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Does Distance Make A Difference With How You View Your Friendships?

posted 9/18/2010 5:37:54 AM |
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tagged: friends, life, thoughts

Those of you who have talked with me over the past 4 months know about some of my health problems. And for me…when I share these types of personal details with another person…it’s only natural that I would feel closer to them. That’s the way I feel about some of the peeps in Pervia.

Some days…even though I know I should call…I just can’t bring my self to call some of my family and friends back home…because all they want to talk about is my health. This behavior drives me nuts...because it’s like my health problems are another person in the room. Yeah…I’ve talked to them about it many times…and tried to change the subject…but they love me...and they can be quite persistent when they’re worried about me. I get their behavior…I really do. But these days…I tend to make fewer phone calls back home…in the hopes they will assume I’m doing just fine. I don’t know if it's working…but that’s my plan right now…and I’m sticking to it.

So…what do you do when you’re taken off work and put on bed rest…and your whole world becomes very small? When your link to the outside world is by computer, telephone or TV? If you’re like me…you try to make the best of a difficult situation. And let’s face it…a person can only watch so much TV…or read so many books…or talk to so many friends on the phone in one day…and then what?

For me…that’s where AMD fits in. What started as a lark over a year ago…has quickly progressed to a place where I like to hang my hat regularly. A place where I can share my disappointments, fears, and struggles with friends…a place I can come and play…and laugh…and simply interact with some really cool people. Yes…Pervia has truly been a blessing for me some days.

I’ve made a lot of new friends who accept me as I am...and who are genuinely happy to see me when I drop in for a visit. In fact…there are a few peeps who I consider good friends…and because of this reason…the distance between us is just a minor detail…and not something that makes our friendship less than a friendship because of the distance.

So Pervia…Does distance make a difference with how you view your friendships?

Me? Distance does not matter to me at all. I see it as a minor detail…and it certainly doesn’t make me treat a friend any differently. You see…I don’t buy into the whole mentality of if a friend lives 2,000 miles away…I should view them or treat them any differently than a friend who lives right next door.

I know some people disagree with this POV. But I simply can’t see how you can be courteous and kind to your friends IRL…and grumpy, rude and disrespectful to the online friends you talk to almost everyday…simply because they are sitting on the other side of a computer screen.

For me…a friend is a friend…no matter the distance.

Your turn…

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Sep 18 @ 6:13AM  
Does distance make a difference with how you view your friendships?
You make a lot of interesting points but it's like viewer discretion advised. You have to trust your internal instinct on long distance relations I would suppose. ...
Some days…even though I know I should call…I just can’t bring my self to call some of my family and friends back home…because all they want to talk about is my health. This behavior drives me nuts.
I agree. What did the doctor say is one of the most annoying that starts a multiple explosion of questions you can't answer yet but that's only cause family & friends care about you but love isn't supposed to hurt.

Sep 18 @ 7:46AM  
I don't see mileage when I am here!! ( Except..for Dating! I can't do the long distance thingy now a days...!! )
Friends..are just on the other side of the Screen! So I see it!!!

Sep 18 @ 7:47AM  
OH NO!! My friends are all over the U.S. (and canada you) I am slow I didn't know you were on bed rest When I was laid up from my accident I got bored and lonely so I called a lot of folks. Hugs sweeite

Sep 18 @ 8:01AM  
yeah,yeah...and your still promising to put out on our first day..when-ever we finally get around to catching up with each other

jus how many times does a chick was her hair ....

Sep 18 @ 8:07AM  
distance matter ME???? lmao NOPE don't mean nuthin to me

Sep 18 @ 8:38AM  
Distance doesn't really matter with friends. Even my friends locally and I often keep in touch on the phone. Visits are not the common unless we are actually doing something together.

Sep 18 @ 11:02AM  
Nope, no diff at all, except there are several on here that I would love to meet in person if for nothing more than a big hug and share a cup of coffee. Then of course the distance matters a great deal. But I saw my son more often in Iraq on Skype than I do now that he's stateside, so in this day and age, distance is never really that far for friends.

As to what to do when home sick for long periods of time. When I was pregnant with my son I had lost a baby 7 yrs previously and then lost my son's twin at 5 months into the pregnancy. So I spent the next 4 months in bed. It drove me crazy because I felt fine, and hate laying around when I feel fine. I crocheted, I knitted, I made baby quilts, I watched every movie the local rental place had, we couldn't get cable, so I taught myself how to play bass guitar. I swear that's why my son is such a great bass player now!!

Sep 18 @ 11:19AM  
I think that distance does change the nature of friendship in a myriad of ways. But once you're not living in the same city or county, 50 miles is the same as 5,000.

To offer a bit of a twist though, there's the time zone problem to be reckoned with. When I was living in California, and most of my friends were in Boston, I had to do math before reaching out and touching somebody. Most of my friends would be getting off work while I was still toiling away. Then, by the time I got home, they would be getting ready to go out for the evening, or already out. Keeping in touch with people meant, for the most part, playing phone tag with them for a week.

An odd exception to this was my best friend. I'm a night owl, and she is the earliest of birds. She keeps a schedule where she's usually only up when the sun is out. She is, though, reliably up at four in the morning every day. So when 1 o'clock rolled around and I was still up, we had a prime window when we could talk until sleep caught up with me.

Sep 18 @ 12:52PM  
Distance doesnt make a difference to me once someone becomes a friend. But I admit that it takes longer for me to become friends with someone far away. In general I am slow to make friends anyway but once I do they stay friends forever.

Sep 18 @ 1:09PM  
As far as friendships go, I don't think distance makes any diff to me. And I have some very far away friends (England, Japan, Australia, etc)!!!!!
Now when it comes to a relationship or romance do I think distance makes a diff? Heck yeah! I "dated" a guy in England for a while back in 2005. It was so hard- not because I worried about what he was doing or anything- but because the only way to communicate was via computer- and I got sick of being tied to the computer!
But for friendships I value the computer and how easy it makes it to keep in touch!

Sep 18 @ 1:13PM  
Coming from someone who lies almost 800 miles from the man she loves and has a wonderful relationship with, nope distance doesn't change how I view my friendships.

Sorry you are feeling down Sweetie, hope things get better for you...Really Soon.

Sep 18 @ 1:16PM  
Coming from someone who lies almost 800 miles
That was supposed to be lives...Not lies... didn't touch the V key hard

Sep 18 @ 1:25PM  
So Pervia…Does distance make a difference with how you view your friendships?

Friendships?... No!! As far as trying to establish a relationship? Distance has to be considered! I've flown to Dallas and back a couple of times and the lady of interest (that I met when we were employed by the same employer) flew from Dallas to here!

Distance was the problem- not from money as you might expect- it was difficult because of our schedules and the very short times together!

Another long distance relationship was with a lady in Southern Illinois where we both flew back and forth twice!

Again distance was a problem! However, she also held a PhD in Psychology! Now, I could hold my own in most anything we chatted about- BUT... unless you hold the same level of education as your partner does in this field (to decipher what they are thinking about and can be scary!)- consider the contraction: PhD as a kind of acronym for: you're... PhuckeD!!!


Sep 18 @ 2:00PM  
I feel the same as most the others here.

Sep 18 @ 5:17PM  
Nope, distance doesn't make a difference in how I view my friends. I've got friends all over that I've met online. A wonderful couple who gave great support and called me right away when Mick died, and at that time, they lived in England. They are now living in California.

One of the things I've loved about the internet is that I've made new friends. And, I've made some really great friends here in Pervia.

Sep 18 @ 6:28PM  
bought a house for one ...she was almost 400miles away...

Sep 18 @ 8:33PM  
Distance.. that's the cool thing about the interwebz isn't it? Distance means nothing.

Sep 19 @ 4:51PM  
Long distance makes no difference to me. Friendships are very important to me whether it's online or by phone as they are in person with me.

Sep 21 @ 6:11PM  
A friend is a friend no matter how far from you , have map diet coke will travel LOL is a true friend LOL
Smile young lady

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Does Distance Make A Difference With How You View Your Friendships?