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Thangs To Think About

posted 11/30/2010 12:02:15 AM |
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Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

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Nov 30 @ 12:18AM  
darn, i was just getting my mind settled down and now ya gone an made me think again. so, i think i'm gonna go fix some capt and coke. enough of that and i won't be thinking about anything.

Nov 30 @ 12:43AM  
...I had an answer for all of those, but I think I forgot what I remembered I was gonna say does the body good...but they don't say anything about the brain....oh....HA! the lisp thing...would it be easier if it was a lith....

Nov 30 @ 1:23AM  
...oh...HA! woodchicks chuck wood???

Nov 30 @ 2:47AM  
If 7-11 is open 24 hrs, why are there locks on the doors?

Why does a light switch say off and on? If it is on, you can see it is on, and if it is off, it's too dark to read.

Nov 30 @ 6:42AM  
Santa jolly cause he knows where all the bad girls lives hope Mrs. Claus dosen't find out . Is that why santa is always ho ho hoing ?

Nov 30 @ 6:57AM  
Cute!!! Some.... very good ones there!!!

Nov 30 @ 8:58AM  
7-11 have locks on the door so they can lock up while the police investigate the latest robbery/shooting.

Nov 30 @ 9:51AM  

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

I've wondered about that too.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Politely ask the opposite side if it's ok to bomb them?

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Thangs To Think About