AddThis Social Bookmark Button
Free Dating

Slippin Round the Dial with Dick

posted 5/3/2010 3:45:24 PM |
3 kudosgive kudos what's this?
    report abuse
tagged: whig
  DickSlippery

Look…I’m not rich (that’s really kinda funny if U happen 2 actually know me…), so I have this sort of aversion 2 paying 4 shit I feel like I can get 4 free if I just apply myself. That’s why I never pay 4 hookers or television. It just seems wasteful 2 me, I guess. In either case, the only thing Ur gonna get 4 Ur money is fucked.

So, I’m surfing along through the channels the other day (remember this is broadcast we’re talking about here. It was really a lot closer 2 wading…) and I see this fucking shit on Tyra that blew my goddamn mind. Tyra was telling some young broad about how she used 2 be abused by some asshole and the girl (who just so happened 2 be being abused, btw) began crying becuz she didn’t think that should ever happen 2 anyone as pretty, smart or talented as Tyra. Tyra explained how this should NEVER happen 2 any girl, and her reply was something 2 the effect of it duznt matter cuz I’m not pretty, smart or special.

OMFG what is wrong with U bitches? First of all, the girl wasn’t that unattractive. I mean, the bitch wuznt Tyra pretty, but with $2500 worth of hair extensions, cosmetics and clothing she may very well turn out 2 be that fucking pretty, who fucking knows? But, wtf, even dumb-as-all-shit ugly bitches (no need 2 name names – U know who U are. If not…no worries. The rest of us know who U are…) don’t deserve 2 get their asses whipped!

I wuz really beginning 2 get all worked up, so I grabbed the remote and clicked it over 2 Channel 40, where it took a little less than three minutes 4 me 2 figure out that I am, in fact, NOT smarter than a fucking fifth grader. Yeah? Well, fuck U, Einstein! Answer this one 4 me, smartass! Which one of the two of us is more likely 2 bang Ur mom?

I clicked over 2 Channel 58 just in time 2 catch Maury Povich informing some cat named Jellybean that HE IS THE FATHER!!!, which under normal circumstances would be kinda funny, right? Except that I’m pretty sure the broad that Jellybean had got knocked up wuz my ex old lady.

So, that got me all pissed off all over again and I grabbed the remote and clicked it over 2 Channel 3. There Dr. Oz (where’d this clown get his degree anyway? Somewhere over the motherfucking rainbow?) wuz explaining 2 a roomful of 50 year-old women how penis pumps really can be fun with proper lighting, the right accessories and a full frontal lobotomy!

Well, 2 be honest that wuz just depressing, so I clicked it over 2 Channel 10 where some clown really did need 2 use a lifeline 2 answer that a lantern with a wind screen wuz called a hurricane lamp. Really…are U serious? Cuz I know a fifth grader that coulda knocked that shit out the fucking box!

I clicked it on over 2 Channel 13 and saw it was showing Dr. Phil, who I am pretty sure attended the same med school in Mozambique as Dr. Oz, so I changed the channel as quickly as I possibly could. 2 be perfectly honest, I had my fill of that shit when I learned how 2 bedazzle my penis pump earlier.

The next channel I landed on was 19. Channel 19 is the local Spanish TV station. Finally!! Something worth watching! I haven’t a clue what they were talking about, but I do know those Mexican girls can fill the shit out of a push-up bra! Since all I was really trying 2 do was find something 2 gawk at while I waxed my noodle anyway, I set the remote down and whipped my dick out! I rubbed one out and then rushed 2 keep on

Keeping U posted

DS

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

   read more blogs!

Blogs by DickSlippery:
If it walks like a duck...
Is this better, goddamnit???
Are U Fucking Serious???
It really cant be just me...can it?
EX-WIVES, PICK-UP TRUCKS AND WATERMELON WHINE
just some shit 2 think about...
Where have I been???? Where have U been is more like it!!!
WHO???
Something somebody said sometime...
Anyone looking for cruise tickets...CHEAP?
Do U Wanna Fuck Me? Oh...YEAH!
All That Showers Isn't Golden...
Slippin Round the Dial with Dick
Do dyslexic stoners get high at 2:40?
fucking around with the natural order of things?
A little help?
Interview with a Canadian
DickSlippery...Entrip...intre...untra...Businessman!
I (heart) Girls!!!!!
Its like they're looking in a mirror...
I had 2 say thanks...
Terror in the Heartland
The Billion Dollar Hand Job (without a happy ending)
IM SOOOO FUCKING PISSED!!!!
Why do I do this 2 myself?


Comments:

post a comment!

onehornytoad69

May 3 @ 6:50PM  
Loved it!!! Thx man!!!
theSkwirl

May 3 @ 8:08PM  
Oh man.. ok that was my first good belly laugh of the week.. thanks Dick!
xquseme

May 3 @ 10:10PM  
When ya gotta choose between internet access and cable, ya gotta go for AMD and
broadcast TV...even if that means Ellen, Oprah and Dr. Phil!! I feel your pain, brothah!

As an afterthought...Between Maury Povich and Connie Chung, who do you consider
the serious journalist, and who do you consider the trash TV king? Then, after THAT
decision, who do you think ruined WHOSE career....?!?!?
Looking4ever

May 4 @ 2:36AM  
I want Dick! Vote Whig!

free dating | mission statement | testimonials | safety warning | report abuse | safe list | privacy | legal | 2257 | advertise | link to us

© Copyright 2000-2014 Online Singles, LLC.
OS-WEB02
Slippin Round the Dial with Dick