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Like We Need Instructions???

posted 6/19/2010 7:40:08 AM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: fuck, funny, sunshine
  Sunshine79

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Anybody wanna fuck?

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Comments:

post a comment!

RevDocLove

Jun 19 @ 8:21AM  
Now that's some funny shit right there..I don't care who ya' are
JsGirl69

Jun 19 @ 10:53AM  

Thank you for the morning chuckle Sunshine!
How bout this one,found on my stroller.....
Remove child before folding
(but it saves room when ya toss em in the trunk!)
casuallylooking

Jun 19 @ 11:37AM  
And you know that somewhere...someone had to at least consider these things for there to be warnings against them.


I read a condom package once that said Remove from package before use.....
Well, duh, it might even fit a little better then too.
ShadowMale

Jun 19 @ 1:35PM  
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

Now that is just pure mean... you know they don't have a hand to raise...
1bunny629

Jun 19 @ 2:25PM  
Dear Rownta, I realize it is dangerous to iron my clothes while I have them on, so I make my husband wear them. signed...fond of a heated husband.
Dear Rowenta, I sometimes iron my shirt when in it cause it helps my chest cold. signed...one whose chest gets cold easily...
LadyRamRod

Jun 19 @ 4:50PM  
Thanks for reminding me
wstang69

Jun 19 @ 7:07PM  

Nina811

Jun 23 @ 3:36AM  
i liked all of these

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Like We Need Instructions???