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North & South

posted 11/27/2010 11:58:27 PM |
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  hog77297

The difference between the North and the South - at last,
clearly explained....

The North
has Bloomingdale's , the South has Dollar General .

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses .
The North has dating services, the South has family
reunions.

The North has switchblade knives; the South has .45's

The North has double last names; the South has double first
names.

The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races
.

North has Cream of Wheat , the South has grits.

The North has green salads, the South has collard greens .


The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish .

The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt .


FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH . . ....

In the South : --If you run your car into a ditch,
don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck
with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to
help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they
live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in
the same store... Do not buy food at this store.

Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all
y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's'
is plural possessive

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are
ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed
later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are
saying. They can't understand you either. The first
Southern statement to creep into a transplanted
Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective
'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy.
Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect
this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper
pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper
.

Be advised that 'He needed killin..' is a valid
defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch
this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely
to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even
the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required
at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether
you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own
shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas
taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a
lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a
driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the
South and bear children, don't think we will accept
them as Southerners.. After all, if the cat had kittens in
the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em
biscuits.

Tell this to four people that ain't related to you, and
I reckon your life will turn into a country music song
'fore you know it.

Your kin would get a kick out of it too!

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Comments:

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RJ53

Nov 28 @ 12:13AM  
Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own
shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas
taught them how to aim

Make that my grandmother and you have that right. That deer is not going to walk up and plop itself on the table for dinner.

Add to it that southern accents are like a contagious disease and once you catch it is almost impossible to be cured.
1bunny629

Nov 28 @ 12:14AM  
...You don't say...ha! Ima tellin Paw.... ...your gonna make some good eatin!
themama

Nov 28 @ 12:20AM  
Ain't that the truth>>>>>
onehornytoad69

Nov 28 @ 6:21AM  
Good ones!!!
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in
the same store... Do not buy food at this store.
Oh no...this is soooo wrong!!!
Hey Pink...whats the name of that.....Convenience Store/Bait shop/Video store/Gas station/Restaurant...that you took me to...that had the Most awesome Burgers/Food?
sugarnspice005

Nov 28 @ 6:09PM  
If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even
the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required
at the local grocery store. It doesn't matter whether
you need anything or not. You just have to go there.
[QUOTE]

Do they get out the snow blowers for it too? What's the worry anyway? Up here in the North, need a prediction of at least 5 inches of snow to warm up the old snow blower.
69oak69

Nov 29 @ 5:18PM  
I must be living in a different North, or maybe central Illinois is part of the South?
PinkToeNails

Nov 29 @ 6:33PM  
Well ya'll know the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale.....

northern fairly tale begins.... Once upon a time............

southern fairly tale........................Ya'll ain't gonna believe this shit!!!



Hey Alex.... that was JB's Country Store.......... and they DO have great food!
KitKat25

Nov 29 @ 7:54PM  
Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all
y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's'
is plural possessive
I have no idea why the ^^^ above still confuses so many people.

This post was a hoot. Thanks so much for posting it Hog.

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North & South