I like the second one, the first not so much, and the third is stale and moldy.
There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon
entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'
The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'
The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate
love to me seven times.'
The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven
lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'
The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'
The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face..'
A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife
was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're
beautiful.' Then he fell asleep again.
His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his
side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, 'You're cute.' The wife was disappointed because instead of 'beautiful,' it was now 'cute.'
She asked, 'What happened to beautiful?'
The man replied, 'The drugs are wearing off.'
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for
company.. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and
asked, 'Father, my dog is dead.. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor
Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for
an animal in the church... But there are some Baptists down the lane, and
there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'
Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is
enough to donate to them for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't
ya tell me the dog was Catholic?
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
read more blogs!