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Just a few Blondies to start the weekend......

posted 11/12/2010 10:53:48 AM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: new, joke, sex
  straightup_9

My standard repost disclaimer applies.......ENJOY!!!



Carol and Donna were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for

Humanity house.



Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking into, asked,"Why are you

throwing those nails away?" Carol explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of

them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." Donna got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"



*******************



Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie? They had gone to see "Closed for the Winter."





*****************



A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took

it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he

decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened So she blew a little

harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Duh, like... HELLO! You need to roll up the windows first."



***************



A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a

thermos.....it keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." "Wow," said the blonde, "that's amazing.! ...I'm going to buy it!!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that," he asked? "Why, that's a thermos.... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?" The blonde

replied........"Two popsicles and some coffee"



****************



AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST...



A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, "Why don't you go home

for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest." "Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have a better chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows

the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out from his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. "What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?" he asks.

"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my twin sister. Her mother died, too."

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Comments:

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Wordsofwit

Nov 12 @ 11:47AM  
First of all, and this is my preference, I am going to slide you a green diskie for bundling the jokes together as a theme instead posting them one at a time.

Like everybody else, I have a lot of blonde jokes in my archives and on my hard drive. But I have to get back to work so while I may add in few more later, I'll just spin in a different variant for now. Yes, I know they are stale as I posted them on here years ago and harvested them from a BBS during the Clinton years:

BLONDE REVENGE

WHAT'S BLACK AND BLUE AND BROWN AND LYING IN A DITCH?
A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.

WHAT DO YOU CALL GOING ON A BLIND DATE WITH A BRUNETTE?
Brown-bagging it.

WHAT'S THE REAL REASON A BRUNETTE KEEPS HER FIGURE?
No one else wants it.

WHY ARE SO MANY BLONDE JOKES ONE-LINERS?
So brunettes can remember them.

WHAT DO YOU CALL A BRUNETTE IN A ROOM FULL OF BLONDES?
Invisible.

WHAT'S A BRUNETTE'S MATING CALL?
"Has the blonde left yet? "

WHY IS THE BRUNETTE CONSIDERED AN EVIL COLOR?
When was the last time you saw a blonde witch?

WHAT DO BRUNETTES MISS MOST ABOUT A GREAT PARTY?
The invitation

WHAT DO YOU CALL A GOOD LOOKING MAN WITH A BRUNETTE?
A hostage

WHO MAKES BRAS FOR BRUNETTES?
Fisher-Price

WHY ARE BRUNETTES SO PROUD OF THEIR HAIR?
It matches their mustache.
1bunny629

Nov 12 @ 2:26PM  
I am still trying to figure out why the boss didn't know it was a thermos on her desk....
wissadp

Nov 12 @ 5:25PM  
must have been a blonde boss
PinkToeNails

Nov 12 @ 7:05PM  
Blonde jokes..... always priceless....

Brunette jokes.......... *feeling all insulted and shit now*..


All in all! They were ALLLLL Straight up funny!!!

hog77297

Nov 12 @ 8:26PM  
Blonds, brunettes how come you left out my favorite REDHEADS ya scared or what?
Those were all funny though!

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Just a few Blondies to start the weekend......