When Forest Gump died, he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "Welcome, Forest. We've heard a lot about you." He continued, "Unfortunately, it's getting pretty crowded up here and we find that we now have to give people an entrance examination before we let them in." Related Image
"Okay," said Forest. "I hope it's not too hard. I've already been through a test. My momma used to say, 'Life is like a final exam. It's hard.' "
"Yes, Forest, I know. But this test is only three questions. Here they are."
1) Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'?"
2) How many seconds are in a year?
3) What is God's first name?
"Well, sir," said Forest, "The first one is easy. Which two days of the week begin with the letter 'T'? Today and Tomorrow."
St. Peter looked surprised and said, "Well, that wasn't the answer I was looking for, but you have a point. I give you credit for that answer."
"The next question," said Forest, "How many seconds are in a year? Twelve."
"Twelve?" said St. Peter, surprised and confused.
"Yes, sir. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ."
St. Peter interrupted him. "I see what you mean. I'll have to give you credit for that one, too."
"And the last question," said Forest, "What is God's first name? It's Andy."
"Andy?" said St. Peter, in shock. "How did you come up with 'Andy'?"
"I learned it in church. We used to sing about it." Forest broke into song, "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am His own."
St. Peter opened the gate to heaven and said, "Run, Forest, Run!"
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| Thai has probably been here before but it'a funny and I like Forest Gump! |
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everyonesvalentine
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Aug 15 @ 9:30AM
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that one i understood. good. now why didn't carter win in 1976 when it was
curse period??? a zero year. why didn't james g. blaine or william blaine
win back at the turn of the twentieth century. my theory is that in american
politics, the loser of the election is the real winner. the minority rules in a
democracy. hence one Judge can negate what 6 billion people have to say
with a starship in space. see. but then again why didn't gore beat bush?
shall we beat around the bush some more??? not that two birds in the hand
is worth more than one in the bush, but the burning bush of moses is probably
why. he is more 'open' and glasnostic to israel. why did obama beat mccallaine?
becuz he is young. why does everyone need 'protection'?? we'd die without it?
the apache survived without it. why is weeding the hardest work in the world
to do, yet is hardly rewarded at all, yet if you are a big fat lazy heir to a megafortune from megadaddy, you can screw around all day everyday.
get phucked up and phuck woman after woman. why should life be fair?
if it isn't. if you change all of reality, and make it what you want, what would
you have it be??? everything, just your way. have it your way, burger king,
the whoppers of whappers and whap music. whap on. should you go
to burger king, jack in the box, wendy's, macdonald's or dairy queen for
breakfast. i always have coffee and cigarettes for breakfast. and lunch and
dinner. i never lose weight though, oddly enuff. 
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Wordsofwit
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Aug 15 @ 9:58AM
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I saw Forrest Gump online here and sent him an email as I had to know why he disgusts everyone that sits down pee with his lewd and sleazy propositions. His reply reflected the philosophy of many online males. "Women are just like a box of chocolates. It doesn't matter which one you choose, as long as you get a piece."
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