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The Art of Feeling Better.....

posted 10/9/2010 8:44:07 PM |
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tagged: health, illness

I have not been well the past few months. I've posted on here before about my chronic illness and issues I've had surrounding this illness.
The biologic medication I started back at the end of January this year suddenly stopped working. I've missed a total of 3.5 weeks of work (medical leave) because of my illness, and have just basically felt like shit most of the time! Now I know there are people out there in lots worse shape than I am, so this is by no means a complainy blog; nor is it a "poor-lil-ol-me" blog.
On September 20th I started a new Rheumatoid Arthritis medication called "Remicade". Basically it's a biologic medication that shuts down your immune system to keep it from attacking your joints and creating swelling, stiffness and pain. My second dose of this med was this past Thursday and just before getting that infusion I started feeling better!
I'm just blown away by the person I am when I'm feeling good. I was just sitting here thinking about all the things I accomplished today, and for once, at 8:28p.m. at night, I'm upright, not prone, and awake, not in some medicated sleep!
When I was on medical leave from work, some days I didn't get out bed. Some days I never changed out of my PJs. I never left the house. I became a hermit.
And that is definitely NOT the person I am!
So I was sitting here, catching up on everything I've missed here at AMD, and it dawns on me how good I'm feeling today! I was up early, got my son off to his marching band engagement at 10:00, and I was on the road from that time until 3:36p.m.! (I was feeling SO good that I had to squeeze in some retail therapy!). Once home, though, I got started on the laundry, and I even ran the vacuum cleaner (this little task hadn't been done for at least two months! Gross, I know!)
As I was doing all these things today, I breathed a thankful sigh of relief; I was so grateful for being allowed a day like today; when you are in pain, or have a chronic illness, it's so easy to forget how to function like a regular person. It's very scary to me, actually, that while I'm closed up, inside my home, the world goes on, oblivious to the loss of me. It's very hard to think of, or do anything, when you feel awful. The disease begins ruling your life and making you a prisoner of pain. I'm relishing this new found freedom; the freedom to get up out of bed and start my day without having to worry if each step is going to make the pain worse- the freedom to be able to hold the hair dryer or the toothbrush without worry of dropping them into the sink. The freedom to be able to choose clothing that has buttons and zippers.....These are freedoms I took for granted before I got sick. Things most people don't have to think twice about. Automatic things. But now I think about them. I think about a lot of things I didn't use to.
So I'm grateful for days like today! And though I'm an optimistic person, I'm almost afraid to feel good. Wondering if tomorrow the rug will get pulled out from under me and will those nasty symptoms rear their ugly heads again?
But I've decided to stay positive. There is lots and lots of research on the power of positive thinking. I'm going to employ that positive thinking. I'm going to go to bed tonight (yes, alone, unfortunately! ) knowing that tomorrow morning will dawn and I will begin another great day like today!
I'm so thankful for feeling good! Most people will tell you not to take your health for granted. Being the victim of a chronic illness, I finally understand what they meant.
I'm going to employ my power of positive thinking and press on in the hopes that one good day turns into two, turns into three and so on.
I'm glad to share my triumph with my AMD friends- what good is good news if it can't be shared?

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Oct 9 @ 9:09PM  
My daughter was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis a few months ago and she is only 35. It is very debilitating. Let's hope this works for you long term.

Oct 9 @ 9:10PM  
I for one am glad that you're feeling much better and can function normally! I personally don't take my health for granted and try to listen to my body!

Here's to a much better and happier life!


Oct 9 @ 9:35PM  
Thx for the Great News!!!
Good to see ya!!

Oct 10 @ 5:14PM  
I know almost exactly how you feel babe. I'm so sick of being sick. I wanna be healthy and mobile like I used to be.. sigh.

Glad you are feeling mo bettah though!! Very glad.

Oct 11 @ 7:38PM  
Yea!!! I'm so happy you're feeling better Sunshinegal.

I definitely know how being sick can rule your life in a very negative way. have turned a corner...and will be able to get your life back to where it used to be. You're in my thoughts.

Here's a green cookie because I adore great news.

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The Art of Feeling Better.....