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Dick's Pixxx Number TWO

posted 1/9/2007 4:56:39 PM |
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tagged: review
  DickSlippery

It must be that time of the week, cuz I just got done watching some porn and I am dying 2 share it with U! This week I am reviewing the WCP production of Alexander Devoe’s She Got Ass 9, featuring Fire & Ice, Flower Tucei, Georgia Starr and Mr. Marcus. The production values on this flick are decent, so if big ol’ nasty ghetto booty is what U are craving this just might be the video 4 U! The bitches definitely aren’t the problem I have with this particular film.

Check it out…there’s what…six billion motherfuckers clinging on2 this rock as it hurtles through space? That means that saying there are ten billion things that will get a motherfucker off is probably a conservative estimate. We are all individuals with individual tastes…and there is nothing wrong with that. 4 whatever reason (I wuzn’t consulted during the making of this video) the producers decided 2 feature black guys doing mostly white bitches with a sister or two thrown in 4 good measure. Unfortunately, watching black guys fuck just isn’t my particular bend in the road. That’s not 2 imply it’s a bad thing if it happens 2 be Ur shit. I don’t know…maybe U are a black guy Urself or a chick that likes fucking black guys…in that case this may very well be the movie U have been waiting 4. Hell…U may even be another white dude that just gets off on seeing the contrast in colors. Again…if that is the case then this may be the movie 4 U. However…if U are in any way affiliated with the Ku Klux Klan or any other right-wing, pro-Aryan movement U may want 2 skip this one and just go bang Ur sister. Trust me…it’ll be a lot less aggravation 4 U 2 deal with in the long run.

That having been said…on 2 my review! First of all. let me say this movie has great porno movie music. It wuz scored by Stanzo D. and has all the right bumps in all the right places. But U don’t give a shit about the music, do U? Nope…what U want 2 know about is the pussy…am I right? Of course I am, so let’s get right 2 it! It begins with the sexy ass white girl doing a little strip tease 4 us. She wuz ok looking, I guess, but I could see right away that U could drive a greyhound bus up this bitch’s ass her hole wuz so wore out. Believe me…no one loves anal sex more than I do, but I’m here 2 watch this bitch fuck, not give her a colonoscopy. Anyway…after several minutes of some lame solo action she is joined by her companion. I will say this much 4 the brother…his dick is fucking HUGE! While he wuz taxing that shit from behind it looked like he wuz giving iot 2 her with a fucking billyclub or some shit! I’ll tell U right now, if I wuz a woman who really digs big cocks, I might have 2 reconsider my position on black dudes based on the size of this cat’s pecker! The bitch he wuz fucking certainly seemed 2 be enjoying it anyway! Still once he put that thing in her ass I’d had enough.

Still, I wuz hoping I could salvage something 2 keep this from being a total wash, so I started skipping 4ward hoping 2 find a bitch sexy enough 2 get me off even though she wuz involved in something I don’t really get N2. It happens…albeit rarely. Second scene is pretty much the same shit as the first. The girl wuz a little prettier and the cock wuz just as huge. I skipped 4ward again. Finally…something I can work with!

The next scene featured Fire & Ice. They are these two thick-ass sistas and the scenr began with the two of them playing with each other’s asses. And what asses these two have, let me tell U! These girls definitely got back!!! Unlike the white chicks I had seen so far on this video who all look pretty much like they are one donut away from being a fat bitch, these chicks carried their weight rather nicely. They looked…natural. It wuz cool…in fact, I wuz enjoying watching these two so much it didn’t even really bug me all that much when Dr. Darkdick showed up 2 begin plowing that pussy. The way they were talking shit 2 his ass while they fucked him more than made up 4 it, believe that!

The next scene featured a really pretty black girl who really knows her shit. She 2 managed 2 stay sexy during a decidedly un-sexy situation. But, unfortunately, not sexy enough 2 keep my attention, so I shot 4ward once more. That’s when I found her. Good god almighty this next bitch wuz fucking nasty! She had a sexy little butterfly tattooed just above a bubble butt any bitch I know would fucking kill 2 have. Plus, she had this nice, shaved pussy that managed 2 still look tasty even after old girl shoved a ten inch dildo up her ass! This wuz just what I wuz looking 4, and I took full advantage of it while I could! Finally, I blew my load and shut the damned thing off.

Once I wuz finished I wuz kinda surprised at just how much of this movie did get me off after all! Watching that tiny little blonde get banged in her ass wuz just the icing on the cake. Still, this one really isn’t my shit…much as it tried 2 be. It even came close 2 making me on convert, but in the end all I could give this one is TWO dancing bananas.

Keeping U posted,

DS

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Comments:

post a comment!

wtxman

Jan 9 @ 5:08PM  
All we are saying is give that peace of ass a chance My apologies to john lennon; fuck that he's dead. Wheres Straddles' money Bro?
LadyMaura

Jan 9 @ 5:19PM  
This sounds like one enjoyable hardcore porn! However, there are times when women need a little enticement beyond penetration. My recommendation for soft core would be Busty Cops 2.
On the upside: average looking women
Highpoint: the striptease by Glori Anne Gilbert is absolutely fantastic and the way this woman moves makes up for her lack of acting abilities.
Low point: there are many horribly done breast jobs (scarring, sagging, and seperation) and dental work is a necessity to further these young women's careers..
Climax:the winning factor is the talking llama within the first 15 minutes of this 2 hour flick.

The plot is very thin (it has something to do with train robberies and a missing whale). And though the story is hard to follow each scene is effortlessly tied together. Every scene but 2 or 3 is an orgy of women kissing, sucking, touching, and loving each other, some busty and some not very busty at all, but I think that's forgiveable. The men featured, well.. none are attractive, one is clearly gay, and one is VERY old. But no one really notices the men anway.


I rate it a 2 out of 5 for the laugh factor. A personal favorite if you enjoy your art with more clits than dicks.
DickSlippery

Jan 9 @ 5:46PM  
I earned that money, goddamnit! The fucker said he needed therapy, so I told him he wuz crazy and billed him $500 4 the hour (or any part therof).

DS
xSUCKERPUNCHx

Jan 9 @ 7:08PM  
It's all well and good to keep everyone 'posted'


But grammatically...jesus.

It's not a god damn text message!
DickSlippery

Jan 9 @ 7:38PM  
Ahhhh...it's been so long since we've had a narcoglyph newbie I've 4gotten how much fun they are!

Trust me, xSUCKERPUNCHx...U'll get used 2 it. U have no other choice! wtxman has even taken 2 using my narcoglyphs when giving out directions 2 his BOMB SHELTER (Jesus Christ...would U get over it already? It's a fucking cellar. Guy puts a roll of toilet paper, a can of chili (no crackers, though), a June 1977 copy of Penthouse and a six-pack of Lone Star in a goddamned hole in the ground in West Texas and calls it a bomb shelter! Give me a fucking break, already!) which may actually explain why no one can ever find the fucking place!

DS
StraddleMyNose

Jan 9 @ 7:40PM  
DS, you seem to be in desperate need of therapy!
DickSlippery

Jan 9 @ 7:46PM  
I'm not the one on here talking about eating people, dude. U know the old saying, "people who live in glass houses spend way 2 fucking much on windex. Go with aluminum siding. My cousin works 4 Sears. I can hook U up."

Or something like that.

DS

StraddleMyNose

Jan 9 @ 7:50PM  
Actually you are one of them said that you would eat someone in the comment you posted on that blog. lol Seems like you wouldn't have a problem with it, as to where I would. So yes, some therapy is needed for ya.
DickSlippery

Jan 9 @ 7:56PM  
I believe what I said wuz I would eat LadyM. A man would be crazy not 2 jump at the opportunity, quite frankly. If by chance I actually said something else...then...um...this is what I meant.

DS
StraddleMyNose

Jan 9 @ 8:02PM  
lol...No no no, nice try there, DS. LadyM hadn't even commented yet when you posted your comment. People, go read his comment on my "Cannibalism" blog.
DickSlippery

Jan 9 @ 8:14PM  
I'm not giving back the money. Either Ur just gonna have 2 chalk that one up 2 the game, or get it back from wtxman. It's his fucking cellar, anyway...I say that makes the shit HIS responsibility...not mine!

DS
StraddleMyNose

Jan 9 @ 8:31PM  
wtxman

Jan 10 @ 2:57AM  
Ok, so I'm busted by the sultan of sloppy slang, on the cellar thing. Yeah it's a frigging cellar, but haven't you heard of "marketing" Now nobody is gonna want to go to that shit hole in west texas. Some corrections however, I got a case of toilet paper (at a great price) from some guy outside the receiving dock of walmart, It's Hustler,not Penthouse, and Cosmo for the ladys. The money we saved on the TP we used to splurged on Samuel Adams so you could impress LadyM. Thats right we did that just for you. What kind of freakin journalist are you that you can't get this stuff right. Don't give a flying fuck at a donut about the cash bro, Straddle is beyond help; keep the rest of the cash,buy some good whiskey instead of that rot gut Jackie D.

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Dick's Pixxx Number TWO