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A little help?

posted 4/17/2010 1:10:24 AM |
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tagged: whig
  DickSlippery

Im becoming OBSESSED with comments. I dont care so much about views, cuz anyone can hit back on their browser and pump that number up (check out the numbers on some of everybodythinksimafag's recent blogs if U dont believe me), but comments actually take a bit of thought on the part of the poster. Not much...but some.

So what usually happens is this...I write a blog. Then I spend WAY 2 much time going over the little nuances no one EVER pays attention 2 like the position of punctuation marks and whatnot. Then, finally, I post it 2 AMD. Then I sit and wait. Sometimes I wait for HOURS wondering what people think. In some cases I may go in and make slight variations in wording. Small edits here and there hoping that makes the difference between an ok blog and a great one.

AND I WAIT...and wait...and wait. In the meantime I watch as others post blogs and my masterpiece drops further and further down the main page (we all know once it drops off the main page no one will ever see it again). I can't help but notice people are commenting on Skwirl's shit. So the comment button is working. So then what's wrong with mine? WHY DONT THEY LIKE IT?? Why dont they like me?

Finally I decide I have had just about enough of this bullshit and I log off so I can go wax my noodle for a few hours. When I do make it back I usually log on2 find three or four comments waiting for me, which is nice but still leaves me wondering. I cant help but wonder what the people who didnt comment were thinking. I leave my comments open for a reason. I sometimes NEED negative comments in order 2 get better. No one ever gets any better if they are getting their dick sucked on a regular basis. Ok - that didnt make any sense at all, but I knew wtf I was talking about and thats all that fucking matters.

On average Id have 2 say my blogs bring in maybe 100 views and if Im lucky I will get 5 comments. That's one out of every twenty. We cant do any better than that? Get it at least up 2 one out of every ten? Anything 2 feed this monkey on my fucking back!!!

After all, this is all Ur fucking fault. I used 2 not give a shit what anyone thought. Then I started blogging here and the "Oh that was great, DS" and the "awesome job, DS! Here's a greenie 4 ya" went straight 2 my fucking head! Worse than that, my particular sickness lends itself 2 visions of grandeur, so it is only 2 easy for me 2 start 2 believe my own hype. I start 2 forget that my little bit of celebrity does not extend itself beyond the confines of AMD. It doesn't even extend beyond the confines of AMDs Blog page. I forget that shit sometimes, which almost ALWAYS leads 2 disastrous results.

Because it is true that fame, however fleeting or even imagined, does have quite the addictive quality 2 it. Its fucking fun 2 be well known. Its fucking fun 2 have women clamoring over U. Its fucking fun feeling like U have a guaranteed lay in every town in America. ITS FUCKING FUN!!!

And then the day comes that someone writes a blog (and gets like 35 comments, btw) about their favorite bloggers and Ur namer doesn't get mentioned. HOLY SHIT! Is this for fucking real? There is just NO way...wait...Im being Punked, right?

But its not Ashton Kutcher who is fucking with U...its life in general. The fact is U aren't anywhere close 2 as popular as U believed. In fact, U were barely remembered at all! It was like someone had come along and kicked me square in the BALLS! Not a feeling I particularly enjoyed.

So do me a favor and leave me a comment, would ya? Even if it isnt flattering leave it anyway. Make my day. Or else I may have 2 write another one of these whiny, please like me blogs and none of us want that. I know I don't, anyway. I'd much rather keep on

Keeping U posted

DS

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   read more blogs!

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Where have I been???? Where have U been is more like it!!!
WHO???
Something somebody said sometime...
Anyone looking for cruise tickets...CHEAP?
Do U Wanna Fuck Me? Oh...YEAH!
All That Showers Isn't Golden...
Slippin Round the Dial with Dick
Do dyslexic stoners get high at 2:40?
fucking around with the natural order of things?
A little help?
Interview with a Canadian
DickSlippery...Entrip...intre...untra...Businessman!
I (heart) Girls!!!!!
Its like they're looking in a mirror...
I had 2 say thanks...
Terror in the Heartland
The Billion Dollar Hand Job (without a happy ending)
IM SOOOO FUCKING PISSED!!!!
Why do I do this 2 myself?
Setting the Record straight...
I just don't know WTF is going on anymore...
100 motherfuckers online right now...97 of them OFF THE HOOK!!!


Comments:

post a comment!

onehornytoad69

Apr 17 @ 1:29AM  
That was a Wild read!!!

But yanno.....I'm Bored, With a Large Tooth Ache.......So I will read what I can cipher....









its All Good I'm sure!!!
Pudge2you

Apr 17 @ 1:37AM  
duuude... I know right! It's like original content grows on trees or someting...

You da man... have been, will be. I always read, I guess I'll have to always comment to help you with your self-promo...

I get it.
RJ53

Apr 17 @ 1:51AM  
Here is your comment and I feel your pain. Nothing like taking the time to actually think about what you are blogging then nothing. I will even leave you a green thing for this one. How is that?
KitKat25

Apr 17 @ 2:01AM  
And then the day comes that someone writes a blog (and gets like 35 comments, btw) about their favorite bloggers and Ur namer doesn't get mentioned. HOLY SHIT! Is this for fucking real?

Hmmm...I don't know ya DS...but I like what I've read over the last couple of weeks so that's a start right?

As far as not being named in the aforementioned blog...I do believe you were mentioned more than once...so that's a mention right?

Kudos for still being such a hoot.
Dione

Apr 17 @ 2:17AM  
DS... just when I thought you wouldn't want to be Sally Field you had to conjure this blog... I mean, do you "really, really want us to like you" that much?

No one should try to make another person like them... it's meaningless and way too much work for very little, if any, superficial reward. Still I'll grant you a greenie since you whine so purdy!
onehornytoad69

Apr 17 @ 2:24AM  
I am Puking at the way Women are falling over you man!!!
WTF??????? Amen!!
RJ53

Apr 17 @ 2:46AM  
I am Puking at the way Women are falling over you man!!!

I would not dare try to fall all over someone because with my luck they would just let me hit the freakin floor.
Ewe_Wish

Apr 17 @ 5:40AM  
Damn DS don't be begging for comments...........soon you will be wanting kudos and offering to trade sex for them..... I read your blogs but very rarely comment on them..........not because they are not good I am actually boycotting you.........since you dropped out of the running for president and I had to vote for......well whoever the fuck I had to vote for back in the day......I feel cheated..........I don't mind voting for an asshole........but he has to be a crazy one like you for me to feel good about it.........

but since your blog was original, cute and funny..........I will give you a blog...........I would spend time bouncing your view comment up but its the middle of the night and I just don't have the energy.
DickSlippery

Apr 17 @ 5:59AM  
LOL

Thanks guys...Im over it now

I think one of my personalities is getting her period.

Im back 2 not giving a fuck again.

DS
DickSlippery

Apr 17 @ 7:19AM  
soon you will be wanting kudos and offering to trade sex for them


Why? Do U know someone who can hook me up?


DS
Sunshine79

Apr 17 @ 7:53AM  
Love You Mr. Parker!
StraddleMyNose

Apr 17 @ 11:32AM  
This was an interesting read. It had a lot of energy and emotion in it. Good blog.
theSkwirl

Apr 17 @ 1:18PM  
Threaten to bite em and steal their nuts.. it works for my 'shit'.
theSkwirl

Apr 17 @ 1:20PM  
Oh all right, damnit.. I'll leave you ONE.. ONE of my coveted and hoarded green nuts.. but just this once cuz you whined purty.
sugarnspice005

Apr 17 @ 5:56PM  
Ummmm.....here's your comment.

Is that good enough?


Wait! Is there some sort of reward for a comment? Ya know these things don't come without a price.

Well, I'm in a good mood today...so I'll leave a kudo just for the helluva it.
TastyCupcake

Apr 26 @ 11:13AM  
I enjoy all of your blogs. If I don't always leave a comment, it doesn't mean I haven't read one of your blogs. Sometimes I simply don't have enough time to post the type of comment that a well conceived blog deserves.
xquseme

Apr 26 @ 11:45AM  
I guess I missed commenting on this one the first time around...

Sometimes, commenting on a blog is like putting a mustache on the Mona Lisa. When
it's well written with just the right amount of humor, sarcasm and wit, a blog can stand
on its own. Sometimes it feels like commenting on a nicely written piece will detract
from it.

Lessee....irreverence...picturesque imagery...humor...intelligence...and just the right
amount of filth...How can you miss?!?

Just one question. How do you open this site in the middle of the PUBLIC LIBRARY,
without the old maid librarians standing over your shoulder, tapping their toes and
clucking their tongues...???
Luvrgrl

Aug 27 @ 10:18PM  
FUCK! I miss ur shit! Bring your pouty whiney ass self back here before I have to come an bitch slap ya...oh fuck me... you like that bitch slappin....ok...well...so I'm gonna fuckin yank that slippery dick of yours so hard....you won't know what to do next! How's that...now will you come back???? what do I gotta do get on my knees???


Keepin U.....



whisperingcomet

Aug 28 @ 8:33AM  
Damn Mr Slippy, how did i miss this? I like you, and i have always liked you.

I see that you have started your period, and are feeling more like yourself....well one of your selves.

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A little help?