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Good Daughter

posted 11/25/2010 12:14:58 AM |
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tagged: parent, thanksgiving, holidays

I have always tried to be a good person. Sometimes, it's really, really hard! I find the older I get, the less likely I am to take crap from anyone- and I'm more apt to make my opinion known instead of remaining quiet and not rocking the boat.
Three weeks ago, my dad fell in the garage and shattered his elbow. He had surgery during which the doctor did a total elbow replacement. He did great during the surgery, and was moved to the hospital's two-week rehab program, and things were going great- until he slipped into a coma this past Saturday!
My son and I stopped by to visit my dad Saturday morning around 11 a.m. We got in his room and the first thing we hear was him snoring! I mean, REALLY snorning! His eyes were closed but they would flutter open. My mom is co-manager of the hospital gift shop, so my son and I went down to tell her dad was asleep and that we didn't want to wake him, so we just left. Mom encouraged us to go back upstairs and wake dad up. She said he'd be disappointed to miss a visit with his grandson!
So we headed back up to dad's room. Still the same scenario. He's crashed out, snorning like a machine. I touch his foot saying, "Hi dad!" No response. I move up to the head of the bed and shake his shoulder, saying, "Dad, it's Sam and I. We came to visit you!" Dad's eyes fluttered open, and he seemed to be looking at my son, but he closed his eyes without saying anything.
So we went back down to the giftshop and told my mom that he just wasn't waking up. We had a bunch of errands to run that day, so my son and I just moved on to our next destination.
Later that night my mom called saying dad had been moved from rehab to the ICU! He was snoring- like three big snores in a row, then he wouldn't breathe after the snores. Once he stopped breathing completely! Mom was frightened out of her wits!
Dad's doc came in and checked him once he was moved to ICU. Mom stayed with him until 3 that morning. I went back to the hospital the next day, so mom could have a break. Dad was MUCH more alert and awake this time. Not only was his elbow just replaced and his entire arm wrapped up in ACE bandage, but his other hand was swollen, too! We learned he has Gout! So, with both hands out of commission, I stepped in to help him out. When his lunch tray came I fed him the things he wanted to eat. I turned the pages of the newspaper for him. Helped him turn in bed, change the channel on the TV, and read articles to him when he got too tired to read them himself.
My mom has a holiday party coming up next week for her gift shop staff, and she needed to be at home today, baking and preparing things for the party. So I went out to the hospital again to be with and help my dad.
He was in extremely good spirits today! He'd received steroids to help the Gout, and his good hand was much less swollen. His lunch tray came and the entree was chicken breast with rice and green beans. My dad hates chicken! My dad hates rice! I fed him the salad that came with his lunch, and fed him the raisin oatmeal cookie.
During this time, his nurse, Robyn, came into the room to administer his medications. Dad had a different nurse the previous time I was with him, so dad introduced me to Robyn as, "My very, very, good, goodest daughter". When Robyn chuckled and said, "It's good to have her help, isn't it?" my dad launched into this string of compliments about me that made my head swim! I don't think I'd ever had as many compliments from him as I did then. It was a little embbarrassing, but for the most part, it was really, really cool!
It's funny. I'm almost 45. I'm a grown woman, on my own, a single mom raising a son. You'd think, at this age, I'd be past getting excited over parental compliments. But I'm not. I've been on cloud 9 all day today, knowing that my dad is proud of me and thinks I'm a good girl.
All I did was the right thing- he took care of me as a child and helped me get where I am today. I'm just returning the favor. I'm glad to be there for him, and for my mom, too! If they had to rely on my younger brother for anything (granted he lives four hours away in the state of IL) they'd be in trouble! He can't even be bothered to pick up the damn phone and call them every now and then! And he was supposed to come in tonight for Turkey Day, but he texted me saying his Kitty Sitter had fallen through and that he wouldn't be coming until noon on Turkey day, then he had to leave first thing Saturday morning.
Not long after that he texted saying his area was getting freezing rain and that the trees had an eighth of an inch of ice on them already.
He's trying to get out of coming over for Turkey Day! I just know that's what he's plotting right now! It burns me up- he can do no wrong in my parent's eyes. No wrong! But yet he can't pick up the phone to call his father when he's in the hospital or take a few days off work to come over and be with my dad. But hey, that's HIS problem, not mine. So I better get back to my "good girl" compliments before I blow my image by complaining about my brother! LOL
So like I said, I have been on Cloud 9 since being complimented by dad. We didn't have the best relationship when I was younger, so I'm glad as an adult, I can have a good relationship with my dad.
I hope all of you AMD'ers out there have family around you this time of year! Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone!

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Nov 25 @ 1:03AM  
I am sure your parents love you just as much.......usually when a child lives farther away and can't see them often a parent will talk about them more........they take the ones that are close by for granted...........but in reality they know who they can count on and appreciate it.

I am glad your dad is doing better. Hope your Thanksgiving is great.

Nov 25 @ 4:14AM  
Big Hugz to you !!!
Happy Thanksgiving!!!!
Good to see ya!

Nov 25 @ 4:35AM  
My mom took me for granted until I moved thousands of miles away 9 1/2 years ago. Now my shit don't stink. I chalk it up to the huge distance between us...and absence making the heart grow fonder.

I'm glad that you've been able to spend some quality time with your dad during this very difficult time. You most definitely are a wonderful daughter...and I'm so glad your getting some much deserved feedback. Those types of words mean so much sometimes.

Happy Turkey Day Ms. Sunshine!

Nov 25 @ 12:58PM  
First, let me say I'm glad your dad is doing better.

Next, you know the old saying about not seeing what is right in front of our noses? That goes for parents as well...the distance clouds a lot of things over.
And beign opinionated does not stop you from being a good daughter. But I am glad that your dad voiced it and you got to hear it.
Happy Thanksgiving, Sweetie.

Nov 25 @ 1:41PM  
Wow, Glad to hear your daddy is doing better. Sorry to hear that he was having such a rough time.

I know what you mean though, for the first time EVER.. my mom called me last year just to tell me that she loved me and was proud of me.. my smart ass popped off with who are you and what have you done with my mother? but.. yeah.. it felt amazing.

You are a goodest daughter. I'm glad he sees that.

Happy Thanksgiving.. I'm thankful that your dad is getting better!

Nov 25 @ 2:15PM  
Dad's are pretty special people. I am much closer to my dad than my Mom....I am trying to learn to be a better person in light of the fact that my step mom is such a horrible person and my mom just plain has written me off as her mistake and makes it a point to fawn over my sister. So I stick close to my dad and simply can't imagine life without him. I would do the EXACT same thing for my dad! But trying to muster up "nice" in the midst of the crazy family antics is certainly a HUGE EFFORT. I SUCK at it!

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