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Family Matters *sigh*

posted 5/19/2010 9:30:42 PM |
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As you may not know, receatly I have found myself in the middle of a vast depression. The school year is over and I now have somewhat more free time, so I might as well get things out there.

You see, in my family I am the middle child. I already mentioned my older brother but I haven t told you about my 11-year old adopted sister. When I was still living with my parents, I was always forced to take care of her since everyone else was working. Howver, all of the effort was worth it because I was the only one she truely acknowlaged as family. She hated my mom and dad because they where never around and she was indifferent with my brother. She would always beg me to take her fun places like the park or the animal shelter to see the puppies and kittens. I love her very much and am happy that she s in my life since I don t exactly have the best relationship with my mother and father.

Needless to say, when I decided to move out of the house she was devistated. I remember her saying that she hated me for leaving. I know that this would happen from the very second the thought of moving out entered my head. Soon enough, she forgave me though. I purposed that she could move in with me and my room mates. The only ones who weren t in favor of this where my parents of course and swiftly denied even considering this. I still do everything in my power to spend time with her and be the best big brother I can, but even she tell me that it just isn t the same.

Not too long ago, my parents got a divorce and my sister went to live with my mother. I was afraid of this outcome because my mother has clear problem with alcohol. One night at about 11:30, I was working and got a call from my mothers phone. On the other end was my sister. She was crying and between her sobs I could hear her say that our mom was very drunk and she was afraid. I asked my supervisor to let me leave and then drove as quickly as I could without breaking the law to my moms appartment where I saw my sister waiting outside holding her school backpack and the stuffed rabbit I gave her. I told her she could stay at my place as long as she wanted and she replied with "I want to say with you, Kevin. I hate mommy." I then told her "I hate her too... "

The next morning I got a call from my mom and she angrily asked "Where s my daughter!?" I told her that she was with me and that she would leave when she wants to. She then demanded that I bring her back or else she ll call the police. I told her to go ahead and call them and I'll let them know how wasted she gets and how much of an unfit mother she is.

The cops showed up at my place that afternoon. They questioned me, my room mates and my sister and after their investigation they said they where going to my mothers appartment. That night I got another call, from my father this time. He told me that my mother has been arrested and that he will gain coustody of my sister. I really didn t know what to say or how to feel. I was simply, blank. I remember my father saying I had a feeling something like this might happen. I m just glad that no one was hurt . Maybe not on the outside, but on the inside everyone was dying, especially me. I could literatly feel my family splitting apart in the worst possible way. I know I didn t have the best parents but it was painful none the less. My mother in jail, father away and alone, my big brother doing god knows what in New York and my innocent littler sister cought in the middle of it all. After my sister left to stay with my dad, I could feel myself becomming more
and more distant from the world. I just went through my daily chores like a zombie until eventually, the depression kicked in. I honestly wasn t sure why I was so upset, but that's how I felt.

And that s basically it. I know it may sound a bit dramatized but trust me, this is no soap opera. Whatever, I need a blunt.

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May 19 @ 9:48PM  
You are old enough, are you financially secure enough to petition the court to let your sister stay with you?

I'm really sorry for all the hell your parents have put you all through. It's not right. I might should put this in a private email, but you shared your story with us.. I'm going to share my reply as well.

I hope that you will get professional help for the depression. it's a cancer on your soul. It's not something to take lightly. Seek help.

There's no easy answer to this situation, unfortunately, but I'll say a prayer for you and your sister and hope that somehow things come right.


May 19 @ 9:57PM  
Yes, this a tough one and not uncommon. The only thing I can suggest is to be there for your sister where ever she goes. Sometimes people change and if you have didn't have any relationship with your dad, perhaps, now is a time to explore it. People can change over time and there may be an opening to get the know the man. Yes, my dear, this is some very tepid advice. Just do what you feel is right.

May 19 @ 10:19PM  
You are old enough, are you financially secure enough to petition the court to let your sister stay with you?

I second this. Reminds me of my aunt informally "adopting" and raising my cousins two respective children since both of my cousins were two drug-addled failures, both being in and out of jail. One in particular being a prostitute with a clear case of untreated mental illness who before my aunt took her son, dragged him along when she went selling herself.

The world is so fucked up, and I'm sad. Sorry you're in the middle of it.

May 19 @ 10:37PM  
You are old enough, are you financially secure enough to petition the court to let your sister stay with you?

Like Luna, I agree with this. If you are financially secure, try to petition the court. Or, like WoW suggested, try to work things out with your dad.

So sorry to see this turmoil you and your sister are going through. I really hope it all works out for both of you. And take Skwirls advice on the depression...don't ignore it.

I wish you all the best.

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Family Matters *sigh*