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Is Emotional Attachment Cheating?

posted 5/23/2010 11:02:06 PM |
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  casuallylooking


I have often heard it said that most people who stray from their relationships to someone else isn't doing it so much for the sex, but mostly for the emotional needs or attention they are lacking in their current relatiosnhip.

When someone is in a completely monogamous relationship with someone, do you think there is such a thing as emotional cheating with someone else?

And if you do, what is emotional cheating to you?
Which do you feel is worse, emotional or physical cheating?

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Comments:

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sugarnspice005

May 23 @ 11:07PM  
I'm too tired to think tonight, I'll come back to this tomorrow.

RJ53

May 23 @ 11:40PM  
First I would have to know what someone means by emotional cheating. Does this person love someone else or is it just a very strong friendship. There are degrees to everything.
B9CC1D

May 23 @ 11:47PM  
I have to point this out:

Why the fuck are you asking us?

This might sound rude, but one of the first things anyone should do in any relationship is hammer out the details with your partner.

Maybe they don't mind you sleeping around as long as they don't know about it.

Maybe they will be jealous if you so much as think about hugging someone else.

Maybe oral sex is OK...but vaginal penetration is unacceptable.

Maybe they are completely cool with you sleeping with their best friend as long as they wear a chicken suit.

Who knows?

Certainly not anyone that's a casual acquaintance here. Only you and your partner can resolve questions like this.
B9CC1D

May 23 @ 11:49PM  
Oh...and as a preemptive response to those who might point this out...I know the inherent flaw in this is that people lie. But the caveat there is that if you don't portray what you want truthfully and clearly then you shouldn't ever expect to get it.
casuallylooking

May 23 @ 11:59PM  
Why the fuck are you asking us?
Simply because I was asking peoples opinions and views on the matter.......

Only you and your partner can resolve questions like this.
Dude, it was just a question. My partner and I are quite happy.
We both know what the other wants and expects and are mutually agreed.

onehornytoad69

May 24 @ 12:20AM  
Why the fuck are you asking us?
Act right old Man!! Anyone... can ask anything here!!! That what friends Do!!!
Which do you feel is worse, emotional or physical cheating?
Either one is Very Bad! ..... Both hurt,.... very Deep!!!
B9CC1D

May 24 @ 12:24AM  
Sorry, that's why I stated:

This might sound rude, but

I kind of got the idea that this wasn't just something you were seeking personal help on. Otherwise you probably would have gone into more detail.

My point was that if someone comes to a site (even a non-adult site) and expects legitimate relationship help they are in more trouble than they know!

And my comment wasn't using the personal "you", but the collective "you" of "all of those people out there that do go to sites looking for resolution of their personal problems".

In other words, the best thing to do is what you already claim you have done: Communicate with the person you're in a relationship with. If that's not possible, then the need for professional help arises. Too many people use sites (like Yahoo Answers, Knol, or Wikki Answers) to excuse their own choices simply by choosing the answer they wanted instead of the one that will actually help them.
LJRite69

May 24 @ 12:24AM  
Oh...and as a preemptive response to those who might point this out...I know the inherent flaw in this is that people lie. But the caveat there is that if you don't portray what you want truthfully and clearly then you shouldn't ever expect to get it.


B9CC1D

May 24 @ 12:28AM  
Act right old Man!!

Okay already. Let me edit...

Why should someone ask anyone but their partner, a close friend, or a professional? One of the first things anyone should do in any relationship is hammer out the details with the person.

Maybe they don't mind you sleeping around as long as they don't know about it.

Maybe they will be jealous if you so much as think about hugging someone else.

Maybe oral sex is OK...but vaginal penetration is unacceptable.

Maybe they are completely cool with you sleeping with their best friend as long as they wear a Dick Cheney mask.

Who knows?

Certainly not anyone that's a casual acquaintance here. Only you and your partner can resolve questions like this.
ladybootscooter

May 24 @ 1:02AM  
Why the fuck are you asking us?

Not sure if someone has pointed this out to you lately, but you can be one rude asshole. IF you truly feel this way about giving an opinion on a matter........and anyone with any common sense whatsoever could see she was gathering opinions, not seeking free therapy, then why the FUCK would you attempt to answer it??



Certainly not anyone that's a casual acquaintance here

Secondly, not everyone here is a casual acquaintance. Some of us have been very good friends for many years. When you've been here a little longer and can treat people a little more civilly, they might actually ask you your opinion on matters as well.

ladybootscooter

May 24 @ 1:05AM  
Sorry T, got so fired up over his response I forgot to answer your questions to begin with. I feel either one is equally hurtful to a relationship. Loss of trust and feelings of betrayal will kill a relationship in a hurry.
onehornytoad69

May 24 @ 1:14AM  
OK... after LBS comment..I really have Gotten Horny!!!
Am I In Lust?
belle1010

May 24 @ 1:18AM  
I also feel that either one is equally hurtful.

I would also like to point out that the member that is being called out for his opinion (and we all have them) has been here for a lot longer than most. His name may have changed, but his views are the same. Not long ago there were many members of this site that hung on his every written word, now he's being called on the carpet for his[U][/U] opinion?????
Ewe_Wish

May 24 @ 1:25AM  
Well although I think both would hurt me...........I would rather see my SO fuck someone than fall in love with someone else. JMO

B9CC1D

May 24 @ 1:28AM  
No, Belle, they are right. I could have said it better.

As I tried to explain, I understood that the question was less personal and more hypothetical, so that's the way I answered. But for the sake of brevity (I've been accused in the past of saying too much) I may have used a pronoun that can be misinterpreted.

I don't think it's the opinion that is being challenged, but that they read the first two lines of it and thought it was a personal attack against casuallylooking.

Whatever. I've spoken my peace. I've never been here to win a popularity contest.
belle1010

May 24 @ 1:36AM  
No, Belle, they are right. I could have said it better

Point taken, and understood.
onehornytoad69

May 24 @ 1:36AM  
I know who he is....
His name may have changed, but his views are the same. Not long ago there were many members of this site that hung on his every written word, now he's being called on the carpet for his[U][/U] opinion?????
..Sweetie.... We Still do!!!
Can't we disagree? He is a Big man!!! He can take a challenge... Trust me...!!!
Wordsofwit

May 24 @ 8:18AM  
I am not completely sure that I understand the question. But I would say no, I don't think there is such a thing as emotional cheating. It almost seems like alienation of affection or when somebody gets enthralled and hangs on every word of a TV evangelist the way you explain it. Maybe it something like longing for somebody you can't have and you settled for your partner instead. I don't know. Like I said, I really don't understand the question.
sugarnspice005

May 24 @ 8:18AM  
Emotional cheating, to me, is one's partner telling you they love you, and then telling someone else they love them also, in a lover's way, not a "good friends" way. Again, this is open to interpretation. Like I said, this is MY way of seeing it.

I couldn't say which I would feel is worse because for me, both would be hurtful because even if it wasn't physical cheating....still, knowing my partner could be in love with someone else would hurt like hell. On the flip side...physical cheating...well, I admit, I'm selfish, and THAT I just don't share.


Yep...good night's sleep....I was able to answer.
ynot7769

May 24 @ 10:09AM  
i think if it were done TO ME..yes i'd be one pissed of mutha fucker.....


I would also like to point out that the member that is being called out for his opinion (and we all have them) has been here for a lot longer than most. His name may have changed, but his views are the same. Not long ago there were many members of this site that hung on his every written word, now he's being called on the carpet for his[U][/U] opinion?????

hey..for myself i never hung on his every word..i HUNG FROM A ROPE.... but i did read alot of what he wrote ..and i see where the lack of voice inflection and use of pronoun was taken wrong..hell I TOOK it wrong first read through and we ALL KNOW how patient n peaceful i am
girlcountry

May 24 @ 11:04AM  
Either one would hurt me...
dmbchick420

May 24 @ 11:19AM  
In my person opinion, if I found out that my significant other was "chatting" or exchanging emails with someone of the opposite sex and there was "love" there, i.e telling them they love each other or have deep emotional feelings towards that person, I define that as cheating.

When you are with someone and you love them and the relationship is supposed to be monogamous, you share that bound with that person only and if you go outside of that relationship to look for love somewhere else, I believe it is wrong. A relationship is not a relationship without honesty and trust in it.
dmbchick420

May 24 @ 11:20AM  
Crap....I didn't review my response...

"personal opinion"

surv6969

May 24 @ 1:34PM  
When you are with someone and you love them and the relationship is supposed to be monogamous, you share that bound with that person only and if you go outside of that relationship to look for love somewhere else, I believe it is wrong.
A relationship is not a relationship without honesty and trust in it
.

I agree with this completely.

I think they both suck. My ex was definately "emotionally" cheating on me and mostlikely physically cheating. I definately have to say the emotional cheating sucked a HELL of a lot more. I can forgive a lot of crap but the continual lying about shit............that SUCKS. There is having a friend of the opposite sex that you talk to and do stuff with and then there is having a "friend" of the opposite sex that you talk to and do stuff with but you feel you have to hide it from your partner. That is BULLSHIT..........
theSkwirl

May 24 @ 2:46PM  
If your relationship is supposed to be mutually exclusive, then yes, forming an emotional attachment to anyone else is cheating. It's a no no.

If you have a poly relationship then it's not cheating as long as all the partners know about and approve the relationship. If one does not approve, it's cheating and it's a no no.

Interesting question.. you're asking cuz you're tryin to figure out how to tell Griz that you love me .. right?
ynot7769

May 24 @ 3:04PM  
Interesting question.. you're asking cuz you're tryin to figure out how to tell Griz that you love me .. right?

ONLY YOU
casuallylooking

May 24 @ 3:05PM  
Interesting question.. you're asking cuz you're tryin to figure out how to tell Griz that you love me .. right?
SAM, you swore to me that you would wait til I found a way to break it to him and you wouldn't say anything until then...
Now I'll have to call him at work and explain it to him before he gets home and reads this. You know I didn't want it to be that way............

But yes, that was the reason for the blog.............


.
theSkwirl

May 24 @ 3:38PM  
Ohh.. ooops... spank me for being a naughty Skwirl?

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Is Emotional Attachment Cheating?