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Embarrassing Medical Exams......

posted 10/30/2010 10:35:56 AM |
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  blondie_779


1. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her
baby in the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted
the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I
noticed that there were several cabs -- and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio , TX

2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 'Big
breaths,' I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,' replied the patient

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than
five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family
that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble
with one of his medications. 'Which one?' I asked. 'The patch, the
nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours, and now I'm
running out of places to put it!' I had him quickly undress, and
discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty
patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the
old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA.

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How
long have you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion,
she answered...'Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband
was alive.'

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis , OR

6. I was caring for a woman and asked, 'So, how's your breakfast this
morning?' 'It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly I can't seem
to get used to the taste,' the patient replied. I then asked to see
the jelly, and the woman produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI

7. A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with
purple hair styled into a punk rocker mohawk, sporting a variety of
tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on
the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been
dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the
grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short
note on the patient's dressing, which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the
lawn.'

Submitted by RN, no name

AND FINALLY!!!...

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB , I was quite
embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my
embarrassment, I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling
softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam
suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up
from my work and sheepishly said, 'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied, 'No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish
I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'

Doctor wouldn't submit his name (Can't blame him!)









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Comments:

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sugarnspice005

Oct 30 @ 11:16AM  
1. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her
baby in the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted
the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I
noticed that there were several cabs -- and I was in the wrong one.

OOPS!!!


7. A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with
purple hair styled into a punk rocker mohawk, sporting a variety of
tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on
the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been
dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep off the
grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short
note on the patient's dressing, which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the
lawn.'

Submitted by RN, no name




Thanks for the chuckles Sis!
NightOfOld

Oct 30 @ 11:18AM  



here's your greenie
somnium

Oct 30 @ 12:02PM  
1. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her
baby in the cab!' I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted
the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I
noticed that there were several cabs -- and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio , TX

Hmmm... Gives me an idea- all I need is a white lab coat and a stethoscope!


ksk72

Oct 30 @ 2:52PM  
'Sorry, had to mow the lawn.'
onehornytoad69

Oct 30 @ 4:03PM  
Good ones!!!!

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Embarrassing Medical Exams......