
That was just great...
Dec 6 @ 12:35PM
yano this is great but most know that was NOT bacon you were staring at when i turned round....
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I Had A Dream...