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Let Me Get Straddle On Ya!!!

posted 7/26/2010 3:55:09 PM |
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  Wordsofwit

This one of those things that everyone has had to deal with at least once. It is always a bigger issue for women and always funnier inherently. It is inspired by Softie's blog today. In part, she tells of what appears to be a water heater on its last legs that will require the toilet being removed to replace. Imagine the possibilities?

So the question is...where is the weirdest place you had to poop?

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Blogs by Wordsofwit:
Summers With Little Brother - Tommy Tales
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Mouse Box 20 - Eek Versus Squeak
Daddy Doo Doo and Pappy Poo Poo
Let Me Get Straddle On Ya!!!
Wal-Mart and Bizarre People
Egotistical Screen Names - Repost
The Worst Meal
What was the most unusual thing that got you in trouble as a kid? - Repost


Comments:

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theSkwirl

Jul 26 @ 6:43PM  
In white out conditions in the middle of nowhere.. in four feet of snow. That'll frost ya!
flavorbuster

Jul 26 @ 7:16PM  
I've had to let the turtle out in many places throughout my life but for the most part managed to hold it in but I did hang my ass off the side of a twelve foot aluminum boat many miles down river in the middle of nowhere. You ask why I didn't just hit the bank & go in the woods. I didn't think anyone was looking that's why. No different than sneaking a leak in a swimming pool.
Wordsofwit

Jul 26 @ 7:47PM  
I have done the boat thing many times. If a few people comment, I will reveal mine. I have also opted in remote areas, to choose the water over squatting behind a tree (less stink) and less need to be concerned about wiping. But one time the result was floaters that the wind pushed in towards the beach leading to bitchy women. I had to grab some rocks, swim out and sink them!
onehornytoad69

Jul 26 @ 8:04PM  
Hell I'm Country WoW....!!!! Everywhere is Game!!!
No Shit...Ummmm... I can remember my Grand Dad ..Stopping in the middle of the road..and taking a Dump!!! (more than once!!)

Oh yeah....when I was a Child...I took a Crap "In" Daytona Beach!!! Yes in the Ocean !! (I wonder if anyone has seen my turd Floating?!!! )
Just one of those thangs..yanno? When ya gotta go..ya gotta go!
sugarnspice005

Jul 26 @ 8:12PM  
No different than sneaking a leak in a swimming pool.

And that is why I will not use a public swimming pool


You missing Straddle's blogs?

Weirdest place to poop? I was at an outdoor music festival, an all day affair. I remember it had some great bands...Ozzy, Night Ranger, Quiet Riot, Motley Crue, Triumph, and Ratt. Anyway....I had to "go" really bad.....and would ya know it...all the damn portajohns were in use!!!!! So, it was at a ski lodge....I just wandered over one of the slopes where no one would see me...and took care of business.

Hey...when ya gotta go...ya gotta go.
Wordsofwit

Jul 26 @ 8:17PM  
Hell I'm Country WoW

Women don't understand that sometimes a toilet or port-a-potty ain't an option. Do bears shit in the woods? Well yeah, and if you're in bear country, so do you!
Wordsofwit

Jul 26 @ 8:19PM  
And that is why I will not use a public swimming pool

Do you have any idea of what fish and critters doo in lakes and rivers?
flavorbuster

Jul 26 @ 8:22PM  
You missing Straddle's blogs?
Nope but I don't use public pools for the same reason.
sugarnspice005

Jul 26 @ 8:24PM  

Do you have any idea of what fish and critters doo in lakes and rivers?

I don't swim in the lakes or rivers either.

Actually, if I want to go swimming, my best friend has an inground pool...and since she is so meticulous, I know it's clean.
flavorbuster

Jul 26 @ 8:39PM  
Do you have any idea of what fish and critters doo in lakes and rivers?
Yep, they ate my shit. They along with crabs have been known to eat on people who have drowned so if you have eaten especially crab you might have done a little cannibalism & didn't know it.
Wordsofwit

Jul 26 @ 9:08PM  
Okay my story...and now for something completely different!

Over thirty years ago before I got married, a bud and I decided to go take in some rock and roll at a local club. We were smart enough to know one needed to eat first and we were both big time knife and fork men in our twenties with big appetites and small budgets. So we began our evening in Big D going to an all you can eat Mexican joint before partaking in wine (actually beer and mixed drinks), women (we hoped), and song. They made no money off of us.

We got there around 6:30 and wolfed all down until around 8:15. We arrived at the club a bit before 9:00. Within about a half hour, my internal ecosystem communicated to me that something was dreadfully wrong. What went in was on the expressway like a hell bound train rushing down the tracks towards the end of the line.

"Oh, shit (no kidding), you have about three minutes to make it to the bathroom," my instincts told me. They were wrong, it was less than two. I hustled through the crowd at a brisk walk, cheeks squeezed together toward the mens room quite a distance away.

It was packed with dudes! The stalls and urinals were filled with lines for each. I got in line for a stall but time was expiring. My body said, "You have thirty seconds." "Damn it! There is still a guy ahead of me in line, mother fucker!" 10, 9, 8, 7...fuck it! I pulled my pants down in front of over a dozen guys, just in the nick of time, to shit in the sink of a wash basin. Total poop soup! I heard laughter,disgust, and had the attention of everyone.

Once I finished, I turned on both faucets and ran it all down the drain using paper towels to wipe with. I then made a hasty exit, but someone ratted me out. I was intercepted by a bouncer and given the bums rush. I understood his POV and explained I had friend inside that needed to know. They were kind of enough to find him, but it took a while as around the time I got ejected, he was on the pot with the same problem.
sugarnspice005

Jul 26 @ 9:16PM  
OMG!!! That was some funny shit!! (no pun..........oh hell.....yeah it was intended! ) I would have never thought of that! But to get kicked out? Geez!!! No sympathy from the guys?

RJ53

Jul 26 @ 9:19PM  
There is a small list. LOL The men's room at the UN with someone standing guard at the door, in the woods at Mt Mitchell, and my all time favorite behind some shrubs at night in Central Park because the bathrooms there closed down at 7pm.
Wordsofwit

Jul 26 @ 9:30PM  
OMG!!! That was some funny shit!! (no pun..........oh hell.....yeah it was intended! )

Well, shit, literally, does happen and it can set its own schedule. Time waits for no one, and the same is true about shit on occasion. About half of the guys in the men's room thought it was funny. At least one person didn't and as far as I am concerned, he had a very shitty attitude. Some people have no empathy for a good man in bad times!
StraddleMyNose

Jul 27 @ 12:21AM  
You missing Straddle's blogs?
I'm sure a lot on here are.


I feel so flattered with the attention I get from time to time on here.....

To answer your question, Bruce, I say there has been no weird place that I have gone like that before.

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Let Me Get Straddle On Ya!!!