Are you worried now about how to stay stressed? You'll have no trouble if you practice the following clinically proven methods:
NEVER EXERCISE. Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.
EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT. Hey, if cigarette smoke can't cleanse your system, a balanced diet isn't likely to.
GAIN WEIGHT. Work hard at staying at least 25 pounds over your recommended weight.
TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar, and cola will continue to do the job just fine !
GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM.
Let a few few friends who are willing to tolerate you that concern yourself
with friendships only if you have time, and you never have time.
If a few people persist in trying to stay your friend, avoid them !
PERSONALIZE ALL CRITICISM.
Any one who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, house, or car
is mounting a personal attack. Don't take time to listen, be offended, then return the attack !
MALE AND FEMALES ALIKE- BE MACHO.
Never ask for help,and if you want it done right, do it yourself !
BECOME A WORKAHOLIC.
Put work before anything else, and be sure to take work home evenings
and weekends..Keep reminding yourself that vacations are for sissies !
DISCARD GOOD MANAGEMENT SKILLS.
Schedule in more activities everyday than you can possibly get done
and then worry about it all whenever you get a chance !
Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress !
WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL.
Worry about the stock market, earthquakes, the approaching global warming, you know, all the big issues !
BECOME NOT ONLY A PERFECTIONIST, BUT SET IMPOSSIBLY HIGH STANDARDS....
and either beat yourself up, feel guilty, depressed, discouraged, and/or
inadequate when you don't meet them !
THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR.
Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it shouldn't be treated as one !
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