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The Economy Is So Bad That......

posted 7/12/2010 7:50:08 AM |
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I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child ' commercials!

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

My ATM gave me an IOU!

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

They renamed Wall Street " Wal-Mart Street ."

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...

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post a comment!


Jul 12 @ 7:54AM  
These are pretty good and I have heard the vast majority on Jay Leno's monologues.

Jul 12 @ 10:12AM  
African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child ' commercials


Jul 12 @ 11:55AM  
Good ones

Jul 12 @ 12:51PM  

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.


Jul 12 @ 2:42PM  

Jul 12 @ 6:31PM  
The Economy Is So Bad That......

I don't know if people will find these amusing, but at least they are original jokes I am attempting that I made up.

When the Salvation Army called concerning donations, I asked them when I could expect delivery.

When Chinese children complain about the food their mother is serving, she says, "Think about all of the poor people in America".

The Federal government has qualified the US for foreign aid.

Kennel Ration is offering frosted kibbles as a breakfast cereal.

Affordable housing is a county jail.

A cow is worth more dead than I am.

Muggers are mugging muggers to make ends meet.

I needed $100.00 in cash and had to have it wired from China.

The doctor said I was as sound as a dollar and gave me up to six months to live.

Prostitutes are accepting food stamps as payment.

New home starts in urban areas are under bridges.

Larry Craig had to switch from the airport to the bus station to find a date.

I went grocery shopping and was in line with a full cart when the guy behind me asked, "Do you have the money to pay for all of that?" "Yes I do," I replied. He pulled a 9mm and said "Stick 'em up."

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The Economy Is So Bad That......