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A Quiet Little Voice

posted 5/28/2010 1:36:48 PM |
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  theSkwirl

I've got a shy, quiet little voice. No, not the one I speak with, that's not quiet nor shy. It's the voice in my head that says, "No, don't jump off that bridge!" or "It's time to shut up and be thought a fool rather than open your big fat mouth and remove all doubt.".

Sadly, it's such a shy, retiring and quiet voice, that I rarely hear it's warnings in time to avoid the fall out of my words.

Momma always told me, "You can catch more flies with Honey than with Vinegar." I don't particularly care for flies. I'd rather eat the honey than catch flies with it. Yeah, I know it's a metaphor. The principle remains the same though. I don't much care for flies.

I do try to be deliberate in my words and actions. Honest, I do. It's just that sometimes I'm not paying attention and just let go with whatever crosses my mind. Does that make me a bad person? Or just a human being who sometimes lets her emotions override her sense of decency? Maybe I am a bit acerbic? Too tough to chew and way too difficult to digest? I don't really have that answer for you.

In my world, I'm perfectly reasonable. I make sense to me. I understand what I mean and don't take my words personally. (If I were to start doing that, there's a rubber room and fancy jacket with my name on em.)

One thing I am NOT, is a Molly coddler. I refuse to be a cheerleader in the game of life. I was never much good with cheerleaders anyway. Did not understand the mentality. Rah! Rah! Rah! Fuck you!

Why is it that other people take what is said, and put their own spin on the words? What is wrong in their world that creates the feeling of being spoken down to or misjudged? A word is just a collection of sounds meant to convey an image, right? What makes a word a problem?

I know the answer to that question, but I'd like to hear your thoughts. Explain to me why, one person's words can affect so many other people's emotions.

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Blogs by theSkwirl:
Why It's Easier....
Keeping up with the Joneses
It's Time for Me to Come Clean!
Too Wound UP to Sleep!
Since Monday...
A Quiet Little Voice
For Alybai #8... eh.. who's counting?
Seven.. and I admit..
Six in a row... how far will she go?
Halfway point..


Comments:

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StraddleMyNose

May 28 @ 1:59PM  
Explain to me why, one person's words can affect so many other people's emotions
Can be a lot of reasons (good and bad) to why this is.....
soft_touch938

May 28 @ 2:03PM  
I make sense to me. I understand what I mean

It's because we...you 'n me 'n people like us...we just think too fast 'n our fingers can't take in and reproduce all those thoughts flyin' through our brains so we take short cuts 'n when we do that and are outspoken too...well...trouble brews there pretty fast.

Ya see...."they" get the short version and since we have the long version in our heads, we tend to think they should still be able to connect the dots. We read over what we wrote...makes sense to us and bam we hit post and next thing ya know....we got our tit in a wringer.

Then too, there's just people that live to fuck with other people's words just to stir shit.

Could be either...methinks.....
1bunny629

May 28 @ 2:13PM  
I hold baclk alot...I mean a whole lot...I can't say what I really want to. I did the other night...just had to do it. I get my strength from getting off work and being wound up from being there...it isn't moody it is uphoria! I still don't suggest it. If ya want to stick your foot in your mouth, ya better enjoy the fit cause it will be there for quite a while; when your words are heard they aren't quickly forgotten. I am not preaching to the choir cause, one they never listen. I am preaching to me cause I need to, over and over and over again. sometimes I forget what I have worked so hard to learn....
Ewe_Wish

May 28 @ 2:14PM  
I am not sure what brought this blog on .......and in truth its not important that i know...........unless my dear friend Skwirlly.........needs to share or vent to me.............so with out any knowledge of what I will respond...........and as like you my words may come out differently than intended or taken wrong..........

Gary once told me that how words came out were not always how I meant them.........and in truth that is so..........in my mind I may be saying something sweet.........and instead it is taken as me being abrupt, rude and outspoken.............I can not make people understand or want to understand me..........I can only hope they do........

I use to let things here hurt my feelings............if someone said something mean about me.......or lied about me.............I jumped in with all 4 hooves and confronted them..........no more............I have learned that it only matters if I let it..........and if someone doesn't like me...........it is indeed there loss........I know who I am and I happen to like me........that isn't to say if someone I truly loved here said something bad about me...........I wouldn't be hurt or question why it was said...........but for the most part..........the true friends I have here wouldn't do it.....................

You are a cheerleader whether you know it or not...........but like me...........you won't lie to boost anyone's ego.........but you will jump on the bandwagon and encourage people just as I do.........but I won't blow wind up anyone's skirt just to make them feel good.

Sometimes I do seem abrupt....its not in my nature to hurt peoples feelings, but I say what I feel........sometimes I should just keep my mouth shut and be thought a fool eh?

Ok I have rambled enough...........to answer your question........in my opinion............I think we tend to react to what others say..........even if we don't know them..........because it is something that has affected us personally...........some short coming we have within ourselves.........something that we feel "guilty" (not exactly the word I want..........) that is in our own lives........I guess the best way to put it is in an example............let's say someone writes a blog that says all fat women are stupid...........I could react to this because I know I am fat, I hate being fat........I am embarrassed by being fat.........furthermore not only do I hate being fat I am far from being stupid...........I am well educated and carry a fairly high IQ (not as high as yours tho lol) so I would be angered that someone would think I am dumb just because I am fat.........so that would make me react. Ok in all truth..........that would have made me react........today I don't give a shit............yes I still hate being fat...........but I really don't give a rats ass that someone else would have an opinion on that.............well at least someone I don't care about.

OK i am obviously into writing books for blog comments...........so I think I will just go get ready for my doctors appt...........before someone gets upset over the blog space I am taking up...............

Hope I answered your question............as far as my opinion goes LOL

Have a good day Sweetie.




onehornytoad69

May 28 @ 2:41PM  
Why is it that other people take what is said, and put their own spin on the words? What is wrong in their world that creates the feeling of being spoken down to or misjudged? A word is just a collection of sounds meant to convey an image, right? What makes a word a problem?
IDK....!!! I'm gonna take the advise that my friends offered...!!! If someone misunderstands something I said..that's their Problem!!!!!! (Unless I said it wrong!!! )
ummmm "Wanna Fuck"? (Did I say that right? )
theSkwirl

May 28 @ 2:45PM  
I said some things over at that other place. . you know that place? I tend to say what I think even if it's not popular.. you should see some of the hate mail that I get. Seriously.. you'd think I stepped on their right to be ignorant or something?

I've noticed a lot lately that people in general are taking offense to something that's not aimed at them, not really saying what it reads like etc... I dunno.. just questions in my head really.

I think that everyone who has replied is right to some extent.. especially the long version vs what I actually type or say. I get all the time that my tone says something wrong.. well.. nothings wrong.. I'm just verbalizing my thought process I guess.
NightOfOld

May 28 @ 3:29PM  

If ya need a hug Sam ? Bear in mind,....I won't let go easily. You might have to crack my nuts.
RJ53

May 28 @ 3:50PM  
I used to have a problem with things going straight from the brain and out of my mouth with no filter at all. I try to count to ten before I say or write something now but it does not always work. I think sometimes that we can be talking about anything in general and it might strike a nerve in someone. My grandfather always told me if someone gets that upset about something then it probably applies to them and they feel like you know something they do not want people to know about them. The most heat I have caught on here is when I was just stating an opinion on something which was not directed at anyone.

And that little voice in my head just shuts up and does not say a word most of the time. LOL
ynot7769

May 28 @ 5:07PM  
do i resemble this remark???????
sugarnspice005

May 28 @ 5:57PM  
Explain to me why, one person's words can affect so many other people's emotions.

I don't know, depends on are the words read? Heard? In reading, it is sometimes hard to decipher the "tone" of what is being said. I know I've said things in humor, and have had emails of "why did you say that?", or, "you weren't talking about me were you?", and, "is everything ok?". A lot of the reason why I use the little guys there---------->to the right.

Also, could be the mood of the reader/listener. Could be any number of things.
RevDocLove

May 28 @ 6:37PM  
Explain to me why, one person's words can affect so many other people's emotions.
Damned if I know Seems to me that if someone takes a word or two wrong,
that's their problem with insecurity or guilt or whatever
aftershox

May 28 @ 9:54PM  
Misunderstood

Words with hidden meanings
Covering up the pain
Truth does yearn for center stage
But denies itself again and again.

Friendship and smiles are so simple
Yet can elude the misunderstood heart
Let humor color my life with laughter
Let others see it as a well-intentioned form of art.
KitKat25

May 28 @ 10:09PM  
Explain to me why, one person's words can affect so many other people's emotions.

I'm not prying for more information...but this question is hard to answer without having any context as to what topic you were discussing...if you knew the people well...what you said...and how you stated your response. I can say that highly charged topics can bring out people's claws...yanno...kind of like feeding the cute lil' furry gremlins after midnight.

With me...it depends entirely on the person. I do not set out to start a fight...or to thrust my opinions onto those who might not want to hear it. I fly under the radar a lot...and this is generally the way I deal with people I don't know...and it works. It doesn't make for a very fun blogging experience though...which is why I hang my hat in Pervia.

If I know the person...and I like them...and respect their opinions...that's where things can sometimes get a bit complicated. Their words then have the ability to hurt my feelings if used in a careless way. Sugar's right when she cited tone...or using humor with your words...which is why I use those handy dandy emoticons. But I've recently found out that even those emoticons can be misunderstood.

I say be you...and surround yourself with healthy groups of people who respect you...and love you for who you are...and the opinions you have to offer. Toxic environments are a waste of time and bad for your health. Besides, I personally love outspoken people...and you Miss Skwirl are quite outspoken...and I think it's a wonderful quality to have.
theSkwirl

May 28 @ 10:27PM  
This seems to be a problem for me in almost every area of my life. People think I'm being mean ..maybe because I don't sugar coat, I don't play the you're ok game if I don't think you're ok. If I think there's a problem I address it forthrightly and with no wasted words. A long time ago I was a people pleaser.. I'm so over that.

Honestly, I believe that because I choose my wording very carefully, and I tend to use very short and concise sentences with them that they feel like I've turned off my compassion and am being cold. I don't feel that way .. I feel like I'm trying to make myself understood without a lot of fal-de-rol and blah blah blah.

You may be correct though, all of you, that it's a sense of "oh no, she sees through me" and guilt about the characteristics that I am discussing.

Hmmm interesting. Ya learn something new every day.

So.. if I say what I mean, and it hurts your feelers? Don't get buggy with me, just ask me what I'm talking about and why I said it the way that I did. There is a reason.. and I may not understand that it's causing you pain.
1bunny629

May 29 @ 3:21AM  
I have always found you to be diplomatically responsible. Thanks for being you and responding in a very mature manner. It takes a big heart to gather all your senses and not stab someone just cause they don't see it your way. Hugs...for being you!
casuallylooking

May 29 @ 10:00AM  
Sadly, it's such a shy, retiring and quiet voice, that I rarely hear it's warnings in time to avoid the fall out of my words.
I know that feeling well... I keep saying I need to buy a brain filter ...it might sometimes slow things down in there for me to have a moment to think about what I am going to say before I am hearing the words come out my mouth.

One thing I am NOT, is a Molly coddler. I refuse to be a cheerleader in the game of life. I was never much good with cheerleaders anyway. Did not understand the mentality.
Wait a minute.... I was a cheerleader in school ...does that count?
dmbchick420

May 29 @ 10:24AM  
I hear ya, Sam. I am misunderstood ALL the time, especially online. It's very frustrating for me. It's a lot of the reason why I don't blog anymore. Just tired of people taking what I say out of context or thinking it's all about them or something

Why is it that other people take what is said, and put their own spin on the words? What is wrong in their world that creates the feeling of being spoken down to or misjudged? A word is just a collection of sounds meant to convey an image, right? What makes a word a problem?

I have no idea
Cootiesprayer

May 30 @ 4:47PM  
I think for me any way...i try to understand what the person is saying if i don't i simply ask them to clarify much easier than getting pissed off...but those of us who know you realize that's what we love about ya..your honest even if we don't like it sometimes rofl...as far as other people, they should take the time to get to know ya then it would be much easier I think...I also agree with what everyone else said in this blog so far anyway. :O)
PeachyKeen

Jun 9 @ 1:37PM  
It's a bitch being misunderstood or for someone to tke our words and twist them into something we did not say. Your quiet, little voice speaks volumes and that's a great gift we benefit from here in Pervia.

Sometimes I say 'fuck 'em' if they don't get it, but I rarely say it out loud. I know the way I communicate is fraught with flaws, but I keep doing it thinking if I do it long enough and do my best to improve I just might get it right some of the time. However, I don't do it just to avoid hurting someone's feelings... I do it because I don't want my feelings hurt either. My deal is that I need to recognize that I am the one who controls my feelings... and it's my own little voice that hurts me more than others.

Sorry, got off track there... I don't care for flies either, so I avoid them as much as possible. I can get along with em' if I have too, but I choose not to hang with them whenever possible.

I could be wrong, but some folks are very insecure... they don't like to hear things that will shatter their core. It's frightening, so we have a tendency to say things, do knee jerks and lie to ourselves so we can feel better about ourselves... even for a wee moment.

Good blog!

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A Quiet Little Voice