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Screw chivalry. Exclusivity is dead.

posted 8/31/2010 7:38:43 PM |
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I don't get why it's so hard to be exclusive. I mean, you find someone you like, really like, and yet you still keep talking to another person(s) that you only sort of like or think are cool. I'm not saying I don't have this problem, because I do. I mean, I'd be willing to forgo marriage (which is incredibly taboo in my social place) as long as exclusivity was law in the relationship. It's like marriage is just an excuse to say, this person is my life partner, but I don't have to be faithful to them. I get e-mails from married men on here all the time. It makes me sick. Don't they realize how much it hurts their wife and children when they cheat? My family was destroyed when my dad cheated on my mom. I'll never be the same when it comes to committing to someone. In the back of my mind, I'll always suspect that they're not being faithful.
I just don't understand. Marriage doesn't equal cheating. It just doesn't.
I'm not gonna lie, I mean if I was unhappy with my marriage, cheating would seem appealing. If I was unhappy in a long-term marriage-like relationship, I could just get out of it. Is it the whole "marriage is forever" thing? I guess it's like buying a house. You feel obligated to stay in it and fix it up instead of move, even if the house is a shithole.
The more I think about it, the more I don't want to get married. I mean, I really want a marriage. I want the security involved in it. But I don't want to be cheated on, or cheat myself. I'd rather not get married than have that happen. Of course every relationship is different, and contrary to what I'm saying, I'm not paranoid. I just know what cheating did to me and my family. I don't want to go through that shit again, and certainly don't want my kids to go through it either.

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Screw chivalry. Exclusivity is dead.
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Aug 31 @ 8:03PM  
Not all men cheat there r a few out there that gives there all to his girl and then get shit on over and over. I agree if u r going to cheat or fill that what u want leave before u hurt her more

Aug 31 @ 8:50PM  
its too true,moxie pixie trixie dust and faith hope and charity get stepped out on.
mentally mostly. physically it happens. oddly enuff. especially when said
woman is pregnant. or in the hospital dying of cancer. they are always hedging
their bets, not wanting to be 'all alone' with that terrible terrible person, themselves. living with oneself can be extremely hard, having to look
at yourself in the mirror, day in, day out. solitary confinement forever,
can be a real drag. and then the walls begin to talk, and move around,
after about 10 years of looking at them, and there is just a mirror there,
and a cot, ya get one hot, a bot, and a porta pot in the teeny tiny ten by ten
foot lot. surrounded by a room with no windows, and no doors. no way in,
no way out. pout.

Aug 31 @ 9:07PM  

I would say that goes both ways. Men and women cheat on each other. But not all of the. I would say about 60% may but I'm just guessing.
What I do know for sure is that I do not beleive in cheating. There's NO excuse for it. You do things together or not at all.

Aug 31 @ 10:08PM  
If I was unhappy in a long-term marriage-like relationship, I could just get out of it.

Commitment is still commitment even if there wasn't a ring and a piece of paper. Being unfaithful and deceptive hurts across all boards.

But I'm getting what you're saying- with divorce procedings, alimony, child support marriage is a lot more expensive to get out of than just a regular long-term set up.

Aug 31 @ 11:20PM  
All I can do... Is send Hugs!!!
If you can figure this shit out..Let Me know please!

Aug 31 @ 11:25PM  
There is no security in marriage .... including myself ... I know a few women that ended up supporting their men ... when the guys should have been working ..... and worse if they split ... paying alimony to a guy that works for cash on the side and says he makes no money ... so payup ... and laughing at the bar for the drinks his ex is always buying him..

Sep 1 @ 2:02AM  
The pain will be there no matter what. But if you are not married you can just walk away without the agony of going through a divorce.

Sep 1 @ 3:57AM  
I agree with most of you said. There is never a reason to cheat. If you feel you have to have an affair. Leave first!!!!!!!!!!!

Apr 3 @ 1:24AM  
You are afraid to commit, because you are afraid of getting hurt. That is a completely rational fear, and it is a fear that I have as well. Unfortunately, I have been hurt in the past, and opening back up is hard, but not opening up... is worse. Trust me, it is worse.

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Screw chivalry. Exclusivity is dead.