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Exercising 101...rofl...

posted 4/27/2010 11:55:08 AM |
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Ok I thought it would be fun to relive what I did yesterday kind of a comedy on my um shall we say attempt at exercising it will have bits of comments from other people I will try to clarify accurately but should be good for a laugh so here goes...

"I am lacing up my new $80 sneakers" ok lets try a slight jog here...I get out on the road thinking that I could actually do like i use to when in high school (yeah right who am i kidding!)...well i made it down the road not even a block...I am so winded I am bent over, well lets try a brisk walk til i catch my breathe...

"pant, pant" well this brisk walk is okay, " hey sexy lady! " I flip off the group of teens making these lovely remarks & get a laugh...then I get "hey lady! get off the side walk I am riding here!" I turn around to this very large male carrying pizzas in 1 hand & riding a mountain bike barreling down on me. Needless to say i got out of the way, meanwhile my calves are screaming since of course I did not stretch I have this a**hole screaming at me & after he goes by me on the sidewalk goes maybe a few feet & stops to re adjust the takes him so long that I pass him so of course as we are coming up to a stop sign i am going left he starts yelling at me yet again to move (like i know when he is going to start riding up behind me i have esp now dontcha know? ) ...

So i think I have caught my breath & actually attempt running up the hill, mind you not that steep but to my body felt like a marathon! I make it 1/2 way up & die, i have snot running down my face I can't breathe & my heart feels like it's going to i slow down much to my chagrin a female in her late 60's at least goes casually by me in a very nice outfit not a bit of sweat anywhere commenting on how she loves to run 10 miles a day & to keep up the good work! ...yeah right lady right now the only thing i want is a nice big hot tub & some valium! rofl...

I am now approaching a park & a high school where young athletes are looking marvelous (a youth to be young & in shape! ) I am actually able to look like i can make it when this dog from out of no where starts to chase i am not joking, the runner he came with is attempting to catch us unbeknown 2 me is this dog is a big wimp now let me just say that when you look back & there is a huge male rottweiler black & tan in color with drool coming at you that's not the 1st thought that pops into your head...needless to say he caught up to me & proceeds to slobber my hand! I am visibly shaking from the olympic sprint i have performed & the relief that I won't be attacked when i realize i know the runner we were in cross country together in high school! she is laughing so hard she is almost wetting herself...we say hi while jogging in place & continue on...

I am a 1/2 mile from my home when i start to get leg cramps i am talking so bad i don't want to move of course in my stupidity figure oh i ll just walk them out NOT! I slowly make my way up the stairs to my home & collapse in my chair...I have tried taking a bath, popped some ibuprofens, rubbed ben gay on my legs & I am now sitting here with a tendon going from my big left toe up to my knee yes i realize that's not possible but that's how it feels i can't flex my foot it's not visibly swollen but it's pinching off in my foot so my toes are going numb...

Ah the pain then i realize i only walked 1 mile! yes all this agony for 1 mile of walking ah to be in shape again! rofl... this is sadly very true & hope you enjoyed it.

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Apr 27 @ 12:23PM  
OMG! I can't stop laughing, Janet. I'm sorry, I just couldn't help from cracking up through all of your story. Just take it slow. It's going to take some time to get back in shape. Don't give up. As you continue doing this it will get easier and easier.

Apr 27 @ 12:24PM  
Kudo for a great humorous blog and a great sense of humor you have.

Apr 27 @ 1:00PM  
I've decided that round is a perfectly good shape and that's how I'm gonna stay.

I did chuckle a tiny bit.. sorry. Still love me?

Apr 27 @ 1:13PM  
OMG! I'm sorry, but that had me laughing, especially the part about the pizza guy. (btw....I wouldn't have moved...I'm just that stubborn. )

Growing up around thing I have learned, when they "charge" you...stop, don't run. Seriously. When I was a kid, a neighbor had this "HUGE" Doberman, (ok, the dog looked huge to an 8yr old ). One friends and I were out running and screaming, playing in the field behind the church across from my parents house, and the noise caught the attention of the Dobe. She came over to investigate...and I remembered my Dad telling us to never run as that kicks in a dogs natural instinct to hunt. I froze in place while some of the other kids ran. Sure enough, the Dobe chased the kids running. She came back around by me, I just stood there, acting like I was ignoring her, and she went back home.

Not saying this is always going to work...each dog is different. But most dogs, this does work with.

Good luck on your next foray into exercising. A bit of advice...stretch before venturing out, and don't start off jogging right away if it's been a few years since you've done so...start at a walk, work up to a brisk walk, and then jogging.

Apr 27 @ 1:38PM  
Good One!

Apr 27 @ 2:56PM  
Funnier'n hell

Apr 28 @ 10:15AM  
ahhh been there done try to do the work out of our youth without working up to it........sighhh it does take TIME.......

less is best...keeps us able to work out the next day....

May 7 @ 9:18AM  
LMAO!!!!!! Sorry to laugh but been there done that..... Use to run track when I was younger thought I could run no problem.. Yeah right...

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