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The Bachelor Commandments

posted 5/18/2010 7:47:11 AM |
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  RevDocLove


1. Thou shalt always fool around on your girlfriend (that way when she dumps you you can always get the last laugh).
2. Thou shalt not hose thy girlfriend's friends unless you're sure you can get away with it AND you do it in her bed.
3. Thou shalt never spend more than $100 without first getting in her pants.
4. Thou shalt never marry the first girl you hose after getting out of a "slump".
5. Thou shalt never admit to being in a slump, it is always a "lull".
6. Thou shalt always have beer in the fridge.
7. Thou shalt always blow off your girlfriend at least once a month to get drunk with your buddies.
8. Thou shalt always forget to call when performing the previous commandment.
9. Thou shalt never admit to "hogging," it is always "a temporary alcohol induced standards derating".
10. Thou shalt never go on a blind date with someone described as having "a good personality".
11. Thou shalt never turn down steady pussy until it violates number four or number ten.
12. Thou shalt never eat anything high in fiber or low in cholesterol.
13. Thou shalt never drink non-alcoholic beer.
14. Thou shalt never covet thy neighbor's wife unless she covets back.
15. Thou shalt always leave the seat up.


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Comments:

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wstang69

May 18 @ 11:17AM  
dang! does it mean I have to give up my bachlor status for not following the Commandments?

Needed a good laugh
justme4u

May 18 @ 12:16PM  
sugarnspice005

May 18 @ 1:59PM  
You like being a bachelor huh?
Ewe_Wish

May 18 @ 2:04PM  
Well the only one I can completely agree with is:

13. Thou shalt never drink non-alcoholic beer.
Thats like drinking decaffeinated coffee and eating diabetic chocolate...........not as much fun if the shit is healthy

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The Bachelor Commandments