I'm writing this letter to tell you that i'm leaving you for good.I've been a good man to you for seven yrs & I have nothing to show for it.These last two weeks have been hell.Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today&that was the last straw.Last week you came home &had'n even noticed i had gotten a new hair cut,cooked your faviorte meal&even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.You came home ate in two minutes,&went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps.You don't tell me you love me anymore,you don't want sex no more or anything.Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore,whatever the case is,i'm gone.
your EX-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister and i are moving away to West Virginia together!Have a great life!
Nothing has made my day more than recieving your letter.It's true that we have been married for seven yrs,although a good man is a far cry from what you've been.I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining &griping.Too bad that doesn't work.I did notice when you got a hair cut last week the first thing that came to mind was"you look like a girl!",but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice.And when you cooked my favorite meal,you must of gotten me confused with my sister,because i stopped eating pork seven yrs ago.I turned away from you when you had those silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them.I prayed that it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning...and your boxers were &49.99.After all this,i still loved you &felt we could work it out.So when i hit the lotto for 10 million, i quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.But when i got home you were gone.Everything happens for a reason i guess.I hope you have the fullfilling life you always wanted.My lawyer said that with the letter that you wrote,you won't get a dime from me.So take care.
Signed, Rich as hell and Free!!!
P.S. I don't know if i ever told you this but, Carla,my sister, was born Carl.I hope thats not a problem.
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