# After you request sex she replies, "Wait 'til the Nyquil kicks in."
# Gets very upset when the ashtray falls off your ass.
# Actually answers when you ask "Who's your daddy?"
# Last time she screamed during sex was the first time she won at solitaire.
# Only moans during commercial breaks.
# Starts her fake orgasms during foreplay.
# Keeps trying to set you up with her friends.
# Runs for vacant Senate seat in New York.
# You are currently sitting backstage at the Springer show.
# Beginning to think she is only "playing" dead.
# During the act, she actually yelled out, "Oh, Baby, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda."
# Has suddenly started making you pay in advance.
# Her moans of delight discovered to actually be a .wav file.
# Instead of asking to leave her shirt on, she wants to leave her pants on too.
# Keeps asking "Are you SURE you're not gay?"
# Boredom? So that's why she keeps deflating!!
# Holds up a picture of the Playboy centerfold to hurry you along.
# Asks to be on top so she can balance her checkbook better.
# She yells out her own name.
# Bangs her head on the headboard BEFORE you begin.
 
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