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WHY IS IT ONLY WHEN YOU'RE IN A PINCH THAT YOU BECOME POPULAR ?

posted 9/10/2010 10:59:17 AM |
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  flavorbuster

I have a solitary job completely independent with no supervision & rarely come in contact with people but if Murphy's Law is true it's a mother fucker !!! Last Tuesday a bug hit me on the job & had to rush in one of the clients buildings because I knew it was about to come out both ends & as luck would have it a person flagged me down to ask for directions, the company & personal phone started ringing like it was grand central station. It really was a Calgon take me away event & it damned sure wasn't no fun multi tasking on the shitter with throwing up & having the flying hershey squirts. I felt like a swivel with the shit, flush, & turn around to puke routine. If you don't do it in that order it could get messy real quick & become a shitty ordeal.
Well I'm over it now & it brings up the question why do people only kick you when you are down so to speak? My dad would see me throwing up & holding my stomach & had the nerve to ask if I was sick. In addition he would say if you don't tell me where it hurts I can't help you which is stupid because I'm holding my gut & letting loose but I do love my dad even though he was a pain in my ass growing up. Only in the law of gravity wether it's shitting, pissing, or puking it seems you get your privacy revoked. I always had a fear of someone wanting to fight at one of the three expenses or all. I'm sure in combat a few have been killed with their pants down. Well it never happened where I had to fist fight in school when I had the shits but I would have gladly earned the nickname of skunk & sprayed that son of a bitch which probably would have been the best defense at the time. Speaking of privacy wether it's in a household or at work when there is only one restroom with one toilet why is it when you are in a bind people want to rush you? You can go all day & the restroom will be vacant until you get into a tough situation. Fuck Murphy's Law.

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WATCHING TOO MUCH OF ONE THING
WHO THREW THE TRANQUILIZER GRENADE ?
DO YOU SEE THE RESEMBLANCE ?
BATTLE AT KRUGER
THE SHAKE WEIGHT CRACKS ME UP !!!! WATCH THE VIDEO AT THE BOTTOM
WHY IS IT ONLY WHEN YOU'RE IN A PINCH THAT YOU BECOME POPULAR ?
Hey older folks !!! Remember this tune ?
LITTLE SHIT !!!!
TO KNOW ME IS TO LOVE ME / I THINK BUT NOT AS TWISTED AS SOME !!!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT DOG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Comments:

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everyonesvalentine

Sep 10 @ 11:10AM  
excellent screenplay. A plus plus.
sugarnspice005

Sep 10 @ 11:58AM  
The trick is to not look like you're in a pinch.
theSkwirl

Sep 10 @ 12:38PM  
I'm sorry Flave.. couldn't help but laugh. Been there.. hope you are feeling better!
Wordsofwit

Sep 10 @ 2:09PM  
The bad thing is when you can't hold it and the poop soup serving commences as you're squatting down before your ass is on the seat.

I also had that happen about 25 years ago at a crowded club and all of the stalls were filled. I ran out of time and had to use the sink. That was the only time I got the bum's rush from a bouncer.
StraddleMyNose

online now!
Sep 10 @ 5:40PM  
You crack me up, Flav!
onehornytoad69

Sep 10 @ 10:02PM  
It happens man!! Good one!!
Sunshinegal35

Sep 12 @ 2:20AM  
I was sick at my desk once. I knew I couldn't make it to the pot fast enough, so I had to ralph into my personal trash can.
I was supposed to be in a meeting at that time, too, but knew I'd still be sick and didn't relish the thought of "performing" in front of my co-workers. So I stayed at my desk.
Next thing I know, I'm face to face with one of my co-workers. She is a person who was vaccinated with a phonograph needle! She can't stop talking!
So there I am, bent double over my trashcan, puking my guts out! Remember in "The Wedding Singer" when Adam Sandler's character says, "Yeah, I think I saw a boot come out of him!"? Well that is what was happening to me! I just couldn't stop! And there stands my co-worker, watching me in ALL my glory!
Finally she goes back into the meeting, and I can finish barfing in peace! About 15 minutes later I joined the meeting. The co-worker who saw me puking says nothing. My boss asks me if I'm OK, and by this time, I really was.
Later diarrhea-of-the-mouth co-worker comes over and says, "Man, I had NO idea you were THAT sick! The boss told me to come out and remind you about our phone conference and BAM! I see you puking your guts out! Dude, I ran back into the conference room and told bossman that it was highly unlikely you'd be coming to the meeting!" I had to laugh, because I'd sufficiently grossed her out. And to hear her describe me puking, well, now, I don't care who you are...that right ere is funny!

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WHY IS IT ONLY WHEN YOU'RE IN A PINCH THAT YOU BECOME POPULAR ?