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OUCH!!!!

posted 9/9/2010 1:03:37 PM |
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  hog77297



XLent_Guy

Topics: 140
Posts: 675

The doctor said, "Bill, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Bill was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need... a new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long."

Bill laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Bill tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.



As Bill admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Bill thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Bill and said, "Let's see 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."

Bill was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years." Bill tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.



Bill walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Bill thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see... size 36."

Bill laughed, "Ah ha! I got you; I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."



The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."



New suit - $400

New shirt - $36

New underwear - $6

Second Opinion -PRICELESS


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Comments:

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somnium

Sep 9 @ 2:10PM  
Speaking of suits... I see a law suit in the works!!

onehornytoad69

Sep 9 @ 3:00PM  
Good one!
LadyRamRod

Sep 9 @ 4:10PM  
Good one Hog
Wordsofwit

Sep 9 @ 4:21PM  
That is a good one and I had never heard it before...that makes four or five this year from AMD, so automatic green thing. Well, actually, ladyramrod posted a good one, but she doesn't count.

Anyway, I got a joke sent to me a couple of weeks ago that I hadn't heard. But I figured that somebody else would post it and I rarely post solo jokes. But, somehow, it missed the email cycle . This happens once in a while, so when it does, I plug it in as a comment.

During a recent company password audit, it was found that a blonde secretary was using the following password:

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"

When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told her password had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital.
PinkToeNails

Sep 9 @ 4:41PM  
^^^^^^^^

lilofval

Sep 9 @ 6:10PM  
LadyRamRod

Sep 9 @ 9:40PM  
Oh Brucey, you telling me i only counted when you were trying to get in my pants, or have you forgotten, ya dirty old goat

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OUCH!!!!