"Woke up this morning with a wine glass in my hand..."
Helooo Pervia.
Got an interesting letter via Pervian Express recently. The envelope was a little sticky and the corners were chewed and there was a small stain on it, but it arrived in basically one piece.
It was an application for a job posting I recently put out there. It read:
Dear Sir,
I am writing in application for the position of Muse. I prefer the cowgirl but will take whatever available position you are up for. I bring to this position (cough) years of experience.
My personal qualifications include, but are not limited to, being a self-starter, willing to work alone or with a group, able to quickly learn new techniques in order to further my employment, reliable, and will finish what I start.
I hope that you will consider me for this and any other position for which you may find me qualified.
PS. I'll let you keep your nuts if you hire me.
I thought I would share my reply with you today. (I'm just that kind of open guy ya know...)
Dear Laplickant,
I am quite intrigued by your deep understanding of the requirements for this position. However, before we take this to the personal examination errr... interview stage I would like to make you aware of a few of the hazzards this job may entail.
You may incur any or all of the following while performing the duites of this position, including but not limited to:
Rug burns, hours of dicktation (...and not necessarily the Slippery kind), endless repeat requests, dizzyness, loss of balance, head rushes, shortness of breath, dampness, mild tail pain.
I am quite impressed by your finishing skills. In fact your references speak highly of that particular skill. I am curious why they all seemed out of breath in our conversations, however.
I am enclosing a copy of a manual written by some Indian guy that details the possibilties and variety of positions you may find yourself in if you choose to continue your pursuit of this... errrrr... position.
PS. I'm glad you like nuts.
I just sent this out through the normal channels, but I better try the not-so-normal channels as well, I believe this one may be a bit difficult to pin down.
Maybe not.
"Do you... YOU! ...feel like I do?"
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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