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Daddy Doo Doo and Pappy Poo Poo

posted 7/27/2010 7:53:39 PM |
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I know I have posted some blogs that stink before and I must admit that I am a hypocrite as I have been known to bitch about others posting crappy blogs. Yet, here I am, posting my second shitty blog in two days.

My dad would take the Sunday paper into "his" bathroom, a half bath at the corner of the house off of the den. The den was where the kids' TV was. He would then camp out in there shitting and farting for 45 minutes. Unless I was sick or had a bad meal, I never spent more a few minutes on the pot in my life. But he really seemed to enjoy it. Other days were a normal routine. But there was just something about that Sunday shit.

When he came out, he would have a grin on his face and say something like, "It's going to be a hot time in the old town tonight!" The entire den would be stunk up within a minute. Within a minute after that, my mom would arrive on the scene with a can of air freshener.

I have known many women and most have similar tales of dear old dad. Did you ever notice tales of fumes fatale almost always emanate from dear old dad, rarely ever husbands or boyfriends? Maybe that is because our sense of smell is more acute when we are kids.

But it isn't always true that the poopetrator is dear old dad. One of the guys in my group going back 35 years is an exception that comes to mind. What that guy can do to a bathroom constitutes felonious assault on the nostrils. It is so foul that at holiday parties, he gets special privileges to use the bathroom off of the hosts' bedroom because Glade and Airwick are no match for this guy and the primary bathroom is not too far from the living room.

When I was married, he stayed with us for a while when he was going through tough economic times. He used the bathroom once that was adjacent to my 8 YO daughter's bedroom and the kid came into the kitchen bawling to her mother, tears streaming down her face, "Terry stunk up my bedroom!"

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Jul 27 @ 8:07PM  
So.....should I go with my Dad and his ice fishing? Or about how fast my sisters and I would tear out of the house for a while when we noticed him going into the bathroom with the newspaper? I'll go with both!

Ok, ice fishing. Back in the day, Dad would pack us all in the truck/camper on ice fishing trips. He and Mom in the cab of the truck, my sisters and I in the camper. Once on location, Dad got his gear set up, Mom would stay in the camper for the most part, wandering out once in a while. Well, eventually, Dad would want to "use" the camper...and it took only one time for my sisters and I to learn WHY Mom would then sit in the cab of the truck after one of Dad's "breaks" in the camper.

Ok, my parents house has only one bathroom, which is in the hall across from the living room. Any time my sisters and I saw Dad heading for the bathroom with a newspaper in hand, we would be on our way outside before he had the bathroom door shut. Didn't matter if it was cold or hot outside...we just knew that as soon as Dad came out of the bathroom, it was gonna stink! Yep, Mom was pretty quick with the air freshener on those occasions.

Jul 27 @ 9:40PM  
My father is/was the same way. With any funny memories which are few and far between: when I was living with him, there'd always be those moments where he would crack off a hot one and with exaggerated accusation, blame me or my sister.

And lets not even start on when someone had to use the toilet after him...

Jul 28 @ 1:23AM  
I guess farting & belching prior to a good shit is a good release for men away from the wives. I remember my dads deer lease cabin in Seguin , Tx was a let her rip atmosphere for all his friends & business associates. The biggest stinker was his friend who used a raccoon dick for a toothpick after a meal, & that man made everyone an early riser even for the ones who got drunk the night before.

Jul 28 @ 1:39AM  
The worst was when riding in the car with dad and he would put the window lock on and you would know what was coming next. He would make your eyes burn. My brother started to bring air freshioner with him on every car trip.

Jul 28 @ 5:02AM  
what a crock o shit.
Dads don't stink ..... .

here, pull my finger.


Jul 28 @ 6:36AM  
as I have been known to bitch about others posting crappy blogs


Jul 28 @ 2:20PM  
It wasn't my dad so much, it was my brother.. oh gawd that boy can stink up an entire house. Just yuck! Course, now that I'm getting older and have digestive issues.. I'm no rosebud. (thanks gawd for febreeze air freshener)

Jul 28 @ 8:08PM  
'm no rosebud

You are the first woman I ever heard openly admit it. Many times I have been with women that offended and got really pissed if one acknowledged reality and not pretend it didn't exist.

Jul 28 @ 8:46PM  

You are the first woman I ever heard openly admit it.


I just thought that no one would think it was "lady-like" to admit crackin off farts and would decrease my chances of getting a mate(as if chances were high anyway )

Jul 28 @ 10:14PM  
Everything that eats, poops.. it's simple law of nature. Why pretend I'm better than anyone else? Poop stinks..and anyone who says that theirs doesn't? Is lyin.

Farting on the other hand.. I fart out clouds of incense!

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Daddy Doo Doo and Pappy Poo Poo