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The Further Adventures of the Skwirl Vs. the Big Conglomerate

posted 11/16/2010 7:31:53 PM |
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So, my doc, unbeknownst to me, decides I need antibiotic drops for my ears and calls them in. This would have been fine but the WallyWorld pharmacist calls me out of the blue asking me do I have an eye infection? Uh.. nope? Not that I'm aware of. So.. he decides to hold the script til Monday.. Monday.. I receive my obligatory *I kid you not* obscene phone call from the cute chick at the Doc's office. "Umm, Doctor wanted me to tell you that she prescribed some stuff for your ears." Oh.. well.. ok. So that means my third trip to the World of Wall in five days. YUCK!

Yeah, yeah, I know it's Tuesday, I kinda slept through yesterday.

Anyway.. I digress...

I'm on my way to the Walmart. Always a fun excursion. I get to the stop light in town and there's some really adorable hippy chick with a needs a ride sign.. I'm sorry sweetums.. Ass Cash or Gas.. nobody rides for free. So .. I skillfully avoid eye contact. Right? Yeah.. she flips me off as I go past her. Sarright I can take it.

I expeed the limit for the 7.9 miles it is to the nearest little Walmart. Now, keep in mind this is not one of the Super Walmarts or even a reasonably Good Walmarts.. this is a little bitty .. teeny tiny Walmart.

Also keep in mind that it's not even thanksgiving yet.. k? Ok so I wander into the parking lot and spend fifteen minutes trying to park the car somewhere that's less than a football field away. Why? Cuz my knees say so. I get parked .. get out of the car, pull my skirt out from between my buttcheeks where it's lodged itself on the drive, and waddle to the front doors.

The auto doors manage to notice me tugging on them finally and decide to open. yay.. I hate auto doors. And my senses were immediately accosted by ... yup, you guessed it XMAS music. It's not even bloody December PEOPLE.

I fight my way valiantly toward the pharmacy section... sword in hand, armor gleaming in the tube flourescent lighting.. My hair blowing in the breeze triumphantly as I mount the bastion of.. yeah ok so it didn't really happen like that. Instead it was more like this.. I pushed some grumpy old fart's cart out of the way so I could walk, listened to him gripe about kids today. I tried for three aisles to zig zag past two very .. umm.. splendidly round ladies.. til I finally gave up and slowed down.. finally wended my way to the pharmacy pick up aisle.. to stand in line behind twelve, yes, twelve blue haired senior citizens (that part I don't mind) and one screaming brat whose mother looked like she'd been hit by a truck. Inch by precious inch I get closer and closer to the white line.. you know.. the stand behind for privacy line.. right. So.. finally it's my turn.. and some fat sour grumpy bitch decides she needs attention more and jumps in front of me. Do I behead her? No, I follow the guidelines of humanity and sit there silently stewing.

I get to the checkstand and .. what prescription? Oh.. it's not quite ready yet. WTF? WTGDF? I go sit at the blood pressure table cuz I know that by now mine is shooting through the roof. I poke my head around every four minutes to check if the damned thing is ready yet.. I mean.. what they gotta do??? Mold the bread first?

Finally, after 20 minutes of monitoring my rapidly rising blood pressure.. and it's finally ready. Then the pharmacist wants to counsel me.. thats good cuz I have no idea with it's about.

Ok then I head to pick up benadryl cuz with us coldy critters it's goin fast. got it.. wooot.. now go find hot apple cider packets for my dying child.. should be right there with the hot choco right? yeah.. not. No hot apple cider packets at walmart.

I go to the self checkout which is confused because I set my purse down on it by accident and so I have to have a Wallmonkey come and check my one whole item.


Then I trudge out to the frozen wasteland that is the Walmart Parking lot..

drive out of the lot and there sits that same cute hippy chick with her needs a ride sign. I'm thinkin it's a sign. So I speed up past her.

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by theSkwirl:
My Dearest Baby Brother.,, :P
Merry Christmas and Harpy Nude Rear
The Case of the Ancient Arm Eater
Taz: the little ball of fluff that could. (another pet story)
A Charley Horse! (a pet blog)
I Sold My Soul To Dr. Seuss
Two things.. a thank you and a story.
The Infamous Carrot Fiasco, and other stories
Lessons Learned (yeah another remeniscence)
Crocus for Grandma
It's A Hard Candy Christmas
The Further Adventures of the Skwirl Vs. the Big Conglomerate
Hellooo? Veterans Day???
We, the Prime
Mmmmm.. Skwirls LUV Autumn
A Halloween Poem and a note from B9!
A Halloween Story
Good News for me.. bad news for y'all.
Blame that Sweet Spice Girl..
Are You Feeling Adventurous?
I Need an Attitude Adjustment!
Hey, Hey! My Second Favorite Holiday!
A Wise Woman's Stone
Because I can


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Nov 16 @ 7:45PM  
Going to walmart is always a fucking adventure! I almost hate going there myself... parking is alot of the reason!
You always do tell a good story though skwirl!

I hope you feel better soon!

Nov 16 @ 7:45PM  
Did you kudo yourself again!?!?!?


Nov 16 @ 7:46PM  
Awesome write!!! Good Read!!!!
I'm Loving me some Skwirl right now!!!! You did Good!!!!

Nov 16 @ 7:46PM  
I feel your pain! My gyno actually told me that WalMart has a policy to not actually fill the prescription until they see the whites of your eyes. That way they figure you will shop for the 20-45 min it takes them to get around to putting the damn bottle in a bag. Dirty Bastards!

Nov 16 @ 7:51PM  
Er... no I hadn't kudoed me.. thanks for the reminder. Gawd that feels niiiiice.

Nov 16 @ 7:51PM  
Good, interesting read, you make the mundane interesting. No insult intended. I would fire Wally World as my pharmacy of choice.

Nov 16 @ 7:52PM  
If it weren't for the $4 prescriptions.. I would.

Nov 16 @ 7:58PM  
So....................................................................are ya happy to be home sweet home now?

I have always hated waiting for prescriptions to be filled.

Nov 16 @ 7:59PM  
*slips back in to leave a kudo*

Nov 16 @ 8:07PM  
Thanks for the adventure I hate long lines!!.
I would check out Walgreens they have a lot of the script's wally world does at the same price!

Nov 16 @ 8:31PM  
Don't go to WalMart very often, i have to travel about 30 miles to get there

Nov 16 @ 8:37PM  
If it weren't for the $4 prescriptions.. I would.

Everyone offers that around here, but Dallas ain't Oregon.

Nov 16 @ 8:47PM  
Terrific story Skwirl! Hope you feel better soon.

WallyWorld and I don't get along for many of the reasons you mentioned, but sometimes that's the only place to go... but not for my scripts because I can get them for $3.00 at CVS.

Walgreens, at least where I live, is one of the most expensive for scripts. Part of the cost of a co-pay is determined by one's insurance. Unsure as to what other factor may be in play here except, it also depends what kind of contract is negotiated with the various pharmacies. It's enough to make my head hurt trying to figure out where to go for what pharmacy, clinic, doc, etc. But I won't complain about it because I'm grateful to have insurance.

Nov 16 @ 9:09PM  
$1-2 co-pay myself.

Long day, went across country for a bike. Met Large Marge who scared the crap outta me, thought it was in the Alamo's basement until they told me it wasnt and I got laughed outta Texas, met some bikers and danced this funky dance with some big white shoes, got chased through the WB studio and saved some animals out of a burning petstore, except snakes..yuck. I got my bike though...and who the hell is Dotty?

Nov 16 @ 10:26PM  
I get my scripts at Costco- I call them in an hour before I leave and they're ready when I get there but of course, usually wait behind that stupid 'Wait Here' sign behind others and of course, the one in front of me stands there and gabs asking a gazillion freak'n questions!

Kudo for an interesting blog!


Nov 17 @ 12:05AM  
Wally world is suppose to be aggravating....that's what makes it interesting. Yannon they have more handicap parking spots than any other store..that's why ya have to park so far away from the every other person in town has a handicap sticker.

The waiting for a prescription is matter whether they have to pick up a pre-packaged pill pak or count them out and yes it's designed to get the customer to go spend lots of money while they wait.

Yet I like Wally's an adventure in so many things....trying my patience, getting my walking exercise in for the day, putting big dents in my wallet and just look at all those funny dressed people to entertain us....

Kudo kookie for a really good Skwirl story....

Nov 17 @ 12:31AM  
The wallyworld by me has expecting mothers parking spots really close. So I always park there what are they gonna go make me pee on a stick to prove it? I don't think so.

Nov 17 @ 9:17AM  
hope you get better soon angel:)

Nov 17 @ 10:24AM  

Get well soon precious.

Nov 17 @ 1:09PM  
Oh my! Adventures in Wally World are always the best. Not!

I too sit at the blood pressure chair whenever I'm waiting for the powers that be to fill my prescription so that I can then go home and crash. I actually wondered one time if anyone would notice if I simply fell off the chair because I got too sick while waiting for my medicine. Luckily...I never had to find out.

Nowadays....I fax my prescription over to Costco first. They always call to confirm the faxed prescription...and to let me know when it will be ready. Easy...peasy.

I'm sorry you're feeling so sick Ms. Skwirl.
I hope you start feeling bright-eyed and bushy-tailed very soon.

Btw...I loved the story. Here's one of MY special green pills. They're guaranteed to make you feel really groovy.

Nov 17 @ 1:25PM  
...I would have gone and gotten the script for you iffin I was closer!...Hope you are feeling better soon!

Nov 21 @ 8:25PM  
Hiring network models, $60 per hour!

Nov 21 @ 8:33PM  
60 bucks an hour......

Christmas IS coming soon....

Ask for payment up front!

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The Further Adventures of the Skwirl Vs. the Big Conglomerate