Ears:
While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job
that should be done in private using one's own
truck keys. (NOTE: Keys must also be cleaned
regularly, because ear wax buildup can
short circuit a starter switch.)
Brushing & Flossing
Scientists have proven that the use of a toothbrush
(and toothpaste when available) can help people
keep their teeth into their thirties and even beyond.
Dental floss, the modern equivalent of broom straw,
is also helpful. A lightweight monofilament
fishing line works just as well. Remove lures first.
Manicures and Pedicures:
Dirt and grease under the nails is a social no no,
as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry
and alter the taste of finger foods.
Corns and calluses can be removed using
a common potato peeler, remember never
to cut against the grain.
Hair Care
(FOR MEN)
Contrary to popular belief, dandruff is
not an incurable disease. Rubbing motor oil
into the scalp once a week will turn the flakes dark
and then they will not be noticeable.
If you can't afford hair tonic, brake fluid
holds the hair in place and gives it
a dark, Elvis like sheen.
(FOR WOMEN)
While a tall hive of hair is the current rage,
it can be an open invitation to bees and hornets.
A 50/50 mixture of Black Flag and hairspray
can prove to be a girl's best summertime friend.
Driving
When approaching a four way stop,
remember that the vehicle with the largest
tires always has the right of way.
When sending your wife down the
road with a gas can, remember that it is
impolite to ask her to bring back a beer.
Remember that the median
is not a passing lane.
Never tow another car using
panty hose and duct tape.
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read more blogs!
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sawduster
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Dec 2 @ 12:31PM
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the ear wax does help lube the tumblers in the switch, but when the weather turns cold, it could jam them, so clean keys immediately after cleaning ears.
tooth picks serve a similar purpose, and give you something to chew on too.
a random orbital sander also works on corns and callouses, with less likelihood of cutting the affected area. do be careful tho and not use 40 grit, as a slip with that and you will remove several layers of skin as well. belt sanders are another option for this.
go-jo also works not only to clean the hair, but the lanolin in it provides hold and gives it that sheen. then just rinse it out once a week in the creek, and reapply.
asking her bring back a beer might be impolite, but she should know to being a six pack back without being asked or told. and a case if she gets a ride back. that way you at least get the six pack, or close to it hopefully, unless it is a long way back.
strong as pantyhose and duct tape are, this is not a good idea, children should be taught from 2 grade up, to always chack for a tow rope, a gas can, and ammo before leaving the house for any reason in a vehicle. and make sure the ammo is for the weapon on board.
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1bunny629
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Dec 2 @ 1:13PM
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 ...try not to enjoy the second chewing of build up that your filament removes...it makes the little woman feel like she hasn't fed you well.... 
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onehornytoad69
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Dec 2 @ 5:12PM
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Cute!!! 
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sugarnspice005
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Dec 2 @ 5:13PM
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Those were funny!!!!!!
Driving
When approaching a four way stop,
remember that the vehicle with the largest
tires always has the right of way.
Never tow another car using
panty hose and duct tape.
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StraddleMyNose
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Dec 2 @ 6:15PM
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theSkwirl
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Dec 2 @ 6:47PM
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It's just like home in here! DAyum..
However, balin wire is a good alternative to pantyhose when towing.. just use several strands and braid em.
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PinkToeNails
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Dec 2 @ 6:55PM
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go-jo also works not only to clean the hair, but the lanolin in it provides hold and gives it that sheen. then just rinse it out once a week in the creek, and reapply.
go-jo is some awesome shit!!!!!!!
I have had to use it on my hair before though....... BUT.. it was to get pine sap out of my hair after pruning a few hundred Christmas trees. .... 
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LadyRamRod
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Dec 2 @ 6:58PM
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Silly ole mr. hog good one
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tassie1
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Dec 3 @ 4:19AM
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Never tow another car using
panty hose and duct tape.
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shyguy140
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Dec 3 @ 2:23PM
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Got a good laugh from this one
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