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If I can stand...

posted 10/9/2010 4:40:01 PM |
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  GryGoast

My name is neither germaine nor important. What is important is the message I am and the posability for hope I represent. I am a 61 year old caucasian male presenting with a Right Side CVS. (For those that don't know, That's a catastphic stroke). As of this writing, I am 12 months post. This document will journel my recovery and return to a high function role in society. It is a story of one step. It is the record of a series of brutal, agonizing steps taken in isolation. No encourgment was offered nor was any asked. God knows, I have a lot of faults, but ingraditude is not one of them. In truth I owe so meny people, Nurses, the unseen doctors and most of all the faceless CNA's who step for step traveled this journey at my side. I owe them all a debit of graditude I can never re-pay. There is no cerency suffient to settle this debit save perhapse compassion.

I stand before you today, nakid, newly re-born. Like the ledgindary Phonix risen from the ashes of my former self. Everything I was, everything I aspirsd to, my dreams, my wants, my needs, my wishes upon a star, the man I was ... it's all gone. Literally overnight, I woke up in a nursing home, a 'hoyer', barly able to verbilize yes/no, writen off by society.

The first thing taken from me was my modisty, and this Ill never find again. The next thing thay tryed to take, even before hope was lost was my dignety, and this I refused to serender. When I was hopeful I was informed how hopeless my situation was. You see dear reader, that was there mistake, for all my life, the best way to get me to do a thing, was to tell me I couldn't do it, my mother new this well. And how meny times I was told I would never walk again. I didn't know then how this would turn out, I just knew I was not going to set in that wheel chair, with a slack jawed smile on my face and drool on my self for the rest of my life. I knew, if I could just stand up ... then I could take a step.

And if I could take one step, just one tiny step, I could take two.

And if I could take two, I could take three. And, If I could take three steps, in the fullness of time, I would walk out the door of that home.

And if I could walk out of that door then ... you can too now.

So, it comes full circle. Standing at the threshold of whats to come, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Allthough I think Im going to like the man I've become better then the man I've lost.

But this I do know ... if you can stand...



Godspeed

Gry



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Comments:

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LadyRamRod

Oct 9 @ 4:53PM  
You deserve much credit, good luck in your new life
whisperingcomet

Oct 9 @ 5:05PM  
I think i will speaking for most of the people here by saying I am honored that you have selected our little corner of the world to share you journey.

I look forward to reading every word...

thank you
linda
Wordsofwit

Oct 9 @ 5:21PM  
I think i will speaking for most of the people here by saying I am honored that you have selected our little corner of the world to share you journey.

I look forward to reading every word...

As she said.
somnium

Oct 9 @ 5:25PM  
Very well said! With me, it's the perseverance to move on- mind over matter and to not give up... don't ever give up!!

NightOfOld

Oct 9 @ 6:50PM  

My friend it is good to see you back and to know you are okay. We your friends here have missed you. Look foreward to reading your post. Hang in there and NEVER give up.
PinkToeNails

Oct 9 @ 7:01PM  
You're a very strong man! So many of us could learn a thing or two from you!! Keep on recovering and being an inspiration to others!
Sunshinegal35

Oct 9 @ 7:13PM  
Good for you, Gry! I hadn't seen you around and wondered what was up. Now I know you've been fighting a battle and winning!
I always enjoyed your posts. I look forward to sharing your journey!
sugarnspice005

Oct 9 @ 7:17PM  
And we will be here with you the whole way.
onehornytoad69

Oct 9 @ 7:24PM  
Way to go man!!!
I agree with Comet!!! Thanks for Posting!
whisperingcomet

Oct 9 @ 7:30PM  
OK...yes, im slightly drunk.... but I must say....I am proud to know you people...a more supportive group will never join together...all of us were drawn together here in our little pervia land for some reason....and who knows the big picture might have been to accompany Ghost on this journey..

and Ghost, we will be here for you....ive seen it time and time again...a journey as tough as yours...no..but we will be here
lilofval

Oct 9 @ 8:10PM  
I think most of them have said it well so I will just add my good wishes and hope everything goes well for you !! I too will be waiting to hear how things go with you.
hog77297

online now!
Oct 9 @ 9:02PM  
Sounds to me you are a strong man with what it takes. I know it's been a hard trip but your tough enough to see it through I can tell. Looking foward to hearing more from you.
sending you a Kudo for your bravery and will.
whisperingcomet

Oct 10 @ 6:36AM  
i stopped by and left you a kudo..plus this should put your post back on the first page, coz i dont want anyone to miss your posting..
whisperingcomet

Oct 10 @ 11:38AM  
whooops....looks like i have put your great blog back at the top of the list....
KitKat25

Oct 11 @ 7:46PM  
Kudos to you. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I look forward to seeing more of your blogs. Good luck with your continued journey.
theSkwirl

Oct 11 @ 8:54PM  
Bless you Sir, one step right after another. and hugs.

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If I can stand...