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Is Disappointing Sex A Deal Breaker?

posted 5/26/2010 12:51:52 AM |
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  casuallylooking


Imagine you met someone whom you really liked spending time with, started seeing each other and you both wanted this relationship to grow into something special and permanent.

This wonderful person made you laugh, treated you good, you had mostly all the same view points....even about religion and politics.
And as time goes you could possibly see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person.
When they kissed you you felt the earth move and so much more......and then you had sex..... the worst sex that you could imagine.

Okay, so you figure it was just nerves because you just knew this person would be so much better and let's just say more talented.
After all you were usually pretty good about picking up on this sort of thing by their actions, and they have spoken a few times about how well their ex complimented them on the things they did, and how they give pleasing their partner their all.
You believed they were the type of person who would make sure their partner was completely satisfied.

So you can't wait until the next night when you are staying with him/her. It's going to be so much nicer this time.

Or Not.......... actually you are so glad that you both have to get up early for work so you can just go to sleep.

You try the next evening to approach the subject but before you can get to the point they say something like they know how much you liked what they did last night, and they seem to be quite proud of themself.

Would you stop them right there and tell them they were wrong...
Let it go thinking you can teach them....
Would it be a deal breaker in the relationship lasting.....
or would you just accept it for what it was.... or wasn't?

How important is good sex in your relationship to you if you have both agreed to only be with each other?

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Comments:

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StraddleMyNose

May 26 @ 1:01AM  
Loving that person you're with always comes first for me. Great sex is a huge bonus after that. Also, sharing a lot of intimate moments with your partner is always wonderful.
RJ53

May 26 @ 1:07AM  
It is not as important now as it used to be. There is a lot more to a relationship than sex and if I need to have an orgasm that bad, I would just use BOB (battery operated boyfriend) when they were not around. I might suggest we try something but I would not just come right out and say you did it wrong. Killing their ego is not going to enhance their performance in the bedroom. JMO
lunanegra

May 26 @ 1:50AM  
Not at all. I would just pray they were understanding enough and would want to be taught, like a trade off. I learn what they like and they learn what I like.
tassie1

May 26 @ 2:47AM  
soooo, you met my ex wife

want me to introduce you to my new wife
1bunny629

May 26 @ 2:57AM  
are you ok????
Wordsofwit

May 26 @ 5:22AM  
Sex seems to happen before love enters into is. If the sex is bad, it does tend to shorten the shelf life considerably. It is not nearly as important now.
sugarnspice005

May 26 @ 8:29AM  
Would depend on how attached to him I am emotionally. If I'm head over heels in love, I would want to talk about it, trade ideas...like Luna said, "I learn what they like and they learn what I like.

I never thought I'd see the day I'd say it, but, sex isn't the whole relationship, it's a definite bonus, but, a relationship is so much more than great sex. OMG!!!!!! I can't believe I just said that!

Ok...I've gotta get ready for work! bye!
LadieDarkStarr

May 26 @ 8:47AM  
It really depends!
If the person is assuming that they are a "sex god" of sorts and has confidence issues normally...it would be a long hard road to teach them. Also, some people just don't have a natural talent for that sex stuff LoL. Techniques can be learned, but carrying them out properly tends to be an inherent quality.
The more important question here... are YOU willing to spend the time and effort to teach AND do YOU have the patients to wait for perfection? If you're looking to spend the rest of your life with them (potentially) it could take the rest of your life for them to get it right.

And I don't know what I'm quoting but I know I've heard it some where before "Good sex is like air. When its around it's just around, taken for granted. When its gone, you'll die." or something like that. LoL
casuallylooking

May 26 @ 9:07AM  
DISCLAIMER... This is only a blog from a conversation I had with someone the other day.
This definitely has nothing to do with my personal sex life...or Griz.
LilGriz

May 26 @ 9:16AM  
Hmmmm, are you suggesting something??? Besides the fact its been a loooonnnngg time since we saw each other???

If you care about this relationship, this could be a great teaching moment. Sure, what your partner may have done to please someone else, it may not work for you. Instead of saying something like ... your sucking really sucked... show them what you like and vice versa. Take your time and learn from each other.




Ewe_Wish

May 26 @ 11:57AM  
Is Disappointing Sex A Deal Breaker?
God I hope not..........or my honey would drop me sometimes........When I am in pain, sex probably isn't as good as it is when I am feeling better............personally I think sometimes he would just say lets not cause I know your in pain............but hey pain or not........he still turns me on..........lol

Now if the sex is disappointing because one or the other just doesn't know what to do..........thats where communication comes in to help guide the other person..........you have to be careful with this..........you don't want to damage their ego............but saying things like........although this really feels good........how about we try this...........each person is different in what turns them on.......so what may work with one may not work with another..........so I think in any new relationship there has to be communication to teach each other what does really turn each other on..............

By the way..........since I got the new pain meds and am feeling better............I think my honey is going to send my doctor a thank you note.........
casuallylooking

May 26 @ 12:07PM  
are you ok????
Sweety, I'm doing fine....finally! lol
Thank you for asking..... and caring.


Hmmmm, are you suggesting something??? Besides the fact its been a loooonnnngg time since we saw each other???
I'm suggesting that I like the idea that you are taking vacation days when I get up there.... Been waay too long. But we will try to make up for lost time in 2 weeks.


since I got the new pain meds and am feeling better............I think my honey is going to send my doctor a thank you note.........
As soon as she unties him and allows him to get out of the bed.

onehornytoad69

May 26 @ 12:11PM  
Sex seems to happen before love enters into is. If the sex is bad, it does tend to shorten the shelf life considerably. It is not nearly as important now.
I've had that Happen!!!
But on the Other hand.....
I have gotten to know someone ..and had Feelings for her... the 1st Sex Sucked!!!(My Bad!!) But after a couple more times of trying...became Awesome!!! Hell..it later become the best I ever had!!!
Emotions,Attraction....Love...etc....all come into Play!!! If you give it time!!! Hell, they can make Bad sex Beautiful!!!
Ewe_Wish

May 26 @ 12:22PM  
As soon as she unties him and allows him to get out of the bed.
I will have you know I do not nor have I ever tied him to the bed................











He stays there willingly...........
1bunny629

May 26 @ 1:08PM  
Thanks for letting me know you are okie dokie! It worries me when ya write blogs like this...but I am in a worried state right now anyhoooo...so pay me no nevermind! Hugs, M
theSkwirl

May 26 @ 1:54PM  
Naw.. as long as they are teachable.. I am willing to show em how it's done.
straightup_9

May 26 @ 2:29PM  
First, let me clarify one thing.....

When it comes to sex, the WORST I ever had.....was Wonderful!!!!!

Now, if there's a problem in the bedroom, Then it should be discussed IN THE BEDROOM!...LOL...Believe me, nothing gets his attention more than making him STOP because he isn't doing it the way you like it......JMHO...
B9CC1D

May 26 @ 5:28PM  
Not if they are willing to learn. I've introduced many a novice to some activity or another (I could give you if-I-had-a-nickel stories about introducing girls to anal sex) and I've actually had women ask if they could sleep with me so they could learn how to be better in bed.

On the flip-side, I've slept with women who didn't seem to know where their own pussy was and didn't care. They mind that they were terrible, and didn't want to do anything to change that. In cases like that...hell yeah it's a deal breaker.

I don't tolerate deliberate ignorance well.
mrknowuwell

May 26 @ 6:54PM  
bad sex.............better than no sex
ShadowMale

May 27 @ 6:12AM  
Well... even bad sex is better than no sex..... but I can't say I have had bad sex really. Might have been for them.... but it was good for me
dmbchick420

May 27 @ 11:48AM  
Naw.. as long as they are teachable.. I am willing to show em how it's done.


I'm with Skwirl; however, if I try to teach and they don't learn, it is a deal breaker for me. I generally don't "fall in love" first and then have sex....sex first then love comes later, kinda along the lines of what Bruce said.

I have to have good sex in a relationship for it to work at this point in my life. I consider myself to be a very sexual being and I NEED sex and it has to be good.

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Is Disappointing Sex A Deal Breaker?