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Here are some moldy jokes Part 2

posted 7/1/2010 2:34:18 PM |
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  Wordsofwit

Last week I posted Here are some moldy jokes... There were 50 0f them. Here is the second installment of 25.

51. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
52. The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
53. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
54. Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
55. A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist.
56. It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
57. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
58. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
59. Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
60. I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
61. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
62. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
63. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
64. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
65. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
66. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
67. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
68. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
69. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
70. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
71. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
72. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
73. Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
74. When in doubt, mumble.
75. A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

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Comments:

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StraddleMyNose

Jul 1 @ 3:40PM  
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
sugarnspice005

Jul 1 @ 6:44PM  
52. The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

So true!

62. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.



73. Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.



75. A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

That is so true!!!!

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Here are some moldy jokes Part 2