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So you SAY you want a nice guy...

posted 4/17/2010 1:08:30 PM |
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I haven't blogged on here for a while. I just moved to southern Georgia and I'm working on getting my life together. This one may sound like a rant, but I have to put it out there

It's really frustrating to hear so many women who say they want a nice guy who will treat them right, then avoid us like the plague. What's up with that? If you want an asshole, just say so. They say, "Honesty is extremely important to me." Then their own actions go totally against what they say. Now, I'm not saying that ALL women are this way, but the vast majority of the one's I've met in the past 20 years are. And I've met hundreds. Here's a brief list of some of the things I've been told by women, once they start to get to know me:

1) "I can't date you. You're too much like a brother."

2) "You seem too good to be true. I know you've got a hidden agenda. All men do." (Okay, this would indicate that she is well-traveled and has actually met every single man on the planet. )

3) Now this is my all-time favorite. I didn't have my first sexual encounter until I was 22. When I was 21, I was at a party and one of the guys asked me about my sex life. Being honest by nature, I told the truth. I had no trouble admitting I was a virgin. There was a very attractive young woman sitting at the table. "Right. So am I," she said sarcastically while holding her daughter on her lap. "Why would I lie about that?" I asked. "You're just trying to get in my pants." she replied with certainty. If I was as quick-witted then as I am now, I would've told her not to flatter herself too much because it's unattractive. But all I could do was sit there allowing my chin to hit the table.

4) My last girlfriend yelled at me and called me a perv when I tried to complement her and show a small bit of affection.

Now, I've been kicked in the teeth in some way by 5 out of the 6 women I've been with in my life. But even after all that, I can't imagine how miserable my life would be if I judged women as harshly as most of them judge men. I guess it's just not in my nature. Maybe it should be. Any thoughts?

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Apr 17 @ 1:39PM  
Hang in there, the right woman will come along.

Apr 17 @ 3:54PM  
I can't imagine how miserable my life would be if I judged women as harshly as most of them judge men. I guess it's just not in my nature. Maybe it should be.
Why would you want to join the men and women who judge others harshly? Doesn't make any sense to me... there's enough negativity and judgmental attitudes in the world without becoming a member of the club.

There are nonjudgmental women in the world... I count myself among them. That doesn't mean my life is a bed of roses. I make a lot of mistakes... one being I trust people and give them the benefit of the doubt even when they may not deserve. Being trusting makes one vulnerable and wide open to be hurt, but I will not change just because other folks are not aware of what they do or are aware, but choose to ignore their hurtful behavior.

Apr 17 @ 5:56PM  
Although its true that "some" women do judge men harshly........I think there is probably an equal amount of men who do the same.............

And women do want to have a man that treats them right, many times tho they have been involved with men who were not so nice so they question their own judgment.........been there done that........I am with one of those nice guys now.......and he is more than I ever hoped for..........but being nice does not mean being a door mat which is unattractive to most people.........he treats me good and with respect but doesn't allow my opinion to affect what he thinks or feels about a given situation........I have come to a conclusion with some of the men who say they are a come on for women to trust them or do other things detrimental in meeting someone and blames the fact that they are just too nice and that's why women are not attractive to them.

I think there is more proof in a man being nice when he just acts that way and doesn't have to say it............JMO

Apr 17 @ 8:54PM  
Are you speaking of "nice" as in an exclusively to win a woman's affection or nice as in altruistic, compassionate way towards everyone regardless of who it is?

Apr 17 @ 10:33PM  
That's a good question, lunanegra, and one I hadn't thought of. When I say "nice", I mean that I treat everyone with respect regardless of who they are or where they come from. When I talk to a woman, she's seeing me the way I really am in every aspect of my everyday life. Whether she chooses to believe it or not is completely up to her.

Thank you for your input and Blessed Be.

Apr 18 @ 2:07AM  
I do like nice guys but there has to be more to him than just being nice. Intelligence is pretty much at the top of that list. A laid back personality would be next on the list. So just because someone is nice does not mean that there is not other requirements to be more than casual friends. Sometimes the chemistry is just not there to take it to another level. It has nothing to do with how nice someone is or is not but more that you can't make something be there that just isn't.
Perhaps you should take a look at other parts of your life and figure out if there is something you can work on or improve We are never finished but always works in progress. Maybe there is something that is screaming brother to women instead of potential relationship.

Apr 18 @ 2:39PM  
Are you speaking of "nice" as in an exclusively to win a woman's affection or nice as in altruistic, compassionate way towards everyone regardless of who it is?

Oh Luna you said it perfectly! I was with a 'nice guy' for over 4 yrs. He'd do anything he could for anyone. BUT he was a slob, not intentionally I know but it drove me nuts to watch his ashes fall in my floor, or when he missed the ashtray. Or if he went to grab a bite to eat and not even think of asking if anyone else would like something. When you mention a nice guy that means alot of other things involved. Consideration not just to me, but others yes, Taking care of your apperance also counts I'm sorry I got carried away

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So you SAY you want a nice guy...