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Ever wondered what happens...

posted 11/2/2010 11:54:00 AM |
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  somnium

when Hallmark writers are having a bad day?

Heard your wife left you,
How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.
_______________________________


Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the hell was I thinking?'
_______________________________


Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.
_______________________________


How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?
_______________________________


I've always wanted to have
someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.
_______________________________


I must admit, you brought Religion into my life..

I never believed in Hell until I met you.
_______________________________


As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am..

That you're not here to ruin it for me.
_______________________________


Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.
_______________________________


Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )
_______________________________


Happy birthday! You look great for your age.

Almost Lifelike!
_______________________________


When we were together,
you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.
_______________________________


We have been friends for a very long time .

let's say we stop?
_______________________________


I'm so miserable without you

it's almost like you're here.
_______________________________


Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.

Did you ever find out who the father was?
_______________________________


Your friends and I wanted to do

something special for your birthday.

So we're having you put to sleep..
_______________________________


So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

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Comments:

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sugarnspice005

Nov 2 @ 12:09PM  
How could two people as beautiful as you

Have such an ugly baby?

This reminded me of what an old friend once said to a couple my youngest sister knew:

"How could 2 ugly people have such a beautiful baby?"

soft_touch938

Nov 2 @ 12:46PM  
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee , Kentucky & West Virginia )

I'd seen these before but not this one....it is hilarious!!!

Thanks for the laugh!
1bunny629

Nov 2 @ 2:02PM  
...he he he...I have always liked those!

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