I,the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
* I do physical labour * I work at great depths * I work head first * I do not get RDO's, weekends off or public holidays * I work in a damp environment * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation * I work in high temperatures * My work exposes me to contagious diseases
Response from People & Quality:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
* You do not work 8 hours straight * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods * You do not always follow the order of the management team * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas * You take a lot of non-rostered breaks * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift * You don't always observe OH&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective outfits * You don't wait till pension age before retiring * You don't like working double shifts * You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.
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