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If Your "Present" Self Could Go Back 20+ Years...

posted 5/20/2010 8:09:37 PM |
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tagged: people, life, wisdom, fun, advice

I was talking with a friend the other day and the topic of high school came up during our conversation. She made a comment..."if she had only known then what she knows today...she would have done such-and-such differently". This conversation got me to thinking about some of the past events in my life...and I began to play the "what if" game with myself. I know we all have events we wish we had handled I thought it might be interesting to play the "what if" game in Pervia today.

If your "present" self could go back 20+ years...what advice would you give your "past" self?

Me? I would go back to my high school years and give myself a pep talk about worrying...and tell myself to stop it! I would also encourage myself to embrace my outward beauty and not get so hung up on jealous superficial friends.

Why? Because back when I was in high school... most of the girls I was friends with were a size 5 or 7 and since I was a size 12 and weighed 140 pounds...some of their hurtful comments made me extremely insecure...and I stressed a lot about my size even though I was H/W/P for my height (5'8) and bone structure (Large). Thankfully, I didn't stress to the point of extreme dieting or anything like that...but it was just something that I could have lived without...and it would have made my life so much easier.

I would also tell myself to call and visit some of my older relatives more often because when a few of them passed was so difficult to deal with their deaths and I remember saying to myself...if only I'd spent more time with them.

Your turn...

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post a comment!


May 20 @ 8:19PM  
I would tell my younger self to be your own person (which I was in high school), and to have fun while you're still young. Never change as far as being a nice guy goes.

May 20 @ 8:27PM  
I would tell myself to stay away from certain people and not to get so caught up in other people's drama that it had a negative effect on my life.

May 20 @ 8:32PM  
Just 20 years? Naaaaaw...It would not have helped me, I was in Love and a Fool then!!!! 40 Years back would have helped!!!

May 20 @ 8:38PM  
If I could go back 20+ years?

I would have taken my parents offer on them helping to pay for my college. And, I would have taken it more serious back then.

I also would have made more time for my grandma on my mom's side....I was closest with her out of all my grandparents and it was devastating losing her so suddenly. She died in her sleep when she was 67.

That's about all really.

May 20 @ 8:43PM  
Well, twenty years ago is not probably far enough for me, but hey, look at my age. I think that I would have explored a much wider array of ways to save my marriage. I was divorced in 1990. She remarried to a man who treats her well, but I think she is unfulilled and so does my daughter.

In the nineties, I figured I could replicate our relationship, (which was great, the happiest years of my life). The result was a lot of good times with many wonderful good looking women that rarely had the magic. But there were memories and the great times of this era I would not trade for anything! Some of these included interludes with my daughter's friends much to her dismay. She forgave me, but banished them from her life. She did tell her mother who never forgot and something to the effect of, "He's always been sleazy!"

Yet, I call them "Pinocchio" relationships in that they aligned on paper but never developed beyond that. You can't put something there that isn't.

Anyway, once I realized I had lost my edge in the single world in my ability to compete, I felt that my window of opportunity to reach my objective had closed. It was what is was and it was time to let it ride. As the the Fleetwood Mack song says, it was time "to pick up the pieces and go home."

May 20 @ 9:07PM  
Nah, I'd just kick back and get baked with myself. I used to could do that and now I can't anymore.. I miss it. I think that the sum of my experiences has made me who I am now.. and frankly.. I'm happy with me at this point in my life. it's taken me 40 years to like me.. damned if I'd wanna change me.

May 20 @ 9:55PM  
I would have stopped myself from gettin married to one I did hoping that I would still have the same kids. They're awesome.

May 20 @ 9:57PM  
I would have told myself to buy into Microsoft and IBM. And pick the Bulls to win 6 championships.

Sorry about the second answer.

May 20 @ 10:07PM  
I think that the sum of my experiences has made me who I am now.. and frankly.. I'm happy with me at this point in my life. it's taken me 40 years to like me.. damned if I'd wanna change me.
I think the very same way as Ms Skwirl... I might want to change some people, but that's a totally different kettle of fish!

May 21 @ 12:46AM  
I woulda taken a hellava lot better care of myself physically. I would have focused a hellava lot less on men and way more on education/career. And most of all...I'd have been a hellava lot better mother to my kids.

May 21 @ 12:53AM  

I agree with Sam. I am who I am because of what I've done and been through.
Besides; Going back 20 yrs only takes me back to the age of 47.

May 21 @ 2:03AM  
I would go back and be your best friend!

May 21 @ 5:25AM  
dayum..... you wouldn't be safe in here for a start ....

May 21 @ 7:13AM  
Wow.......I don't have specific advice, but there are a few things I'd do over right!

May 21 @ 9:19AM  
I'd have to go back a little more'n 20 years but it would have to be
relocate to Panama instead of Florida
Other than that..I made my life, I can't change the past,
and live with what and who I am right now..

May 21 @ 9:45AM  
Well 20 yrs ago I had children in and I agree with those that said I am who I am today because of who I was..........but there are things that I would give advice on........

If i had to do it all over again..........I would spend more time building mud pies with my children.........I would spend more time with my mom and realizing she wasn't going to live forever.....I guess I would just have taken time to be grateful for what I had.

May 21 @ 10:01AM  

May 21 @ 10:04AM  
I should clarify I meant that for my 1st husband...not my current husband (although I have my days lol)

May 24 @ 9:25AM  
i wouldnt change a thing, except, i would do my damndest to find a cure, or some kind of early warning signal for cancer, so i wouldn't have lost my baby girl at 29 years old. yes, 29 but she was still my baby girl. i miss her 24/7, she's been gone for six years.

May 24 @ 9:39AM  
ooooops!!! You said 20 Plus years!!!! My Bad!!!!
I would have taken courses in HS that would have Helped me...and I would have went to College ...!!! I was a "Stupid Boy"!!!
I thought I was gonna go in the Military ..though me and my Pecker...Got me in trouble!!!

May 24 @ 10:13AM  
i'm gona take this and run a bit... for ME i need go back a bit further.and alot of folks here know diff amounts of my past..but the only one thing i KNOW i'd tell me to change....NOT SMOKE CIGGS the rest of the shit i went thru i guess i'd do again cause it all built me to the person i am now for better or worse depending who you are and how you see ME....

May 26 @ 2:41AM  
20 wouldn't of been any use to me, I'd of been just 8,lol

Now, 10 years back...

I'd of said, "Luna, look at this talent you have- cash in on it. Take your black ass and get thee hence to your local adult ed dept and get your GED then enroll in the Art Institute in Ft. Laud then wait for this show called Project Runway. If I see you still in bed sleeping your life away, I'm going to personally fuck you up, I promise. Stay away from C, he's just going to bring you down and leave you to rot in Gainesville while he runs amok in San Diego...don't...he doesn't love you, girl. Lastly, you are beautiful..yes. Don't let anyone tell you different. I love you."

P.S- Stay away from this thing called the Internet, okay? gives you cancer. Yeah. That's it.

May 26 @ 5:23PM  
would not change a thing.we would not be who we are today


Jul 6 @ 3:54AM  
I'd tell myself not to let anyone's opinion of me sway what I did, but stay on the course to where I wanted to be.

I wouldn't have listened to anyone's financial advice except my grandparents, who all lived through much harder times than I.

And I would have stayed away from a certain someone and never married her.

Jul 8 @ 5:10AM  
I would tell myself not to fuck up the things that matter most, and care more about the things that matter most - Wife and family, then career.

Jul 8 @ 5:16AM  
I would also tell myself to have as much sex as possible (safe sex, that is).

Jul 25 @ 3:13PM  
Regrets are a serious to just make friend with your past ghosts and move on. What if ....sad little phrase. What if we had the sense as a nation to not have voted in FDR in the first place back in the 30's...Would WWII have actually have happened? Personally I think not with the Japanese any way. What if can drive you insane.

Aug 6 @ 9:37PM  
i started high school at age 14. junioir high school was the best i'd ever had.
i shoulda run away and joined the circus, the french foreign legion or the marine
corps. i looked old for my age. i'd worked since i was 4. education is a great thing. but what is it good for??? not everyone is gonna be a lawyer, accountant
or doctor. or successful businessperson. a car accident two weeks after age
16, changed it all, just like that. so.....the drunk driver hit us at 80-100 mph fleeing the l.a.p.d. at shoup and sherman way as he had been robbing liquor
stores that saturday night all over the san fernando valley. so i had to leave
high school for almost a year, then come back 'later'.

Jan 29 @ 3:29PM  
First, high school was almost 40 years ago for me, so set the wayback machine on "high." I would tell myself a lot of things -mainly about what I chose to do for a living. Then I would tell myself about being closer to family, in every way. Then I would tell me all about women, and how to be the kind of man women want, without being a lying shit. I would alsotell myself to avoid the girl that gave me the crabs back in 1982. I would then come back to the present. I wonder if I would have new memories about the women I knew???

Feb 9 @ 12:29PM  
I think I might have to give myself a few stock tips. :)

Mar 14 @ 12:37AM  
well 20 years ago I'd be 3 so I don't think anything I could say myself would understand lmao

Apr 23 @ 6:29PM  
STOP!!!!! That's not a real woman!

Apr 26 @ 4:19AM  
Well 20 years ago, I was 15. Here is what I would of done:

1.) Started to try and push myself out of my shell more often (I was really shy.)
2.) Put more of an effort into school.
3.) Gotten a student loan and go to college, (and yes I do know it is not to late, thinking about it.)
4.) Tell Ray, my best guy friend that we would never be more then friends, instead of letting him think for years that there would be a chance.
5.) Acknowledge my crush on 1 of my girl friends, and (try) to ask her out. Though she looked and acted really butch, I have no idea to this day if she was even into girls.
6.) Come out to family and friends sooner, and stick with what I said.
7.)Quited trying to date guys sooner then I did. (Finally stopped alittle over a year ago. heh.)
8.) Start hanging with the LGBT community sooner!
9.) Moved OUT!
10) Learn how to sew sooner. (Just learning now.)

LOL. thats all I can think of

Apr 30 @ 9:29PM  
Get out of the military before it is too late and take your friend's offer up on buying into that bar in Thailand with him and to hell with going home! Not worth it!

May 15 @ 8:32PM  

Well My present has been invited to go back and reminisce.

40year High school reunion! Am I still alive???

I am fine with my present... my past was painful in places...

I thought about it, told a few friends about it...
And one younger, very pretty (so nice to look at, tall thin, chiseled cheek bones and beautiful black hair... sigh) , and really good with his hands...

said "YES YES YES GO, and I want to be your date! "

"And the other woman will whisper "Cougar" when we walk by".

Does this mean I have to buy a dress... or can I just dress like I would have back then... torn in inappropriate places bell bottom hiphuggers..
no bra...flip flops, cowboy boots or no shoes...
and of course the long straight middle parted Marsha Brady hair?

I only went to one odd numbered one before... and I couldn't remember anything or one... but apparently a more than a few remembered me? on site.

But all the old people I meet can remember 20+ years ago like yesterday, they just have trouble remembering yesterdays lunch

So if I can remember when I get there, does that mean I'm officially old...
or therapy is working

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If Your "Present" Self Could Go Back 20+ Years...