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Not Sweating The Small Stuff...

posted 4/25/2010 6:36:29 PM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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Before I write this, let me start by saying I Love my daughter more than life....

But with living with her for the last 5+ months, I've also discovered she can drive me completely insane.
And that I am a picky, too set in my ways, bitch some.... okay, a lot of days.

Simple little things, like the way we fold towels differently, grocery shopping and the things we buy, I want a clean house and she doesn't seem to think it's important anymore. An extra $10 and I'm thinking I can make a nice meal and she runs through the drive thru, dinner later?
And she has now learned the art of procrastination to a perfection....

Now, in all fairness she was not this way until she started going through her divoce.

She was one of the most responsible, organized people I know........ and now??

I know and I understand she is in complete limbo with her life at the moment... But I am going insane some days.

So,,I am looking at how much of it is actually me and not her and stepping back, taking a really good look at some of the things I do and say. And why. Some of the little things that are No big deal that I, for some reason lately, allow to get to me.
I am not changing to adjust to someone else, I am just trying to relearn to loosen up a little and allow life to happen.... I guess in other words, not to sweat the small stuff.

Now... I just need to figure out what the small stuff is....

Seriously, it's all okay. But there are moments that we do just shake our heads at each other..

Do you allow small stuff to get to you or do you just let it slide?
Really let it slide or hold it in until you explode?
What are some of the little quirks that others do around you that you allow to really bother or upset you?
Things that in the grand scheme of life don't mean anything....

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Apr 25 @ 6:44PM  
early in life, i just couldn't stand to hear my parents chew at the dinner at
the dinner table. or eat their meals. they were both really annoying. i preferred
to get in trouble at the dinner table, like sing at the dinner table. act out, screw
up, spill my milk. chew loudly with my mouth open, because i couldn't breathe
thru my nose. always breathed thru my mouth. i thought maybe i need to
be in special ed, but i never was. just another mainstream mouschka mouseketeer. full of tears at the 'facts of life'. then i'd be sent to my room
and take my food and eat alone. the walls would sometimes talk to me.
or photos. i had. my sisters had vanished young, and my original ma and
pa, had too. and it was all lied about and covered up. so i figured i was
gonna be blue and black and blue all my life. the parents who raised
beat me all the time. and would set me up to screw up so they could
have an excuse to tar the living hell outta me. they were known as the
two meanest cruelest teachers in the entire los angeles unified school district.
if a kid gave them lip, he'd be killed by the gangs they ran in new york
city and los angeles, ca and all over the world. it was weird. but those
are the oddly enuff real 'facts of life'.

Apr 25 @ 6:49PM  
Sweetie...... Two Households Don't Mix!!!
We are like animals......Wait!!! Well, I think its animals are like Us!!
I have been there and Done That...and Ummmm Sweetie its Not You OR Her...Its our Nature!!!
That's Your Space she is in..and Our Nature...Is riled when that happens!!! If You can Understand what this dummy is saying?
Wish you Well!!!

Apr 25 @ 6:52PM  
A very wise man (or woman??) once said...

It's all small shit!

Apr 25 @ 7:15PM  
Trust me two adult women in one space does not mix. I don't really have a choice in the matter as my mother is unable to care for herself but while we were never close in the first place this has been an experiment in biting my tongue and just not saying anything that is going to make bad matters worse. First she came in with ALL her stuff and almost pushed us out of our space then she did not like the way I make meals or what time we choose to eat our meals. In the long run it all boils down to the fact we are two very different people that had very little in common who are forced to share a space with each other because of health reasons on her part.

One question would be are you living in her house or is she living in yours? If you are living with her in her house I would say things should go more or less the way she runs things there. If she is in yours then you might make some simple rules about how you want things done.

What I have discovered is that all the little crap can drive you crazy if you let it. Better to just let it go and make the best of a situation. There is a reason my room is on the lower level of a tri-level and her space is on the top floor. Sometimes we just need a space where we can get away from each other before WWIII breaks out. So I think the main thing is to just make sure you do have some time away from each other.

Apr 25 @ 7:16PM  
noooo i think you're probably on to something and i KNOW YOU ..its NOT need to jerk a knot in her ass n wake her up ...jmho

Apr 25 @ 7:18PM  
There is rarely anything more contentious in the household than a mother and adult daughter living in the same house. I tend to suspect that residue left over from the parent/child thing makes it all the more combative.

Apr 25 @ 7:21PM  
btw ..gave you a kudo wich you can use to rent me and I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO HER NEXT SUNDAY ......

thats what friends are for

Apr 25 @ 7:23PM  
My adult daughter, and her then 3 year old lived with me for three weeks. We soon fell into a gentle routine...

I would prepare dinner,
She would do the dishes,
She would bathe her daughter,
I would dry her and put on jamies

We both worked full time jobs, so onlly spend evenings together, I enjoyed their company very much.

If it had gone on for months...who knows???????????

Apr 25 @ 7:29PM  
I stayed at my parent's house after Mick's death for close to 2 years. I found myself astounded at the things I lived with growing up were now driving me crazy as an adult.

Mom was one who didn't always wipe off the stove when she was done using it. Unless of course there were splatters. Myself, I always wipe off my stove after using it. Mom, she dusts once a week, me...every other day. If I can see bugs me. I don't know...Mom is more laid back than I am....she doesn't let a little dust bother her, me, I think it's a result of 15 years cleaning hotel rooms....ya know..everything has to be "bright, shiny, clean". And with 5 dogs..that is quite the challenge. And with it being Spring..and them shedding...Yep, I'm sweeping the floors everyday.

But, although I had a different outlook on that....I didn't let it bother me much...If it got to where it did..I just cleaned it up myself. Mom appreciated that.

Apr 26 @ 8:00AM  
even when kids become adults they're like boomerangs, you can chuck 'em out and they just keep coming back.

Apr 26 @ 8:18AM  
I'm so much like my Mom, but at the same time, so different. We couldn't coexist.

Apr 26 @ 9:03AM  
even when kids become adults they're like boomerangs, you can chuck 'em out and they just keep coming back.

Good one, I like that!! My ex was one of six stair stepped kids, the first five girls. My father in law used to say the they were like cats: you get rid of them and they come back with kittens.

Apr 26 @ 9:09AM  
Good Lord girl........ I can soooooooooooo relate!! Thankfully, my daughter isn't going through a divorce but we have the same symptoms aruond here! We finally got my daughter a car so hopefully a job is next! I'm about to kill this kid! .................. ...............

I hope things get better for us with our girls!

Apr 26 @ 6:06PM  
My oldest, and her fiancee, dog and two cats are living with us in this tiny two bedroom apartment.. trust me.. I feel your pain.

I love em to death.. they are great kids and their animals are well behaved.. but I can barely stand living here with them anymore. I want my own space back.

Apr 27 @ 3:46PM  
Definitely not you...........You're

Actually you know I know exactly what your talking about ...hopefully things will get better for you and your in..........she gets her own place and you get your own space back..........

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Not Sweating The Small Stuff...