AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

Incompatible Music and Dating - Repost

posted 7/14/2010 12:31:18 PM |
0 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
  Wordsofwit

Originally posted 5/30/2009 1:11:25 PM

Music is still important to me but not nearly as much as it was in my teens and twenties. Music was integral to the social scene back then.

My question is this; did you ever enjoy the company of somebody you were dating but one or both people was into music the other one couldn't stand? Maybe you would go to a party or a club that one was into, only for the other to not be able to handle the loud rock or get bored to death by the country? I have, and in my youth it could easily be a deal breaker.

About a dozen years ago I had a girlfriend. We were great in the bedroom, kitchen, and going out to dinner. But that was it. We normally didn't get into music too much as there was virtually no middle ground. Once I came home from work and there were candles lit and she was in a black negligee. It was going to be a nice night because she was a very fun lady. After I got a shower and put on a robe that she had bought. She led me to a chair in the living room and gave me a glass of wine. I was a bit tired but enthused over the prospects for the evening. Then, in the candlelight, she went over and turned the CD on before retiring to the kitchen to prepare dinner...it was Kenny Rogers. Within about ten minutes I was asleep. She wasn't pleased. Many women appreciate an honest man but my explanation that, music that is romantic to one person is boring to another wasn't appreciated.

A few months later we decided to go to a movie. She wanted to see the new Star Trek flick, but tickets were sold out. That put her in a bad mood. We opted to go see Mars Attacks instead. It is a campy weird flick with an all star cast. It is sort of a War of the Worlds satire. The twist is that what killed the martians was Slim Whitman music. When a martian accidently heard it, his head exploded. I burst out laughing hysterically the first time it happened and so did several other people. She was pissed and offended, and failed to see what was funny. She seriously didn't get it. I explained to her that being "exposed to shitty music is fatal for them." It turns out she liked Slim Whitman. Within two weeks we were no longer dating.

There are some pretty good comments in the original post.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by Wordsofwit:
Mouse Box 20 - Eek Versus Squeak
Daddy Doo Doo and Pappy Poo Poo
Let Me Get Straddle On Ya!!!
Wal-Mart and Bizarre People
Egotistical Screen Names - Repost
The Worst Meal
What was the most unusual thing that got you in trouble as a kid? - Repost
I'm Getting Old. I Can Remember...
When going out, who pays? - Partial Repost
Work and Home Life
Baths and Showers
Another Dog Lover Video Plus Extras
Incompatible Music and Dating - Repost
Not Getting a Job Because You're too Ugly - Repost
Weird Names are Illegal in Some Countries
Here are some moldy jokes Part 2
Indecent Proposal
Here are some moldy jokes...
The Stink that Stunk the Stench that Stank
Requiem for a Dead Guy
High School Demographics
Stamps
A Woman Screams
Do Your Kids Relate to Your Music?
Fun Math Quiz


Comments:

post a comment!

StraddleMyNose

Jul 14 @ 12:40PM  
but one or both people was into music the other one couldn't stand?
Never really had that problem with all the women I have been with
1bunny629

Jul 14 @ 1:05PM  
Sometimes it is just better to have a sense of humor about things. People are too easily offended. Mars Attack was hysterical and the Slim killins were part of the dark humor in that particular movie. On the other hand Bruce, if ya had just let Kenny be Kenny you would have gotten what was intended for you.
My husband (at the time( was into all sorts of different music. Alot I had never heard. He taught me to broden my horizons and I am grateful for that. On th other hand he was a cd junkie and it had to be controlled; although he did use alot of finds from the library to do his own recording and that saved bunches.
Bottom line, it depends on what you can deal with and what you can't.
Wordsofwit

Jul 14 @ 1:15PM  
On the other hand Bruce, if ya had just let Kenny be Kenny you would have gotten what was intended for you.

Kenny was Kenny as in a lullaby I guess what was intended for me was sleep. She should have known better than to put his music on to begin with, but then again she was one of those people that even when doing something for you, it really was all about her.

Bottom line, it depends on what you can deal with and what you can't.

Yep, and add to that, the extent that you can tune it out and how long you have to endure it.

soft_touch938

Jul 14 @ 3:49PM  
but then again she was one of those people that even when doing something for you, it really was all about her.

No wonder you two couldn't make a go of it 'cause the same could be said about you I do believe.

Yeah I know....you don't agree so sue me....
KitKat25

Jul 14 @ 4:02PM  
did you ever enjoy the company of somebody you were dating but one or both people was into music the other one couldn't stand?

This has happened to me several times and it never was a huge problem. Adults can usually find a middle ground. I find that when this is a problem it's usually because a person has a very specific type of music they like...and they don't wish to try new music...or venture out of their comfort zone.

If they're like this with music...they would probably be like this in other parts of their life as well. JMHO.

Btw...I LOVE country music.

But...I also like rock, blues, jazz, classical, pop, easy listening, and oldies so it's all good.
sugarnspice005

Jul 14 @ 6:24PM  
In my younger days...yeah...music would have been a deal breaker as I loved my head banging music...Motley Crue, Poison, Ozzy, etc...and had no liking for dance music, pop, country (although I would listen to older artists like Hank Williams Sr., Johnny Cash, Marty Robbins, Loretta Lynn and Barbara Mandrell) and rap was just making it big..and I couldn't stand it back then.

Today...I like a little bit of everything, with the harder rock still being a favorite.
soft_touch938

Jul 14 @ 7:03PM  
Wayne liked piano...some of Liberace that wasn't classical. He loved Roger Williams or just instrumental easy listening and I did too.

But he hated country music and he made so much fun of it and he wasn't happy until I just gave it up entirely. I'll never do that again for any man...give up anything I like just to make a man happy.
B9CC1D

Jul 14 @ 7:37PM  
As an interesting aside, I've dated one opera and two choral singers. All had great taste in music and were...um...exceptionally vocal during romantic interludes. Maybe it's just me, but it could be a trend.
RJ53

Jul 14 @ 7:53PM  
Since I grew up in the south everyone I met in New York would just assume I was into country music. If I was interested in someone by the second date I would invite them to wherever I was playing. That shattered the country music illusion pretty fast. If they survived that and had not run for their life I would date them. It was funny to watch the look on their face when the girl they knew in jeans, t-shirt and braids walked out in black leather and we almost blew out the speakers. I remember one guy in particular who just sat there looking shell shocked and repeating "damn" over and over again when we took a break. We ended up dating for a time after I found out "damn" was not a bad thing. I had quite a few though who could not stand hard rock music and it was a no go. I still listen to metal so if they cannot deal with that it is probably a no go.
Wordsofwit

Jul 14 @ 11:55PM  
the same could be said about you I do believe

Is there a fart emoticon?
Wordsofwit

Jul 15 @ 12:11AM  
Many women are versatile, more so then men, generally. What I like, I enjoy. What I don't like, I don't enjoy. I had a career that exposed me to the best in the business in all genres of music. I can admire and appreciate their artisanship. An example would be Pavarotti. It was a wonderful privilege to experience his mastery. But it was not music I wanted to listen to and after 15 minutes I was bored.

On the stage, we had a saying, "Movies are life, theatre is is art, television is furniture, and opera is long."

In essence, music is how you feel about it. Different types of music trips different triggers in different ways with different people.
Wordsofwit

Jul 15 @ 12:41AM  
he hated country music and he made so much fun of it and he wasn't happy until I just gave it up entirely.

If you have a good relationship otherwise, it is a work around. But music is often the symbolic anchor of a person's culture and translates outwards. I think RJ's comment catches the essence. It may be a factor that is a symbol based upon a case by case basis.

For some, it is a minor consideration as it is not very important or they are versatile. For others, it is a major symbolic indicator of alignment in lifestyle compatibility. Though not dogmatic, I lean towards the latter. As it involves emotion and how one feels, there is not right or wrong, only degrees of alignment and compatibility.

It is one of those things to where if it is not a shared interest, let both people enjoy it by themselves or with friends and not subject the other person to it. Same goes with the TV. There is nothing wrong with two people watching two different shows in two different rooms.

Besides, today, even when traveling, the passenger can listen to what they want on their IPod while the driver listens to what they want on the radio. Accommodation is a wonderful thing!
theSkwirl

Jul 15 @ 1:39AM  
My musical tastes are so bizarre and varied that I think I can pretty much get along with anyone.. my ex husband, on the other hand believed there were two types of music, Country and Western.

I found it very stifling after a short time, I don't mind country music but I don't want a steady diet of anything for very long.

BTW.. as an aside; If I put on my black negligee and fix you a fine dinner... etc.. yes.. it is as much about me as it is about you. I don't care who we are.. that's how it is. We do nice things, we might believe we are altruistic about it..but in reality we expect a certain type of reciprocation. That's just the way we are.
Wordsofwit

Jul 15 @ 2:23AM  
If I put on my black negligee and fix you a fine dinner... etc.. yes.. it is as much about me as it is about you. I don't care who we are.. that's how it is. We do nice things, we might believe we are altruistic about it..but in reality we expect a certain type of reciprocation. That's just the way we are.

Yes, I agree, but you know those two old saying about "the best laid plans of mice and men" and "the weakest link in the chain"? Well the takeaway is pretty simple to me. If you know your man or your woman, you know their music. If you choose wisely based upon their, even your shared mutual interests, it is an additive. If not, you can queer the deal by bad selfish planning.

As far as I am concerned, under the circumstances, my being tired, the lights being low, and the shitty boring music queered the deal. I could have overcome the first two.

BTW, I did wake up and sort of had a power nap. Her dinner was wonderful. But the music was an issue. She was agitated that I fell asleep during it and could not understand how I could not like Kenny Rogers. It was a real big deal to her.

I finally, after a while, came out and said, "Honey, I ain't no cow crapper." I had suggested neutral radio stations in the car, no. Even turning off the radio didn't yield compromise. But as I said, everything she did for you was always all about her.

The fact that she found his music romantic and I found it boring revealed fissures in the relationship that would doom it. There was too much cultural variance to relate to beyond a plate and fork, and a dick and a hole (in her case three!).

That was my whole trip... there is something about a good looking woman on top riding my dick in her ass while doing herself with a vibrator that kind of transcends listening to Kenny Rogers...at least for a while. Over time...peace of mind is more important than piece of ass with silence as golden as the tie breaker.

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB02
Incompatible Music and Dating - Repost