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Still Drawing a Blank...

posted 1/4/2007 9:42:49 PM |
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I still haven’t got dick 2 blog about. It’s beginning 2 get on my nerves. I feel like everyone’s going 2 4get who the fuck I am or something. Insecure of me, I know. That’s gotta be a pussy magnet, huh? I won’t be able 2 keep the bitches off me once they find out I’m insecure. Now if I could just learn 2 wet the bed, that combined with my mommy issues and fear of commitment ought 2 make me THE SEXIEST MAN IN AMERICA! Thank god I’m married.

It’s not as if I haven’t tried 2 blog. I have. All I got 4 my efforts were page after page of fucking drivel. It sucks. Normally I just try 2 give y’all my take on things. How I see the world around me. This shit just sucked. It wuzn’t even funny. I ask U, what is the goddamned point if it isn’t even fucking funny? 2 share? 2 express our thoughts and feelings? Oh, please! What is this… the fucking New Zoo Review? If I’m not laughing it better be becuz I’m 2 busy looking at somebody’s tits. No, B…that doesn’t mean I want U 2 send me a picture of Ur tits. I could hear U as I wrote it.

I tried 2 blog about Saddam Hussein’s hanging. I watched it ( if U are interested…U sick fucks!). What a fucking trip that wuz. I’d never seen someone hanged B4 (when it’s a person they say hanged, not hung. That’s becuz Saddam Hussein wuz hung means something entirely different. Fucking English.) and wuzn’t as prepared 4 it as I had thought I wuz. It shocked me, which shocks me even more. I think I’m done watching executions now.

I tossed the other blog becuz I felt I started 2 sound pro-Saddam or anti-capital punishment or something. Neither is the case. If ever there wuz a motherfucker who deserved 2 have his neck stretched it wuz that cocksucker. He didn’t even have the balls 2 go out like a true dictator. He should have either died evading capture or shot his own damn self in that hole we found him in. I’m sure he could have found some crazed Saddam groupie 2 play Eva Braun of the desert with his insane ass. Fuck…there’s probably a bitch out there fucked up enough 2 do it now! wtxman probably has her in his garage even as we speak. The problem is finding one talented enough 2 do a one-woman show, being as the part of Saddam Hussein is now being played by a fucking dead guy. Plus, she would have 2 be strong becuz it’s no picnic lugging around 180 pounds of dead (and I do mean dead) weight. So, if U know any chicks that are fucked up enough 2 do sick shit like narcolepsy, talented enough 2 play the part and also abnormally strong let me know. She has 2 be willing 2 show her tits, though. Otherwise what’s the point?

We’ll put the shit on the internet and get paid. Watch and see.

Keeping U posted…


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post a comment!


Jan 4 @ 9:57PM  

That has to be the sickest, most potent, fukkin' off-the-hook, gregarious, well-thought-out blog I've ever had the pleasure of fukkin' reading!!!
GAWD-damn dude --- that fukkin' ROCKS!!!


Jan 4 @ 10:07PM  
Don't feel bad DS, all great poets and writers through out history felt the way you do. If it's any consulation, when you die you will receive all the fame and allocades you deserve.

Jan 4 @ 10:08PM  
Oh I forgot; another well deserved kudo.

Jan 4 @ 10:11PM  
The look on Ur face as U hold that cup 2wards me and contemplate my death is making me kinda nervous, bro. I musta come close with the crazy broad in the garage crack, huh? It wuz nothing. Really...I wuz just playing the odds. I have no specific knowledge of any felonious behavior...


Jan 4 @ 10:17PM  
DS...sweetie....its necrophilia...narcolepsy is sleeping...necrophilia is screwing with dead. You might feel insecure sometimes...we all do. I think you have a lot to offer. Your opinions and your thoughts...give others including myself...something to consider. Have a beer and a cyber hug....HUG. Was it good for you?..


Jan 4 @ 10:36PM  
An empty slate means infinite possibilities.

Jan 4 @ 10:41PM  
There's always some humor there in your blogs DS, and that's a good thing.

Jan 4 @ 10:50PM  
Would it help if I sent you a pic sans pink bra?

You made me laugh today - NOT an easy thing to do. I appreciated this mindless, senseless blog.

Jan 4 @ 10:53PM  
Ok, she sleeps with a dead guy. That's what I said. Isn't that what I said? Yeah...that's what I said. Now...what were U saying?

As U can see my ego won't allow me 2 just humbly thank U 4 correcting my blunder (I fucking knew that shit, 2!)

Wait a minute. Who said that?


Jan 4 @ 10:56PM  
Sxze...I think Ur holding out on me. Probably all a part of Ur scheme 2 get me 2 Wisconsin 2 take the damned picture myself. I challenge U 2 prove me wrong!


Jan 4 @ 10:58PM  
DS I don't have a garage, but I do have a storage shed with an underground bunker! Hope that's ok with you.

Jan 4 @ 11:25PM  

Yea...that's you...completely incompetent and insecure....have you not had a good hard fuck lately??? Something about you being insecure...just doesn't fly with me crazy....but what the fuck do I know? I'm just some naive broad from Minnesota..... oh....and this blog....what a sleeper...don't you have anything better you can pull out of your ass? C'mon man....STEP have let me down...YET AGAIN......

Jan 5 @ 12:22AM  
I challenge U 2 prove me wrong!

Okay - if I don't send you a pick then you're "calling my bluff"; if I do send one you've successfully suckered me into sending you a pic...either way, I'm kind of fucked, right? I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't...

She's your adolescent dream
School boy stuff
A sticky sweet romance
And she makes you want to scream
Wishing you could get inside her pants
So you fantasize away
While you're squeezing her
You thought you heard her say

Good girls don't, I should be telling you
Good girls don't, I should be telling you
Good girls don't, but I do!

Good Girls Don't
The Knack

I'll pick you up at the airport...

Jan 5 @ 4:05AM  
I think this is just DS's ploy to get women to send him tit pictures!

Jan 5 @ 5:47AM  
DAMN!!! She's obviously getting wise 2 my plan! I may have 2 make some adjustments... I know wtxman has a fucking dungeon or cellar or crawlspace or whatever...that may be useful. Now, if only B can get a dancing bear everything will be back on track!


Jan 5 @ 2:29PM  
I have been reading these blogs for a couple weeks now and I must admit that DS is one of my favorites to read. Even the mindlessness of the last couple......hahaha! I want to thank you DS for making me laugh regularly.

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