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Turns out you really can't go home afterall

posted 8/30/2010 7:01:53 PM |
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Yet another budding relationship in the dust. I blogged the other day of my very first boyfriend and very first kiss finding me after 33 years on Facebook. What I didn't share is that we had been talking nearly daily and had gone out last weekend. It was great. We had a blast and caught up on old times. While we both agreed we didn't want to jump into a relationship, we did agree that we wanted to go out again and just "date" to see where things went. Well as of this morning I know where it was going. Straight to hell. I hadn't heard from him for a couple days but thought nothing of it as we both work and he's been looking for better employment. But when the entire weekend went by and no word........well I did wonder. That was all settled early this morning via IM on Facebook. (Gotta love men that dump ya that way.....hello?? couldn't you have at least called???) Seems as though he had met a woman that he had gone out with before the ex he just split with. It's nothing against me at all. She makes him happy. Hope we can still be friends? Sure. Good luck. No hard feelings. Course that was at 6:30 this morning. As of 5 p.m. I've had lots of office time to think things through. I've got hard feelings plenty. But I also feel I may have dodged yet another bullet. Funny how time and perspective lets you replay conversations that you really didn't notice in the thrill of getting reacquainted. Now I heard all the warning signs I had ignored that night.

"Yeah my last relationship ended because the woman I was living with wouldn't put my name on the house, so after 6 years of living there and putting money and improvements on it, if something happened to her, I would just be out in the cold as she is leaving it to her kids" Now granted, I thought this was an odd reason for a relationship to end. But not knowing the amount of money or improvements he had put into the place I didn't question his motives or reason. Just stored that little tidbit in the back of my mind. Then he asked about my housing situation. I told him that my mom and I share a house on nearly 3 acres and that my dad has the place across the street with nearly 3 acres. Suddenly he's all "oh, but you're the only child right? So when something happens to them it will all be yours" Well, yeah. But I will sell it immediately if something does, and move elsewhere. Just too hard to get in and out in the winter months and too crowded around us now. Hmm?

Then there was the last conversation we had on the phone and I remembered the very last words he said, "too bad neither of us have our own place". See when he and this "last relationship" broke up four weeks ago he moved back in with his mom and dad in the house he grew up in. So today all this is crossing my mind. Then I remembered when he first moved back to the area about 6 years ago, he was living in a motorhome at his mom and dad's, that is until he met and moved in the woman that wouldn't put his name on her house!!

So now I'm wondering if this new woman has a house??? Perhaps a nice place he really wants to live in??? Or am I just trying to justify why he chose her over me??? Overly crazy or careful???

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Aug 30 @ 7:15PM  
He wants a sugar mama!

Ok, all joking aside....I've seen this little scenario play out with my youngest sister....she meets a guy...he's nice, respectful, seems like a good guy. Then it starts out with him spending a couple of nights.....then he's moved in, quits his job, doesn't bother trying to find another one, then eventually my sister gets fed up and throws him out. Every guy she has dated, except for one, has done this to her. She sometimes wonders if there is a sign over her head saying "free food and shelter".

Maybe I'm a little "jaded", but it seems he was more interested in property than in you.

Aug 30 @ 7:25PM  
I always paid attention to things like that. I tend to figure that by the time that you hit forty, you need to have something to show for yourself beyond a long story.

Aug 30 @ 7:26PM  
I think you're just lucky!

Aug 30 @ 7:27PM  
To Sugar: See that's what I'm thinking too! Wondered if I was just trying to justify being "dumped" again, before it really got started. But I'm thinking if he and this woman were together "before" this last one. Why if she makes him so happy did they split then??? Maybe she kicked him out?? Why else wind up living back home at mom and dads??? Plus he thought I could get him a good job with the county or the state. When I told him all was under a hiring freeze and there were no openings to be had, that's when he kind of backed off on the phone calls!! Just one of those makes you go hmmmm moments!!

To Bruce: Let it go Bruce you're not a woman.

Aug 30 @ 7:28PM  
To Bunny: Yeah, me too.

Aug 30 @ 7:54PM  
hey Stormy..i've seen stranger shit........let's think of it as GOOD LUCK ..

btw ..umm i gotta email from a woman who says shes sexy and attractive with a i'm thinkin ..well educcated right?? but ummm shes 4'10'' n 240lbs n says shes' average..umm maybe just MAYBE a scammer??


Aug 30 @ 8:00PM  
kudo for puttin up with me

Aug 30 @ 8:13PM  
He sounds like my ex husband.. all he cares about is what he can have. Seriously. It's all about him.

You got lucky that he found someone with more 'real' property.

Aug 30 @ 8:27PM  
He sounds like a Punk!!
You are Worth.. a Lot more than that!!!
Yall ......Sweet Ladies..... Keep on Looking For the Young guys.....Okies?

PS: I dunno the "AGE"..... Just a Guess!!!!!
Big Hug's for a Sis!!

Aug 30 @ 8:27PM  
He's been pretty unhappy with his job too and looking for better employment. He thought I could get him on with the County or the State. When I told him there are no openings and all are under hiring freeze right now, that kind of cooled his jets too!!

Aug 30 @ 8:29PM  
OHT, he's 9 months to the day younger than me. We went to school together and he was my first boyfriend at the age of 14. I think he just played on that trying to get what he could and when he found out that all I had to offer him was me, I think that did it.

Aug 30 @ 8:47PM  
Big Hug's are sent Your Way!!!
I wish I had a "Pain Bucket"....I would take all of Yours..Plus Others here!(Mine included!) and The pain would be GONE!
Life sucks sometimes!
I'm a Friend...... iffin you need to Vent... I'm here!!!

Aug 30 @ 9:12PM  
You know at 6:30 am this morning it hurt. By 10 a.m. I was pissy. By 2 p.m. I'd started thinking about all this stuff and it all started falling into place. So by the time I got off at 5 and headed home I was just pretty damned grateful that I didn't get stuck in a bad situation that I might have had hell getting out of.

Aug 30 @ 9:27PM  
C'mon over scoot....we'll schmooze over this shit together. Remember I just spent an afternoon with my first boyfriend from 50 yrs. ago? Yeah he is married and admitted it but he still lied about his wife understanding that it was just friendship and he said she had no problem with it. Then when he gets here he tells me she's crazy jealous and seemed to have no answer of why he didn't tell me that from the git-go. Well damn! I think I know....he was afraid I'd not agree to see him if I knew that!

Then he wants to "fix me up" with a friend so I go join them and find out he never told the friend a thing about me....huh???

Methinks he's workin' up to having his cake and eating it too. Ain't gonna happen.

So I know how ya feel pretty much. Don't make any difference how ya get all hurts.

Ya dodged a bullet hun. Hugs for the pain it caused though....

Aug 30 @ 9:32PM  
Thanks B! Sorry it didn't go very well for you either hun! I was feeling so good about myself and was feeling young all over again. It was all just pretty cool. Shame it turned out the way it did. Live and learn.

Now I just gotta find a hot hunk o' manhood to take as a date to a family reunion fish fry this weekend! His mom and sister always come as they are old family friends, I think I need to walk in with a hottie on my arm!!! Now to find a single hot male in my town that won't mind being arm candy for a day! lol

Aug 30 @ 10:21PM  
I haven't had the pleasure of getting to know you but from what I have read and what you said sounds like he Is not worth your time ! You'll can do better and I'm sure pulling for ya.

Aug 30 @ 10:22PM  
Ok...I understand why you would want to take a cutie patutie to the fish fry, but I think just going and being real and showing the one guy that it didn't affect you at all is more becoming of lady. jmho

Aug 30 @ 11:07PM  
To Hog: Thanks. True we haven't gotten very well acquainted. I'm a long time fixture here. Fortunately or unfortunately however you want to look at it.

Bunny- he won't be there. But his mom and sister most likely will. I would just like to walk in head held high with a hottie on my arm. Not flaunt anything, not even have to. Just be able to act like it didn't bother me at all and I've already moved on.

Aug 30 @ 11:19PM  
ok...I get it. One more thing...and I think you know this. Having a man does not define who you are as a woman.

Aug 30 @ 11:23PM  
Sorry things didn't work out so well LBS. But...I agree with the thinks you dodged a humungus bullet...and came out smelling like a rose. Chin up...he's the loser...not you.

Aug 30 @ 11:23PM  
Bunny- Oh I know that! Been without one in my life enough the past few years I'm well defined without one. Don't even mind my own company anymore! It's just a matter of pride here. Mine has been a little damaged today and I'd just like to smooth out the edges of it some!

Aug 30 @ 11:24PM  
Thanks Kat! Just one more life lesson learned.

Aug 30 @ 11:34PM  
Guess it's pretty clear what his priorities were when he's more interested in your real estate than romance.

Good riddance I say. Kind of a shame he had to spoil the memory though.

Aug 31 @ 12:01AM  
The old memories are still sweet and intact, its the new ones that suck!! lol I will survive.

Aug 31 @ 12:12AM  
Here is a thought.. His Mom and Sister probably wish to get rid of his ass too.. So you may well have some friends/allies in this.. I talk about assets sometimes when I am dating just to see where it goes and Yeppers, if they are asking then they want to fuck your ass and take the etts with them some place else... Good to know he is getting his ass and etts elsewhere..... Smile cause we bitches mad and angry would not be a good thing for him... Hummm Country... Deep holes, all I ask if if I can roll the carpet haven't got to do that part yet.... EVIL GRIN Bring your dog or get one you have always wanted they make much better companions...

Aug 31 @ 1:04AM  
... I know how you feel ...

gonna blog about it .... about the guy wanting to immigrate to Canada and the fastest way is through marriage...

how he hunted widows on POF site ...

found me ... and I was so naive ...

then again, I guess he realized after a number dates ... that well ummmm.... this gal was serious about not wanting to get married again ....

I realized this at the middle of the night after getting a cold shoulder ... that he really didn't care ... so I drove out on icy roads because I couldn't stand to be with the fucker any longer ...

Oh yeah found out he got married less than a year later ... sad though when he nearly lost his arm checking his semiload by a drunk driver ... at least the surgeries fixed things again ...

however I guess I was a still a little pissed and laughed when I realized that the arm that had been injured as also the hand that he masturbated daily with ...

Was it so wrong to feel good knowing he couldn't whack himself off for a very long time???

Aug 31 @ 1:16AM  
No worse than my thoughts this morning (or rather yesterday morning) when he said he hoped we could stay friends, after all we've been friends so very long. I wished him well, the best of luck all the while thinking "I hope your dick rots and falls off" You know I posted this song the other day as a joke, but it so fits my mood today!!!

I Pray For You

Aug 31 @ 6:52AM  
I think the word scam comes to mind. It seems very clear that he did you a favor. Be glad that you are no longer in his sites. Don't take it hard or personally because sadly this clown is out for himself.

Aug 31 @ 8:03AM  
I'm with sug, lady! He wants a woman to take care of his lazy ass! I think you're dodging the bullet statement is true! The way he handled the situation sucked, but at least you came out of the thing unscathed!
I had a relationship like that once, the one my mom still refers to as my "near miss"! I met the guy online, hit it off, he moved from two hours away to live with me. Hell, I even went as far as to buy a wedding dress. Drove to NJ to meet his parents and family. And while there little pieces of info started to surface- info that didn't jibe with the things he'd told me about his past.
Once back home I emailed his sister and told her everything he'd told me about his past. She was quite apologetic when she let me know he is a HUGE liar and that nothing he'd told me was true! God, if I'd married that guy he would have been entitled to half of everything I owned (not a lot, but still)!
So from one near miss escapee to another- chalk it up to experience and move on!
We'll find someone good for us one day. I firmly believe that!

Aug 31 @ 8:10AM  
As Softy hurts no matter how we get used. I know how ya feel, been there.

Hugs to ya....

Aug 31 @ 7:01PM  
Thanks for the support ya'll. It's just the more I thought about it, the more I saw that it wasn't me. It was my lack of real estate. Sad part is I had a longterm serious relationship end back in the mid 90s for almost the same reason. Only difference is I sold my house because "we" were buying another one..I moved from the farm I was renting, because "we" were buying another one. One month to the day after I moved from my beautiful farm house that I had remodeled and sold my home that was paid for to a friend (and I was stupid and carried the note, so no big chunk of money! I basically let her rent to own!) I get woke up at 4 am to be told that "He" was in love with a woman he worked with. Turns out she owned a 55,000 sq ft indoor riding arena and huge farm and convinced him that if he dumped me and she dumped her husband they would have their own little kingdom ("he" and "she" trained horses for a living) So of course he kicked me to the curb, turns out he and his mom were the only names on the final paperwork on the place we were buying and her divorce??? All she got was her three kids!!! I definitely celebrated that night! That was a double shot of tequila with a margarita back up and keep em coming night! I may never get a reason to celebrate out of this one, but I'll avoid the hangover too!

Aug 31 @ 9:20PM  
I would think by now, you are really celebrating the big ole bullet you dodged...damn were lucky this time.

I know, it would be fun to love like we were 17, but we're not....I read somewhere, if you dont know whether to listen your head or listen to you heart...use your head, that's where your brains are...

Aug 31 @ 10:04PM  
Dear Ms. Boots

I was wondering if there is any possibility you have rental space in one of your closets.

I clean floors, wash windows, and hand wash panties..bras included. I only ask that I may conduct experiments in the closet space.

I used to live with Ms.Skwirl, but she accidentally locked me out whe she went to Fairy World. I've been living in my van down by the river.

Yours truly ...Professor Pan.T.Borty

Aug 31 @ 10:18PM  
Professor Borty,
I'm sorry but currently my closets are overrun with clothes, shoes, purses and of course boots. However there is a rather large crawl space under my house, has water and lights already installed if you would be interested in that I can fix you up!

Aug 31 @ 11:06PM  
That sounds dandy Ms.Boots...

As you know ...I'm used to crawling around. Ash had me on all fours most of the day..when I lived with her several years ago...

I'll hop on my electric bike and should be there in about a week. I will ship my extensive panty collection to your don't bother buying any panties. I have the new improved singalong vibrating panties with plenty of insulation to prevent burning and chaffing....

Aug 31 @ 11:41PM  
No worse than my thoughts this morning (or rather yesterday morning) when he said he hoped we could stay friends, after all we've been friends so very long. I wished him well, the best of luck all the while thinking "I hope your dick rots and falls off" You know I posted this song the other day as a joke, but it so fits my mood today!!!


some days, I just gotta say ..... fuck you to the bastards that fucked with my mind !!

Nov 22 @ 5:33PM  
Ladybootscooter Offering you a big set of scotish shoulders to rest your head one and whispers softly in your ear all wil be right young lady the should is for as long as you need it

Nov 28 @ 7:20AM  
I had the same problem in the past so now I tell guys I meet that I'm always broke and living with relitives and I make up some sob story that it's cause the economy is bad. If the guy seems legit then I jump back and forth between being extremely wealthy to being dirt poor and let them wonder. I met a couple of guys on this site that wanted me for a sugar mama too. My number one rule, though, is they always come to me, I won't go to a guy.

Nov 28 @ 10:53AM  
Main difference is, I'm not going to lie to someone. No point. Eventually the truth will come out. I'm employed, but by the State. Sounds impressive, but in all reality, barely above poverty level. Yes, I do share a home with relatives. It started out to help her due to health problems and for someone to be with my son while I worked my second job at night. Seven years later, it's due to the bad economy. Not sure she or I either one could make it on our own right now. The whole point of this blog was that I had dodged yet another bad situation, before it could go anywhere. Been there, done that and used to have the t-shirt. Unfortunately, that too has been lost through the years.

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Turns out you really can't go home afterall